Is this really just a phase?!

[selena2]

The classic saying that we as mothers get told from people, don't worry it is just a phase!  Can some one please tell me how long these phases last for?!  I have an 18month old son who is refusing to eat period.  He used to be such a good eater.  Now he takes like 3 bites (if i'm lucky) and tells me all done.  It doesn't matter what I feed him either.  Most literature and even allot of advise from people tells me not to worry as children his age eat as much as they need,  what I can't figure out is how he is surviving on what he has been eating.

I have tried to mix up his food (I realize he has a changing appetite) and give him a variety.  We always sit at the table together and eat, i offer him meals and the appropriate snacks in between.  I also don't push food on him when he refuses to eat as I have heard that if I was to do that it would create a bigger power struggle.  I have been told the theory that eating is something that a toddler control and that is why he doesn't want to eat.  I try to offer and then re-offer food like an hour later but that is somewhat difficult as I have a 2 1/2 month old as well.

Has any one else out there had this same problem?!  It is starting to make me feel like a bad mom!  Any suggestions I could try would be wonderful as I am getting a little concerned that this "phase" could be detrimental to his health.

Thanx in advance

Selena mother of child that won't eat!

[Two mummies]

Hi Selena,

Sympathy headed your way...non-eating toddlers are incredibly stressful. Our little girl (14 months) seems to have one day where she eats anything and everything then a couple of days where the most she eats is a handful of raisins and a piece of cheese!

She is still having a half bottle of milk in the morning and a full bottle in the evening so we figure as long as she keeps the fluids up and seems happy she should be ok.

Having said that it is really hard not to stress and worry when she refuses to eat dinner after not eating all day, the thought of putting her to bed on an empty stomach really gets to us. We read somewhere the other day that you should look at what your toddler eats over the course of an average week and never on a daily basis.

[binxyboo]

Have you seen the thread for picky eaters on the toddler eating board? Come join us!

[Katet]

Is he having much milk... I know that toddlers who drink lots of milk (over 600mls/20oz) don't really need to eat anything much else as that is close to their calorie needs... my almost 17mo doesn't have much milk & he does eat a reasonable amount, but my 3yo hardly ate at the same age & he was a big milk drinker, once I cut back on milk her did eat a bit better
The phase... well it can go on & off for years as far as I can work out, I have friends/family who still struggle with their 7/8yos eating very little at times.
My "rule" is offer healthy food at meal times & have a healthy snack option & then let them decide. My 3yo knows that if he doesn't eat a meal that is offered, he can eat an apple or any other fruit or veg (any time of the day - he never has the veg though), but that is it (unless he eats the leftover meal)... I have been doing that for a while & somedays he eats 4 apples & that is pretty much it, but I know he is having healthy stuff for the most part. BTW both my boys started eating apples straight from the apple from about 12mo in preference to cut up apple

[hersheycolemans]

I've encountered some of the same challenges you have mentioned. I asked similar questions to our pediatrician a few weeks ago.

I think you'll feel much better if you read "Touchpoints," by Dr. Terri Brazelton. I bought it this week and it helped relieve a lot of stress. He writes about picky eaters and offers minimum daily requirements when you think your baby isn't getting enough nutrition. Here is brief sketch of the minimum RDAs:

1. Whole/Breast Milk - 16 oz
2. Protein - 3 oz (Hamburger, eggs, beans)
3. Iron - Usually in meat or or beans
4. Orange Juice - 1 oz OR a few bite sized pieces of fruit
5. 1/2 slice whole grain bread
6. 1/2 cup whole grain cereal
7. Cooked green vegetables - whatever they will eat, usually green beans

Brazelton explains that a toddler's diet must not be assessed in a 24 hour period, but rather a weekly average, since eating habits change so frequently. I recommend keeping track of what your lo is eating over a week or so. You just may find that on average, it's quite close to the RDAs, which, according to Brazelton, are just fine for sustaining your toddlers growth and development.

 ~ Relaxed for now. 

[Two mummies]

The other thing that we had to get a handle on was toddler sized portions (got useful information from this very website  ). I think some of our expectations about how much Riley should be eating were clouded by thinking a portion was much bigger.

As for drinking too much milk to eat Riley has about 300 mls by bottle per day and gets offered milk in a sippy cup after lunch (most often refuses it though).

[Lilah'sMommy]

I've so been there, and I'm so over it.   Lilah was a great eater until about 16 months or so, and since then, she really doesn't eat a ton.  Lately what I have been doing, which really seems to be increasing her intake is to offer food very frequently.  I'm offering about 5-6 mini-meals a day instead of three big meals and a snack.  Lilah will often eat very well at breakfast (a whole egg and a whole piece of toast with butter and honey, or a bowl of oatmeal with milk and raisins), and will still eat a small meal (about 3/4-1 oz of cheese, a few whole grain crackers, and a fruit or veggie) an hour and a half or two hours later.  She often only nibbles at lunch, or even skips it, but was skipping it even if I didn't give her such a hefty snack.  When she wakes from nap, she is very hungry, and most receptive to veggies, so that's when I'll offer those, along with another protein source and a grain.  I find that itf I give her a big snack, she'll often eat better at dinner than if I try to limit her snacks... I think of it as being like how an infant has trouble sleeping if they are overtired, a toddler has trouble eating if she's over-hungry.  And if she does skip the "big" meals of the day (lunch and dinner), at least I know she ate breakfast and two substantial balanced snacks.  Which sets my mind at ease.

Lilah barely drinks milk, so I know that's not interfering with her appetite.  She is on the small side, but her weight is in line with her height, so I try not to worry when she doesn't eat.  I've also started giving her a children's chewable vitamin (since she turned two), which she loves, and helps me to be a little calmer about her eating, as I know she's at least getting some nutrients, even if she's having a two-bites, "all-done" day.