Author Topic: I am at my wits' end with feeding my toddler!!!  (Read 3079 times)

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Offline cam621

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I am at my wits' end with feeding my toddler!!!
« on: November 07, 2006, 15:03:12 pm »
Ok, so I keep reading there shouldn't be a battle over food.  I unfortunately, went that route last night because I had it up to here with my dd (16 mo) not even TRYING new things. She just looks at it, observes it with her fingers, then throws it on the floor. That happens with EVERY single new food that is introduced to her.  I am really trying to offer her a variety, but it works to no avail.  So last night, I kind of "put" it in her mouth to at least make her taste it so she can at least make an informed decision.  Needless to say, she totally fought me on it and cried and cried.  I realized I took the wrong approach at that point.  Bad mommy. 

My question is do I just give her what I KNOW she will eat after she refuses the new stuff?  For example, I konw she will eat cheese to her heart's content, but I had given her THREE slices of cheese for a snack that day.  Should I just give her cheese again??  NOt sure how to handle this.  Everyone says "she will eat when she is hungry".  Not my child.  She just won't eat.  Any advice??? 

Thanks in advance!

Offline joaquinsmom

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Re: I am at my wits' end with feeding my toddler!!!
« Reply #1 on: November 07, 2006, 16:35:59 pm »
You are not alone! my toddler is the same! his entire diet consists of pasta with butter, chicken soup, cookies and milk. That is all that he will eat. One day I got him to eat an apple and it was probably the happiest day of my life, that is how obsessed I have become with his eating. Last night I stayed up until 11 P.M. dipping strawberries in chocolate in hopes that the chocolate will lure him into eating some fruit...

I really hope you (we :) ) get some good ideas here!!!
Jennifer

Mom to Mario Joaquí­n
Born on 6/5/04



And Daniella


Offline PeepersMom

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Re: I am at my wits' end with feeding my toddler!!!
« Reply #2 on: November 07, 2006, 16:51:03 pm »
I had a wonderful eater until about a week ago.  At first he started to pretty much refuse dinner = now?  He just refused lunch. I offered mac n cheese he had 1 bite.  Then I offered pb&j and he had about 4 bites, but honestly I don't know if he swallowed any of it.  That is a thing he does.  He puts the food in his mouth and sucks it and chews it and eventually he will spit the little wad out.  All the while I think he is eating and he is opening his mouth for more! so suddenly 1/2 through the meal out come 5 little wads of masticated but not swallowed food.  lovely

Anyway, I know that toddlers do this, but it is very distressing. 

Great one more thing to make me think 'how can he sleep with no food on his stomach?"

I read Child of Mine and basically she says that you should always offer one item of the childs' preference when trying new things and always have bread and butter on the table. So if you know the child doesn't like pork, potatoes and spinach don't serve all those things at once!  give chicken potato and spinach and keep bread and butter available.  And milk at meals/snacks only.

Well, I don't know. Last night he spit out those little wads of bread and butter.  UGH

We need to read 'what did your todder eat today' thread

Meg
Sweet Boy PJ "I'm too excited to sleep!"
DOB 7/28/05
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DOB 1/24/11
Big Boy Miles
DOB 4/29/12

Offline Meg's Mom

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Re: I am at my wits' end with feeding my toddler!!!
« Reply #3 on: November 08, 2006, 17:18:16 pm »
may i recommend the post: support for your picky toddler and what did your PICKY toddler eat today...we hear your pain. I have been there and can say it does get better! 

Offline sandraorion

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Re: I am at my wits' end with feeding my toddler!!!
« Reply #4 on: November 09, 2006, 18:01:14 pm »
I know how frustrating it is when they won't eat and won't try the food.

First, as Meg said, make sure that there is always something she likes at the table and offer things she won't try. Sometimes she might surprise you. Don't make a big deal out of it, but make sure you thank her for trying even if she doesn't like it. And tell her, it's okay to spit it out if she doesn't like it.

Now, that being said, several techniques that work for us to make Adrian try new food. Some of these will be more relevant later, when she is a bit older, but some are appropiate at her age.

- It's more appealing if it comes from my plate/fork - and offer her everything that's on your plate, she might surprise you. Our kid refuses chicken strips, but will happily eat shrimp coctail.

- Make fun names: strawberry candy for dried strawberries, blueberry ice cream for smoothie made with frozen fruit, cordbread made in muffin pan - muffins...

- Adrian is intrigued by sauces and is willing to dip anything into a sauce (katchup, A1, mustard) - actually that's pretty much the only way to get him to eat meat.

- On the similar note, be open to new combinations - like avocado with A1 sauce.

- Sometimes he'll surprise us and ask for something out of blue and will usually love it.

They tend to go through fads, that can last for months. We went through banana, smoothie, egg, cottage cheese, grapes, cheese, Coco puffs, oatmeal, and chocolate milk fads, just to name few. Don't worry if she goes too much on one food at any given time, just be happy that there is a safe bet for dinner. The fad will be gone and she'll move on.

Lastly, they go through phases when they'll barly eat anything, even of the things they love (unless it's candy of course ;). That's okay too, with Adrian it can go for a week or so. Just keep on the same course. In these times, though, I offer an extra snack just before the bedtime, some carckers and milk (current safe bet. :).
Sandra, mom to Adrian - July 30th, 2004 and Nina December 4th, 2007

Offline PeepersMom

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Re: I am at my wits' end with feeding my toddler!!!
« Reply #5 on: November 09, 2006, 19:37:39 pm »
Sandra those are great tips!  Thank you!

I am always hesitant to offer a bedtime snack.  First off dinner and bedtime are pretty close together here so by the time we are done struggling with dinner he is already tired and we are thinking of bed.  I usually do let him graze on milk after dinner until bedtime, though.  That is just about the only time I let him walk around with the sippy of milk.  Water is fine, milk is for meals.??

Another tip to remind everyone - don't look at your childs intake per day or even per meal. Look at it over a 10day period.  PJ eats veggies well - every other week or so.  Fruit is good most of the time, but occasionally it is a no.  But if I step back I can see that there are times when he eats alot of veggies and then nothing for a few days.  So it all evens out in the wash.......

Again, all this advice is from lots of research and classes, but I still sit at the dinner table every night - trying not to let him see my disappointment and frustration as he throws food on the floor, shakes his head no and pushes his milk onto the floor. 

Why does he do this when he is begging for food just before I put him in the chair?  ugh.

Meg
Sweet Boy PJ "I'm too excited to sleep!"
DOB 7/28/05
Jovie love
DOB 1/24/11
Big Boy Miles
DOB 4/29/12

Offline Mom2katiebug

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Re: I am at my wits' end with feeding my toddler!!!
« Reply #6 on: November 09, 2006, 21:40:10 pm »
My DD has refused all of her usuals (which wasn't that broad of a category) and for about 2 weeks has eaten fruity-jarred oatmeal and yogurt for breakfast, lunch and dinner.  It's the only thing she'll eat consistently and she will ever refuse these until I can fight her enough to put a bit on her lip and then she takes a small taste and realizes that it's one of those two things.  I do offer other things, but she just plays with them and they never even make it to her mouth.
"Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you also have an obligation to be one."  - Eleanor Roosevelt

Offline bellasmim

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Re: I am at my wits' end with feeding my toddler!!!
« Reply #7 on: November 10, 2006, 00:43:37 am »
I hear all of you on this topic! 

I have always struggled with my daughter to get her to eat and even though things have improved slightly, her diet is still very limited.  One thing I read that helped was that it takes an average of 10 attempts before a toddler will try a new food.  You litterally have to present a small piece of the new food (along with familiar food) 10 times before you should expect your toddler to even try it  :o

As frustrating and tedious as that sounds, it actually works and it really does take that many attempts.  Once they are familiar with the sight of the food they don't find it so scary and will take a bite. 

Good luck!

Kate



Offline Magscd72

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Re: I am at my wits' end with feeding my toddler!!!
« Reply #8 on: November 21, 2006, 15:11:18 pm »
Im in tears as i post this. Im new here so I hope this is ok to post here.
My 28 month old son, will not eat anything new.  Up until a week ago, he was still eating, puree'd food for most of his meals. Everything we ate, he ate just puree'd! Always refused to eat solids and i dont know why.

He would also eat, Shreddies (cereal), toast, sandwich (with nothing in it) and apple.

Now he is refusing to eat the puree food, so i am left with no option but to try and get him to eat solids for himself.

How? I have read that he should be given small amounts of things he likes (not exactly much choice there) with new things to try. But do i keep putting the same new things with what he likes over and over again or different new things??

He wont even look at food he doesnt know, he screams and refuses to even pick the food up let alone put it near his mouth, so how is he ever going to eat it.

I have asked my health visitor many times about this problem and they only response i got was well at least he is eating something!!!!! great. He is going to become ill if he carries on at this rate.  I am so worried and do not know what to do anymore, surely i cant just keep putting food in front of him, having him refuse to eat it and just leave it like that. Having read the 'what has your toddler eaten today thread' just made things worse because they seem to eat so much compared to mine - even the 'picky' toddlers seem great compared to what mine will eat.

Breakfast today: Half bowl of cereal, 3/4 slice of toast
Lunch:  1 slice of bread and butter
Snack: 1/4 of apple
Dinner will probably be: 1 slice of toast, yoghurt, apple - if we are lucky - if i put anything else on his plate he will refuse to eat the things he does like!

I could give him digestive biscuits as that is the only other thing he will eat but surely that just defeats the object of trying to get him to eat proper food.

Sorry if ive rambled, please help

Offline ryan's mum

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Re: I am at my wits' end with feeding my toddler!!!
« Reply #9 on: November 21, 2006, 15:24:39 pm »
I know exactly where you are coming from , Ryan is exactly the same , we have had issues ever since he started solids .Ryan does have reflux but i don't think all this is reflux related .Our H/V gave us the same advice she also said that i offer the food he will eat and something new on the plate , if he doesn't eat much or any of it , i bin it and don't offer anything else , no snacks either untill the next meal .The idea is they get v hungry and will eat the next meal .This approach didn't wotrk for Ryan , he would rather not eat , he's the same that he won't touch a new food so chances of it getting in his mouth are slim  ::)  if i try and put it in his mouth he will either protest or gag .We have had a little success recently in that he sometimes chews a food but not swallow it .
 Ryan won't eat veg,pasta,fruit or rice .He loves sausages and can live on them , we have just recently had success with waffle but he has to be in the mood for it .Everytime we ask about his eating issues we get told he looks healthy and his weight is fine , yes i agree his weight is fine because he lives on junk biscuits , crisps e.t.c now even if i don't give these in a day the eating is no better .I also asked about vitamins as i heard these can increase the appetite and supplement for not eating the fruits and veg , our pead said he didn't need them as he was a healthy colour and his weight was fine .I had to battle for a nutritionist referal and we are currently on a waiting list , i'm hoping to get the help i need to encourage Ryan to eat and try new foods .It could be behaviuoral or down to the pain he was in when the reflux was bad but still i need guidance .
 You are not going through this alone .I too wish Ryan would eat some of the foods that the picky eaters eat .Eating off my plate is a NO no too .
[img width= height=]http://tac.families.com/tickers/tdb.php?tid=1032165&ignore=1[/img]Ryan James 9 Nov 2003

[img width= height=]http://lafemmebonita.com/blinkies//Pregnancy%20and%20Babies/ILoveMySon.gif[/img]

son , I may have silver in my hair but you are the gold in my heart .

Offline Magscd72

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Re: I am at my wits' end with feeding my toddler!!!
« Reply #10 on: November 21, 2006, 15:52:18 pm »
Thank you for reassuring me that i am not alone with this problem.

Up until a week ago I was worried that he would only ever eat puree'd food, which while very healthy as he always had plenty of veggies, albeit he didnt know it, had me wondering if he would ever eat properly.

Now i wish I could go back to that worry. Im now so worried that he must be soo hungry, and he doesnt understand why.

I guess i just try and introduce one new food at a time, maybe in a few weeks when he is starving he might take a nibble :(

Offline Mom2katiebug

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Re: I am at my wits' end with feeding my toddler!!!
« Reply #11 on: November 21, 2006, 16:48:16 pm »
I really don't have any advice, just wanted to post some hugs for you Magscd72.  My DD is picky but seems to still eat her core foods (which are purees and yogurt).  If/When she refuses those, I'll be in your exact position.  And, I can relate to not even trying new foods.  If there's something different on her tray or I sneak a bite of something new in and she doesn't like it (and almost all hte time she doesn't), then she won't eat the foods that she does like. 

At most meals I have to fight her - like physical block her hands - and just get some of her "okay foods" on her lips and then she'll taste it and realize that it's something that she does eat and will then (usually) eat a bit for me. 

Was reading in Dr. Spock's book and he recommended that you offer a small amount of food and let your LO ask for (aka demand) more and then the "battle" over food shifts from the parent pushing food and the toddler resisiting to the toddler demanding food and "winning the battle" so to speak.  Not sure if this will work with my LO as she would probably be content to eat 2 cereal bits as a meal and go about her day!  She eats really well during her growth spurts which is SO nice and it fools me into thinking the battle may be over, but then we go back to normal in a few days...
"Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you also have an obligation to be one."  - Eleanor Roosevelt

Offline Tonya

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Re: I am at my wits' end with feeding my toddler!!!
« Reply #12 on: November 21, 2006, 16:58:52 pm »
My ds will pick one food at a time, and that's basically all he will eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner.  We went on almost a year spurt ( :o) of chicken nuggets and green beans.
He has just come off a 6 month (or more!) spurt of waffles only...for all 3 meals. ::)
He will NOT eat anything new...won't put anything to his mouth either. ::)

We DO give vitamins...our ped prescribes them to all toddlers, knowing how they eat.  But I make NO fights over food anymore.  He won't eat fruits or veggies at all anymore...he does occasionally eat strawberry flavored applesauce, and will eat the Gerber's dried fruits.

I just buy all yummy snacks (at least, as many as I can) from Gerber's and other brands that fortify with extra vitamins and minerals.  So, if all he eats all day is cheerios, at least I know they have vitamins in them.

I know how worrisome it is..but you simply CANNOT make them eat.  I've gotten the comment "he'll eat when he's hungry" from well meaning people SOOOOO many times...and it's true, he will....as long as it's the one food he's chosen for that time period.  Otherwise, he WILL NOT eat, and I can't force him to.  As long as he's getting his vitamins and still drinking milk, I feel ok about it now.  It's not something I can control....you just have to relinquish the battle.

Tonya
Mom to Nathan - "Chunky Butternut", 02/18/04
           Madison - "Princess Pea", 11/29/06


Offline Mom to M&M

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Re: I am at my wits' end with feeding my toddler!!!
« Reply #13 on: November 21, 2006, 17:12:36 pm »
Don't really have anything to add but am in same exact boat.... :-\
Karen: Proud Mama to Marisa (8-11-05) and Matthew (6-5-09) and happily married to my best friend and love of my life since 10-13-01

Offline shelliz

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Re: I am at my wits' end with feeding my toddler!!!
« Reply #14 on: November 22, 2006, 01:14:33 am »
I am in that same boat as well!  Hugs to all of us well-meaning mommas and picky toddlers!

Long live gerber fruit puffs!