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Actually this all sounds familiar!!
I was breastfeeding my DD and always had trouble trying to get her to take enough, and she used to have the worst wind imaginable!! As in a night feed could be over in 10 mins, but it could take 20 to 30 mins to get the wind out of her - I could hear it and feel it in her tummy. I asked loads of people what it could be - at one stage I thought it might have been due to incorrect latching (although it never hurt) but it was only when she got a tummy bug at around 4 months and all she could or would drink was Dioralyte, that I cottoned on that the milk was the problem. She might drink 4 ounces of expressed milk or formula with a lot of coaxing, but downed 9 ozs of Diorolyte in one go. So I put her on lactose free formula and she was fine after that.
BUT now I am trying to see whether she might be ok to go back on dairy so am giving her yoghurt also - and am too noticing that her sleep is more and more disturbed!! So I am going to have to go back a step again I think!! And I wonder if the behavioural problems you are having might be because her sleep is disturbed?? She might be cranky because of broken sleep - as I always am (and have been for the last couple of YEARS!!!)
Hope I haven't hijacked your thread.......!!!