tired parents - please help

[giorgia]

hello all,
we discovered BW recently - when I was researching sleep information to help us with the accidental parenting we've been doing. Our LO is 2 and half months and has slept ok for the first few weeks in a bassinet, but would not nap during the day more than 30 minutes in the bassinet or crib or playpen. as a result he slept a lot in my arms as this way he would sleep longer (up to an hour and a half or two). A month ago he had a very hard time falling asleep after the 2 or 3 am feeding, and because we were overtired we took him in bed with us - where he would sleep like an angel. soon, he wanted to come in bed at midnight, then at 10 pm until we could not put him down in the bassinet anymore. classic exemple of accidental parenting - although we had good intentions.
he sleeps now in bed with us like an angel - for about two weeks now he only wakes up at 3am for a feeding. during the day he continued to sleep in my arms or if I would put him down will sleep for 20 min and wake up.
wanting to put him in a good routine I read a lot about sleep. Found BW and thought is the most compassionate and appropriate. We wanted to get him used to the crib and to sleep by himself so we started to do the shh/pat method, and lost two nights of sleep to no avail. he only slept for 45 min the most and would cry a lot. first night he almost did not sleep. I continued during the day but he has a very hard time naping - if I manage to put him down and he falls asleep the most h sleeps is 30 min. last night I gave in and ttok him in bed where he continues to sleep well - I don't need to wake up at all unless for feeding.
today I continued to put him down but he is extremely resistant and only took a 30 min nap all day - the other naps I would attempt to put him down where he would stay for 5-10 min and wake up crying.
as a result, he is now very tired and cried a lot this evening - tried again to put him in his crib and he does not want to sleep - the moment we think he'll be fine he wakes up crying. don't know what to do anymore.
please advise.
thank you, Giorgia
he is on a 3 hours feeinf schedule and I foolow the EASY routine and try to read his cues too

[beamama]

Hi Giorgia! Congrats on your little one! I remember putting mine to sleep on my chest at night to just get some more sleep. We worked it out just fine so don't fret too much!


One thing I might suggest is to go one step at a time and work on one sleep cycle at a time. If you try to do it all at once I think everyone will get tired and frustrated. So pick a nap or bedtime and try to get him to sleep somewhere else besides your bed or your arms.

I also remember someone advising me to get the baby nice and drowsy in your arms then try to transfer to the crib.

Have you tried swaddling? It worked well for my dd. I did it in combination with pat and shush (oh I am having flashbacks remembering leaning over her bassinet!!!) and it did finally work but it tkaes some time.

I have to run now but best of luck to you!
Bea

[giorgia]

thank you bea, i'm writing while feeding so i apologize for no capital letters.
thank you for the suggestion, i was thinking the same but than i felt guilty for not following up consistently and not sure if it will work. but if i continue doing it at all times he will be an overtired crancky baby.
he does not like swaddling, i tried. he also gets upset when i shhuh too much so i do it only until he calms down. and yes, i try to get him all sleepy and nice before putting him down, but he still wakes up.
it's also more difficult because i'm tired too - we have no family to help us and my husband is really sweet anh helpful but is working long hours and is very tired too.
what a threesome we are....

thank you again, i'll try this approach now.

ok, he's done so gotta run.