my 1 year old wont sleep through the night please help!

[kez2582]

hi i have a year old daughter who still is waking through the night i have tried the cold turkey and it worked up untill she got a cold six months ago and now can't seem to get her back sleeping right though has any body got any suggestions. Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have a three year old that has only just started to sleep all night and as they have to share a bedroom i am scared this will interrupt his sleep. I aint had a night sleep for a long long time as you will see and i am in great need of a good night sleep.

[Katet]

What does her day routine look like, ie wakeup, nap & bedtime
How does she fall asleep at night?
What do you mean by "the cold turkey"?

[kez2582]

hi thanks for showing an intrest! Her routine is a bit messed as i have to work three days a weeks and she goes to her nans those days, but it goes like this:
 
6.30 gets up
6.45 has breakfast
7.00 goes to nans with big bro
8.15 walks in pram to schhol to drop off big bro (falls aslepp here)
10.30 wakes up generally
12.00 Has lunch
12.15 Wals to pick big bro up from school (falls asleep here)
3.30 Wakes up at the latest
5.00 Has dinner
6.00 I pick them up
6.30 Has Bath
7.00 Has bottle
7.30 Bed
May accassionly have bottle in bed if has not drank it all before she goes to bed.
Then last night 11/10/06 she woke at 11.30pm crying gave bottle of water, back to sleep with in minutes, awake again three or four times before 6.30am to start the day.

Cold turkey i meant not giving her any thing in bed just letteing her cry.

I am open to any suggestions as i am tired and worn out!!!!!!!!1

[Katet]

OK day sleep sounds ok so doesn't look like overtiredness is an issue, more so that she is having a bit too much on the day sleep... at 12mo 3 hours would be maximum to ensure good night sleeps  & if she is falling asleep without a bottle (does she have a paci/dummy? if yes that may be part of the problem) so probably doesn't have a "sleep prop"

I think given her age one of the issues is Separation Anxiety & if you are working she may wake at night to get some of her "mummy quota"... I know that was an issue with my ds1 & I know others have the issue too.

I will be honest here I think letting a child cry to sleep isn't fair to a child (this is my opinion) & I can't (in my mind) discount that she isn't sleeping well due to the emotional issues of not feeling her needs are being met... (there are people - professionals- who may dissagree with me on that, but - Tracy Hogg author of the Baby Whisperer Books was a firm believer it wasn't good to let babies Cry it out (CIO). I certainly firmly believe babies cry for a reason & while we may not see that reason as important to us, it is to them (who are we to judge others needs) & by ignoring their needs I think we send a message that says they aren't important as a person (think about when an adult ignores you... how do you feel) .... further to that, she may have worked out that you don't respond to her crying at the start of the night so no use in doing that, but if you do respond in the middle of the night it gets a reaction & she gets attention so she feels "validated" by you, so she knows that at least in the dark of the night Mummy cares enough to answer my call.
My suggestions may go against your ideals, but I think you have to give her as much attention as you can & build her trust at times other than in the middle of the night... you still need to respond to her in the night. The water may also have become a prop that she uses to get back to sleep at that time, so maybe try just comforting her with words.
Also I have found it is important to give them a little while to see if they settle as sometimes night crying is just part of their sleep... I normally count to 50 & evaluate & either keep counting if the crying is settling or start to get out of bed... I made the mistake of "rushing in" to every sound my ds1 made & I think I made the problem worse

HTH & please don't feel I am judging you for letting her cry, I know of people who have had no problems with doing it & their babies sleep really well, but you have had problems & in my mind I can't discount it as a reason given nothing else sticks out

[Florencia]

ITA agree with Kate's advice and just have to add that given her age she might be teething, hence waking at night and being hard to console because of pain. The bottle might help because of the sucking (itchy gums find releif on sucking).

I'd suggest you to check on the FAQ section of this board under 2 particular threads: Most Common sleep busters, so you can see if something rings a bell and are able to find a reason for your dd's wakings and Teaching Independent Sleep which is where you can find a sleep training technique to help her resolve her wakings without CIO. Letting her cry it out is not fair on you or her and as you've experienced, can increase the problem of night wakings.

I see that her sleeping with her older bro might cause a sleep disturbance on him, since he's still young. IS there a way where you can sleep train her where she gets to have her own space? maybe dividing the room or moving big bro to living room or a spare room if you have it? It is important for each lo to get their sleep. I totally understand your concern about it and if you want ideas on how to achieve it, post back. There are many moms here with limited spaces at their homes that have managed to survive a sleep training process.

Another question is how she goes to sleep for naps when she's not at nan's? cause i see she's used to fall asleep in the stroller, and the movement might be soothing to her. Do you have problem at home for putting her down for naps? what her day looks like when she's at home with you?

HTH and post back with any questions you might have. Good luck!

[berdler]

Hi there,
I remember trying to teach my son how to go back to sleep on his own.  I would go into the room only after a few minutes of stirring around or fussing to see if he would go back to sleep on his own.  If you rush in at the first sounds then they may not go back to sleep.  Sometimes I just needed to place my hand on his tummy or back to let him  know I was there and stand my his crib until I heard his breathing relax.  If he cried I would pu/pd until he was comfortable (very hard at 3am, but worth it).  I hope this helps a bit.

[Mom2katiebug]

My DD isn't a great sleeper so take this as you may...but 5 hours of naps seems excessive at 1YO.  I would try cutting back on the daytime sleep to see if the nighttime sleep improves.