new to this - just starting - and a total mess

[eliana]

Hello - sorry to have a pathetic first post.

New, first time mom to Eliana, who is 4 weeks old today- until today we have had no idea how to get a schedule.  I have started to read the book and will implement the EASY.

I have some questions about my baby though and some of her behaviors and hoping that you can help me understand her and her needs.

She is SO good when we are out - sleeps like a dream in her carseat and when in public.  During the day at home I cannot settle her into a nap - she will sleep for about 10-15 mins and then fuss until she cries.  I have to pick her up to soothe her and this is a pattern that does not stop.

I am BF but have to supplement because I have a terrible milk supply and she is always hungy after a feed.  I can never pump more than ounce or two both breasts combined when i pump.

At night she fights sleep.  She will almost fall asleep or fall asleep for a few minutes and then abruptly wake up like she is afraid she is missing something.  She cries and i have to soothe her by rocking and this can go on for several hours until she finally falls asleep - then we have about 3 hours until next feed and then the same soothing process.  In addition she also makes these very loud noises all night.

PLEASE, any advice or suggestions!  I know that i need to get her on a 3 hour easy schedule and I will start tmrw but i was wondering about how to understand my baby.

Thank you!

Stacy, mom to Eliana Sadie

[Missy Lou]

in my experience, when i was nursing (I had a low milk supply also) LO ate every 2 hours for the first month and then 2.5 hours until about 7 or 8 weeks.  So if LO seems hungry before 3 hours don't worry about feeding her.  3 hours may work but i just wanted to tell you that with a month old who's nursing, she may not be able to make it 3 hours.

i noticed my LO would jolt awake after going down if she was overtired or if i rocked her until she was completely asleep. getting her on a good routine will help a lot with the overtiredness.  since she's so young, you'll need to help her learn to sleep.  it gets easier for her as she gets older but if it seems difficult now, just know it's ok to intervene and help her until she learns how to settle herself.

have you found some sample routines on this board to help? 

are you able to soothe her while she's still in her crib?

she may also have her days and nights mixed up a bit if she sleeps ok while out during the day. 

have you tried having her sleep in a bassinet - something a little smaller than a crib?  my LO seemed to get freaked by all that space in the crib.

also, do you swaddle?

also - your post is not pathetic at all.  i've been doing this for months now and i'm always asking questions.  babies are super confusing.  plus they change so fast and it's hard to keep up.  i'll think i have addison and her routine figured out and then she changes. 

melissa

[* Paula *]

Hi Stacy,

Welcome to the boards.

Hugs, I am sorry to hear that you are having such a tough time.

Melissa has given you some great advice  I am going to attach few links for you to have a look at to help you get started with your EASY routine.

The below links are from our FAQ's board, but will help you get started

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=52283.0 - Know your baby.

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=62100.0

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=63243.0

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=63534.0

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=65842.0

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=63275.0

HTH - Please keep us posted and let us know how you get on.

Paula x

[eliana]

hi and thank you for the responses!  we had some small successes already with just starting last night.  We started to cluster feed at 5, had a bath, another feed and down at 7pm.  Dream feed at 10pm and she slept until 1 am.  She fed and was challenging for the next 2 hours, she finally fell asleep until 7.  We woke up fed and have been following an ideal 3 hour EASY!!!  I absolutley cannot believe it.

I will keep you posted.  Also what do I do when I cannot get her back down after a nightitme feed?  Thank you so much!

[* Paula *]

Stacy,

That is great news about getting started so well.

I would try and keep the middle of the night feed as quiet and dark as possible and once the feed is over, put straight back to bed.  It may take her a few days to get used to it, but it will definitely work.

Please keep us posted on how you get on.

Paula x

[eliana]

I have a new baby - bless her little heart - this new clueless mom was WAY overstimulating her LO!  I am so grateful for the book and this support - i will keep you posted on my night but i have to say this day was the best baby day yet and she went down like a dream.  Please cross your fingers this continues for me. (it is 8:12 here i put her doen 30 minutes ago and if this was a usual night for us she would have been screaming by now 3x over and NO PEEP from her!)  I hope i do as well with dream feed and the rest of the night.

THANK YOU!

[Missy Lou]

that's wonderful to hear.  i was/am clueless.  i see friends who haven't read BW and their LOs seem to be overstimulated a lot.  It's just something you don't think about. 
There are a lot of things to learn but having a good routine helps out so much, even when things are hard (like teething or colic or rolling over).

have a great night. 
love
melissa

[eliana]

so.......last night went like this:   

lo woke up at wide awake screaming at 9:45 pm - i tried s/p and soothing her back to sleep - she would have none of it.  So we did the feed and eventually i got her back to sleep and she slept until 2pm - DH fed her a bottle and she slept until 4:45, i got up BF her and she slept until 6:45 where we started our day BF and activity, I tried shortly after to sleep (because of her cues - yawning) and that was a disaster as well.  SO we got up and had a feed (BF), changed her and put her in a seat while i showered then she was hungry again - so i gave her a bottle and now she sleeps.......this is NOT the ideal day like yesterday....

will try to adhere to the schedule when she wakes from this sleep.

thanks

[* Paula *]

Your routine can take a few days to implement and for things to work out.

You say your lo woke at 9:45 - before the dreamfeed - did you clusterfeed before you went to bed?

Stick to the EASY routine as best you can - not all days are going to be perfect, but one the routine is implemented, your day will be so much easier.

Keep us posted on how you are getting on

Paula x

[eliana]

hi

yes - i did cluster feed, but no bath last night.  our ped recommends bathin 2 x per week for our LO....

i am plugging away.

[* Paula *]

Keep us posted on how you get on.

Paula x

[eliana]

this is just not happening for us.

let me outline some of the issues...

firstly at night we do the cluster feeds, did a bath and the last feed and she woke up every 10 minutes until 11pm....then i did the dream feed at midnight but i could not fall back asleep after sleeping for about 30 minutes.  She then had a pretty good night...

I cannot get the hang of E - A - S, she wants to A, E, S...and since i am BF and supplementing it always seems she is satisfied for a short time after BF but then is hungry very quickly.  I might have to just pump and supplement because trying to gauge if she is satiated after BF is not working and it depresses me becaue i love BFing.

Is 5 weeks just to young to expect results on trying to get a schedule down?

i am exhausted and so frustrted.

stacy

[Missy Lou]

i'm going to butt in again. 

stacy - i'm so sorry.  addison ate every 2 hours at 5 weeks.  all day long.  so i understand how hard this is right now.  since i was nursing and her father was working, i was the only one who got up at night.  it was exhausting.  i promise you this gets a lot better.  your DD is so tiny and needs a lot from you.  as she gets older, she'll need a little less (which actually is a bummer when it happens  )

this is a really crazy time because DD is very tiny and needs a lot of help and you are just starting the routine.  it can take time.  addison will be 9 months this week and i'm still working on her routine.  we have to adjust all the time and i have to ask questions all the time. 

what is DD's routine right now?  like when does she wake?  how long is she up?  etc.
melissa

[eliana]

we have yet to get a confirmed wake up - if i i wake her her up at 7 to start the day she is so drowsy that i cant get her to eat or stay awake - i think i have to wait for now until she wakes up ans start from that time - at least for now.

she is not good about eat/activity and then back to sleep, sometimes we eat and she is changed, etc usually in the morning i put her chair and take a quick shower and then try to soothe her to sleep

where she sleeps for like 20 Min's - wakes up hungry

and then the other part of the day that is so challenging is putting her to sleep - she wakes up every 10 Min's for like 2 hours.  i know these are classic sign of overstimulation but i am keeping her home all day for the past week to try and incorporate a schedule.

when i do get her to nap she sleeps forever and sometimes i have the most challenging time to wake her.

Its just so confusing.

[* Paula *]

Stacy,

Have you thought about doing a yield to see what your supply is like?

If your lo is wanting to feed every 2 hours, then try and do a 2 hour EASY, this way she may be getting the calories she is looking for, and still sleeping so she is not getting over stimulated.

I do agree, that the fact that you are battling to get her to sleep at night is because of her being overtired.

I would not wake her in the morning just yet, not until you are settled into a good routine.

HTH

Paula x