Sleep deprived mommy on verge of breakdown...

[heartforall260]

Someone please help me!  My little Eva is 6 weeks old.  She takes great naps during the day; usually goes down without to much trouble... but when it comes to night sleeping, my sanity goes out the window.  Last night I started getting her ready for bed at around 7pm (her first yawn), she dozed from 8-9 and then was crying till nearly midnight.  I started crying at around 10:30, and it was all my husband could do to calm us down (poor man).  I'm at the end of myself, I've been keeping her to a schedule to the best of my ability since she was 2 weeks old, but her night sleeping has not improved.  I can tell that she is over tired in the evenings, but she just won't go down any sooner then 12am

I try and go by her cues so the schedule varies day by day but more or less it looks like this:

E  7:30
S  8a-10a

E  10
S  11:30-1p

E  1p
S  2p-2:45

E  4p
S  5:45-6:45

E  7
A  Some times dozes
E  9
A 
E  11
A
S  12am

E  4am

If anyone has any suggestions, please help me.  I've tried swaddling... she doesn't like it.  We have one of those womb sounds bears in her bed, she likes it a bit, but not enough.  Sh/P doesn't phase her.  I just don't know what else to do.  I tried letting her cry it out once, but I ended up crying most of the time too (and I'm not usually a crier).  I feel so incapable of being a mom.  I don't know how my mom did this 6 times!  Please tell me there's hope.  Thanks to whoever answers the cries of a desperate first time mommy.

[JennŠ]

I think your first glitch is the 2pm nap.  Is it usually only 45 minutes?  That could be setting her up for overtired for the rest of the day.  If we can extend that, it should help.   The other thing that stood out is the longer A time after the 2pm nap.  She might need that shortened.   What does she do when swaddled?  Often the ones who fight it the most are the ones who get the most benefits from it.  Other thoughts:  Breast or bottle?  What formula if any?  What wind down routine do you have?  When is bathtime?  As you know, CIO is not the answer, we just need to tweak things some.  You are doing just fine!!!  Mamahood is hard work!!!!!!  Glad you found us!!!!!   

[daniellechiasson]

{{{{{{{{{{ Joy }}}}}}}}}}

I think most, if not all mom's feel that incapability at some point, especially at the beginning because you are trying to get used to a whole new people that can't talk to you to tell you what they are feeling or needing. On top of that you are so exhausted and feel overwhelmed. I promise, it's gets so much better

I think Jenn has some great suggestions for you and once you throw out a bit more info I'm sure you'll get great help on solving this.

Make sure you take some time to rest. I know for me I was always worrying about laundry, cleaning, etc but you really need to just tell yourself to sleep when she does. All that other stuff will be there tomorrow and that's ok. That's great your DH is there for a shoulder. Sometimes it just helps to know you have support no matter what the trouble.

Danielle

[heartforall260]

OK.  She used to sleep for a longer period of time but it's just been lately that she's transitioned to the 45 min. nap.  I've checked out the forum for 45 min nappers and see that I'm not the only one with this problem.  She seems to be having a hard time transitioning through the sleep cycles.  I think she must be a touchy baby at least when it comes to sleep; she gets a serious case of the jolts and always wakes herself up.  Lately I think she's becoming addicted to her paci, so I really need to regulate when I let her use it.  Oh, she only has a long awake time because she's not sleeping as long as she should.

As far as swaddling, since she was born in Aug it was way to hot at night in our house for her to be all bundled up...  She also has an amazing way of wriggling out if it.  It's cooled down now, so I think I'll start trying it again.  I also have some swaddle type jammies that I think she'll fit into now so maybe I'll try that to.

I breast feed her and give her an occasional bottle of formula in the evening (Similac advance).  I've had massave problems BF, she took a chunk out of my right nipple and has a hard time latching on properly so I've been pumping out of the wounded side during the day.

Her bath is around 7ish pm

Wind down routine is turning down/off lights, turning on her womb sounds bear, and rocking her in the gliding chair for a bit till she settles.  Like I said, it works usually during the day, just not at night (when she's over tired).  Are her naps in the morning to long maybe?  She can't seam to stay awake very long between morning feedings and naps. 

I hope this info helps.  Thanks so much for your help and encouragement.   

~ Joy

[JennŠ]

Ok, the nap posts on 45 min naps can help you there.  I never had that problem, so not much experience there.   Definitely go back to the swaddle, sounds like she needs it.  If it's warm, go for just a onsie and a light blanket.  Or you can make one from a piece of cotton sheet.  At her age, it's less of an issue with paci addiction.  Littles this age need the extra sucking time.  Morning naps look like ours did at that age.  Try putting her to bed about 15 minutes at night.  When mine was younger, the first yawn was already too late, she was overtired.  Put to bed a bit earlier, we avoided that. 

[heartforall260]

  Thank you so much Jenn!  I'll have to give the 15 min. earlier deal a try.  Also, it's nice not to have to worry about the paci.  Great idea about using part of a sheet to swaddle... most blankets are really small.  I'll keep you posted if there's any progress.  Thanks!

~ Joy

[barbarab]

Just wondered how you were getting on with your lo?  I see you have had some great tips - how did it go and hope you are getting a little more sleep yourself and some rest.  We have a 9 week old daughter who is not the best at night sleeping either although getting better, so am there with you in spirit through the evening - it fills you with dread sometimes doesn't it???

Thinking of you.
B x

[KathrynK]

Hi Joy
my lo started to jolt herself awake after 45 minutes at about 6 weeks old. I found a great tip on this website (which I have since been unable to find again!) which went something like this: I would creep into her room at the 35 minute mark as apparently the jolts start at around 38 minutes. I would gently lay my arms across her ready to apply slight pressure to her arms and legs as she started to stir, to hold them still and prevent her from jolting herself awake. I stayed absolutely still until she had sunk into the deep sleep of the next sleep cycle- sometimes this meant I was in the room for 45 minutes.  As she got older she stopped jolting so much and just opened her eyes. I would try have my head below the side of the cot and cover the cot side with a towel or something so she couldn't see me. They do say to put a hand over their eyes if they open them to block out any stimulation but this just used to freak Sophie out.
I had mixed success- I would say it worked about 60% of the time, which doesn't sound great but it was sure worth the effort when it did work! Once I actually fell asleep sitting there and we had visitors at the time, and when I emerged an hour later they were like "where on earth have you been" and man did I have a stiff neck!
I agree with pp- 3 hours of awake time in the afternoon is too long for this age and she is doubtless overtired by bedtime. If dd ever got seriously overtired then I would chuck EASY out the window for one day and watch her like a hawk for sleep cues and just put her to bed the second she showed any signs of tiredness- often that meant putting her down when she'd only been up an hour, and I still tried to feed at the normal times as best I could. It made that day a bit muddled but generally meant that she caught up on her sleep so we could get back on track the next day.
hth
kathryn

[yaya]

Hey Joy! How are things going? Just wanted to offer my support, we've had all sort of sleep probs so I can sympathise! My advice (FWIW) is tackle ONE issue at a time and dont expect miracles in a day, appreciate the slow but sure progress and stick with it, CONSISTENCY is def the key (someone read this post back to me next time I 'm whinging LOL)!
DS was really difficult in the evenings till about 3mo and I thought it was colic (same time every day etc) turned out to be reflux. Anyway what i found helped was to take him for a quick stroll around the block (not to get him off to sleep but for the fresh air and from the clearly stressed vibes I was sending out). When we got hom I would make sure he was awake if he'd nodded off in the pram and then puthim to bed. often this power nap allowed him to be more rested for getting off to sleep (make sense!?)

Good luck hun and keep us posted!

[litomi]

(((HUGS))) If you can't extend the 2pm nap, just feed her earlier and put her to nap earlier. When my LO was 6weeks old, my EASY was between 2.5hr-3hr. The most important is to stick with the routine and read your LO's cues.
It's OK for your LO to rely on paci at this age. They need extra sucking time as well. If your LO is still relying on paci to fall asleep when she's 5-6 mo. then you might have to wean it. But for now, don't give yourself too much stress. 
My LO is 6mo now, with her shots, her milestones and starting solid at the same time, I'm exhausted and feeling incapable as well. I sometimes question myself, I can handle 15 3yrs olds in my class with two special needs children, why can't I handle my 6mo old? 
Try to nap while your LO naps

[heartforall260]

  Thank you all so much for your support and help.  She went down by 10:45 last night (with less crying) and I thought I was in heaven!  I think some how I missed my window for putting her down earlier (before she started to look tired), so my husband and I took her for a little walk, the fresh air must have done her good.  I think I'm having just as hard of a time getting used to this schedule too, I miss going out and being with friends some evenings.   Oh well, schedule first, then BABYSITTERS.
       I think I read that about going in before they jolt, I think it's in the W2S Board.  Well, we'll see how today goes.  Thanks!

[yaya]

ta da! the stroll worked! With DS it refreshed him and got him 'rested' if he was previously overtired (usually the case) before bed

good luck

[heartforall260]

Does anyone know how to do the Aussie Swaddle?  Eva can kick and squirm out of almost anything.

[yaya]

theres a link on the props board...HTH

[JennŠ]

Also FAQ on this board.