Toddler nap without prop!! Accidental parent......

[swan1]

Hi all,
I've got myself in a right pickle!
I always gave my dd a bottle and let her sleep with it in her mouth at naptime lying on the couch.
I never put her to bed for her nap.
Then I decided it was time for the bottle to go and she didn't object much, but I had just had a baby and I hadn't thought it through.
Now she won't nap at all during the day.
I would do pu/pd if she was in a crib but she's in a bed and would go crazy  and just get out  if I started trying to put her in her bed during the day. Anyway she'd just get out and start playing or trying on clothes.

She really needs her nap she was just two in September. We have just reprogrammed her into falling asleep by herself in her bed at nighttime, and she generally sleeps well until about 5am she will scream the place down unless someone lies in beside til she goes off again which takes about 15mins. We tend to answer her as we have a new baby who has started sleeping right through th e night without a feed and we don't want to risk waking her..........

Is there anything we can do or are we doomed!

[imsmum]

I'd definitely try to re-establish the nap b/c you may find the night/early morning waking disappears  if your lo is better rested.  In any event, until the nap is re-established try to put your lo down early at night, an hour  early if she'll do it, again that may solve the 5 am wakeup call.

If she has been napping on the couch I think you are right--you probably will have difficulty trying to re-establish the nap elsewhere since she probably associates the couch with daytime sleep.  Can you make it extra appealling for her to at least lie down on the couch during naptime?  Maybe get her a special nap blanket and/or pillowthat you reserve just for then--Dora or saomething else she's into?  You could give her some books to look at and a timer and say you have to stay here and llok at the books until the timer goes off and set it for an hour.  If she falls asleep--creep in and turn off the timer.  I've never tried the book thing myself but a friend of mine who has three kids swears by it.  All her kids would nap if she but them in their cribs with books.  Even if she doesn't sleep, she'll have a rest and "quiet time" which will hopefully give you a break too!

[Florencia]

What I'm about to suggest might be troubling with another (very) lo to attend but it's doable. PRobably her resistance for sleep has to do with the switch from couch to bed but also with some separation anxiety due to her age and the arrival of little sibling. She might feel she needs to be awake so she won't miss any special mommy time, kwim?

If Caroline's (PP) suggestion is not doable or won't work (cause that would be my first suggestion) you might try and make nap time a special cuddle time for her, like I'm gonna stay with you for a long time and read books (or sing songs, or tell stories, or play with dollies) with you but then we have to go down for a nap. That way, she gets her special mommy time BEFORE the nap and she'll get relaxed and ready for it and will associate her bed with daytime sleep as well. In case she doesn't go to sleep, at least she'll take the quiet time ok cause she has already spent quality time with you, so she won't feel she's been abandoned or being left out.

The timer is a great idea, some moms here have night ligths with timers (if noise is an issue for you) where the light goes on at the desired time. You can tell her she can go out of her room when the light's on cause that's waking time. Probably the first couple of days she won't nap (or will take long time to finally fall asleep) but once she gets the handle on how things work, she'll hopefully be on board for it.

Also you mention you'd do pu/pd if she were in a crib. But what about trying Walk in/Walk out (which is sort of the modified version of pu/pd for toddlers?). You'd lay her down say night night see you later and walk out (wo). She cries (important: not whine or moan or chat, you just respond to the cries) so you walk in (wi), reassure briefly, say night night again and wo. Keep doing that until she stops crying. If she's ok once you wo then leaveher be even if she's not sleeping. She'll go to sleep when she's ready and if she doesn't associate her nap with a power struggle or a stressing time.

I hope this helps you. Congrats on your newborn sleeping through! Good luck!

[swan1]

Thanks girls,
My biggest problem is that i've let her get away without a nap now for so long. She hasn't had a day time nap now for about 3months!! Unless of course I have to go somewhere and she nods off in the car.

I put her down to bed an hour+ earlier last night and she slept until 7.50am this morning. My husband and I are in total shock! So she went down at the same time tonight, so here's hoping!

[imsmum]

The early bedtime is great and might in fact help reestablish nap/quiet time.  I'd give it a go--especially now that she is sleeping longer at night, the old"sleep begets sleep" idea--and see if she'll nap for you.