Bedtime Issues

[~Kiki]

I've been looking at all the different EASY posts and I'm confused. Before bedtime is it

E Final feeding
A Bath/Diaper Change
S Bedtime

or

E Final Feeding
S Bedtime

Basically I guess what I'm asking is do you do A time right before bedtime? My 14 week old was going straight to sleep during her last feeding and I'd put her to bed. Now she's up and grumpy after the final feeding and continues to push her bedtime later and later.

[BabyBsMommy]

When I was first implementing EASY when ds was 2 months old, I took special note that Tracey said in her book the one time it is ok to feed before sleep is before bed.  It is ok to do feed, bath, bed OR bath, feed, bed...it depends on what works best for your lo.
With mine, we have tried it both ways and have found a bf before bed works best because he gets pretty hyped up in the bath and needs it to calm himself.  It is not good for them to fall asleep everytime you feed before bed but if it happens once in a while it is ok.  Ds falls asleep sometimes when he has had crummy naps or is just a bit extra tired.  Between 4-6 months if this happened, he would often wake up 45 min into his bedtime sleep and need some resettling but over the past few months this rarely happens.  He probably dozes off bfing once a week or so before bed and I don't sweat it because he doesn't need it to go to sleep any other time through the day or other times at bedtime.
I'm not quite sure why her bedtime is being pushed back but it may be that she is overtired and is having a hard time falling asleep.  What time is bedtime? 

[~Kiki]

Normally her last feeding is around 8:00 or 8:30 (depending on what time she wakes up in the morning). So I've been trying to put her down after the feeding. I recently tried feeding, then a bath and still she will stay up until 9 or 9:30. By this point we are both so grumpy

I just thought of something else...I normally let her do a full nap before the last feeding. Do you think she may not be tired when I try to put her down at bedtime?

Here's an example of our schedule:

E 7:30
A 8:00
S 8:45

E 10:30
A 11:00
S 11:45

E 1:30
A 2:00
S 2:45

E 4:30
A 5:00
S 5:45

E 7:30
A 8:00 Bath
S 8:30 (Hopeful bedtime, which will really end up being 9:30)

[KathrynK]

hi there
I have always done bath right before bed as when lo gets out the bath she is just zonked out (a nice warm bath always sends me to sleep too!) but my friend's lo goes the other way and gets so excited by the bath he has to have at least an hour afterwards to wind down before bed- I guess they are all different
how long is that nap at 5.45? you might be right and she is just not tired enough for bed

[* Paula *]

I agree with PP - If your lo is having a long sleep in the late afternoon, she may just not be tired enough to go to bed.

Try for a cat nap of about 45 minutes to an hour.

As for the bath, I would do what ever suits you.  My DS has always seen bath as playtime, and always get so excited before a bath, we have always had to bath before a feed.

Let us know how you get on.

Paula x

[BabyBsMommy]

 I think that lo is getting a lot of daytime sleep with four 1:45 naps at 3.5 months, especially when in a month or so, lo will be moving towards 4 hour EASY which is two naps and a cat nap.  I agree that you should try to turn that last nap into a cat nap and not let it go much more than 45 min.  That would have the last A time starting at 6:30 and by the time you do a bath, a little quiet activity and a feed, it will be around 7:30 and I bet she'll go down a little easier.  It will probably not happen overnight but it will get better.  I also agree that you'll have to play around with what works best - bath first or feed first.  Good luck!

[~Kiki]

I actually ended up keeping her up between the last feedings (2 hours apart). She got to bed at 7 PM it was amazing. Now we'll see what time she wakes up tomorrow morning

[BabyBsMommy]

Oh, please let us know how the morning wake up goes!  If she wakes up early, give it a few days and if it is still happening, try pushing back a smidge, I'm talking 5-10 min and give it a few more days.  Back in the day when I was struggling with sleep, someone on here talked about all babies having a "magic number" - meaning the perfect time for their own little clock to fall peacefully to sleep at night.  The trick is finding it!

[Kimberly®]

Actually looking over your bedtime, its to late. 9pm is to late, keep bedtime to 7-7:30pm and you'll have a much easier time because your LO wont be overtired. Added bonus, you get lots of A time in the evenings.

our bedtime routine was/is
Bath (songs while in the tub)
bottle (quiet story while she ate)
and right into bed.

Also its time to switch your naps around.
Rather then another nap at 5:45 Start your bedtime routine, do your final feed about 6:30 then into bed for 7. Right now you have to much daytime sleep and a LO up to late.
Do a feeding at 1:30-4:00-6:30 (cluster feeding) and a dreamfeed at 10:30. This should fill your LO's tummy nicely.
 

[~Kiki]

Thanks for all the great feedback! She slept very well (as did I) until 4 AM had a feeding then went right back to bed until 8 AM!!! It was so lovely - cross your fingers it works just as well tonight

[* Paula *]

That is great, keep us posted on how you get on.

Paula x

[BabyBsMommy]

Congratulations!  I hope you get another night like that again tonight! 

[* Paula *]

How did last night go?

[~Kiki]

Last night went horribly. We did exactly as we had the night before, but it took us 3 hours to get her down. Then she woke up at 12 AM, 4 AM, 6 AM then was up for the day at 8:30 AM. Normally she would go to bed and only wake up once between 4 & 6 AM. Hopefully tonight will go better - my husband is attempting to put her down right now.

[rinajack]

That many wakeups sounds like overtiredness (as does so long to go to bed).  How long was the A time in the evening before bed?  Plus if fighting you for 3 hrs, then def exhausted when finally fell alseep.
Are you BFing?  If it takes soo long in the evening, especially if that involves heaps of crying, your lo probably worked up to hungry again.  I would give a time limit, then try another feed?

And did you do bath feed bed, or feed bath bed?


If not having that last nap at all, maybe bedtime needs to be even earlier? At 6mo I still sometimes put my lo to bed at 6pm.  If the last nap finishes at 4:30 then the A time before bed is almost twice as long as her other A times, so consider shortening it - or offering just a short nap, then short A time involving only bath feed etc.