NO ROUTINE, PLEASE HELP!!

[Grace's Mom]

Grace was always great with routine.  It was close to perfect when it came to predicting naps, etc.  Well, she turned 6 months (a little over 1 month ago) and EVERY thing changed.  It was a really rough month....long story.  Here is a brief version....She started waking 2 hours early, napping for 30 minutes...vicious cycle of being overtied (very tired and frustrated mommy).  Well, we started to adjust somethings and she started to sleep in a bit longer, so the night time issue was 'fixed.'  We were still having short naps but she just would not stay awake longer.  At this time, as her naps couldn't get any worse, we weaned the swaddle (piece of cake surprisingly).  Her naps began to lengthen and we were so excited as we thought we were on our way to a routine again.  Well, she then started pooping with in the first 15-40 minutes of her first nap and being a spirited baby would not go back to sleep even if she was tired.  She is always just ready for her next A time....2 or more hours before her next feed and with the short naps she can only stay awake 2 hours before becoming over tired.   Through out the rest of the day she ranges from 30 minute 1.75 hour naps.  It is never really the same and some days we even have 4 naps  just to get her through to bed time. 

I am at a loss.  Today she didn't poop during her first nap for the first time in like 2 weeks but she still woke and then was awake for a little over 2 hours and then only slept for an hour. So. it is not even 12:00 yet and she has had two naps. 

How do I fix this?  How do I get her back on a routine?  Do I just need to continue to follow her and put her down 2-2.5 hours after she last woke.  It leave for little predictability. I am at a loss and LOVE routine so this has been hard on me but a good lesson on being more relaxed iykwim. 

If you need any additional information please let me know.

Melissa

[* Paula *]

Melissa,

Hugs, I am sorry you are going through such a rough time.

Is your lo doing anything developmentally at the moment?  This could be affecting nap times and sleep times.

Can you post us a detailed routine of what a typical day looks like.

Paula x

[Grace's Mom]

This craziness has been going on for about 5-6 weeks now (maybe more) and with in that time she has had a few milestones occur....trying to crawl, teething (1st tooth at 5 months), sitting (at 5 months), rolling (since 4 months), etc.  However because it has been going on for such a long time I don't know that they are causing these things but could be aiding the problem iykwim.  She use to be 100% angel baby/textbook now she is pretty much all spirited, which I think could be a huge part of what has changed. 

Routine....we pretty much feed at 6/6:30, 10/10:30, 2/2:30 and then around 5:30 (split feed before and after bath).  Naps occur 2-2.75 hours after she last woke (usuall 2:15ish) so it all depends on when she woke in the morning.  That determines when her first nap is. Then when she wakes from her first nap that will then determine when her second nap occurs, and so on.  Sometimes it is a 3 nap day sometimes it is a 4 nap day....4 nap day like today because she was up at 5am for the day....only needs 11 hours of sleep at night so if she is asleep at 6pm she is up at 5    Craziness, I know.

She normally has a 30 minute or so nap in the morning then she sleeps for about 1-1.5 hour or less and then a 30 or so 'cat nap'.  She needs so much more as she is tired shortly after waking.  No matter how long or short her A time is (we really follow her cues so not to get her overtired) the nap times vary.  And again, the morning nap is cut off by poop almost 100% of the time so that is a huge factor.  Today she pooped during her 3rd nap and the first two were each an hour. 

So confusing.  I apologize. 

Thanks.
Melissa

[* Paula *]

Wow it definitely sounds like she has been through it at the moment - all those developmental things happening one after each other.  That could definitely have a lot to do with it all.

Do you think that she may be ready to go to 2 naps?  I know on early waking days she will need a little extra, but am thinking that cause she is having short cat naps could mean that she is ready to drop a nap.

I know that her pooping during her naps can really cause problems, and unfortunately we cannot time those things

[Grace's Mom]

I would Love for her to go to two naps however she can't stay awake long enough to do so.  2.25 hours max for her first A time and the most I have gotten from her is a 1 hour nap after that, then she can usually stay awake 2.50-2.75 for her next A time and then another 1 hour nap....just not long enough for 2 naps unfortunately  )  For the past 3 days I have been gradually lengthening her A time (by about 10 minutes) and she is still sleeping very little (totaled just under 2.50 hours of naps yesterday (a 14 hour day) and only got 10 hours of night sleep the night before).  That is the other probelms we have been having.  For the past week each day she wakes up earlier and earlier...today it was 4:30am  ...not good.  Rolling and fussing.  After about 30 minutes I gave her some Tylenol and offered her some water (she can go over 12 hours with out a feed now) and she wiggled, fussed, cried on and off for another 45 minutes.  I don't hear her right now so I think she may have dozed back off.  I feel like all I can do now is just go with the flow and try to keep her up more little by little and just pray that her naps lengthen and we get to 2 naps....it seems like no matter how long she is awake or how little she is awake her nap times vary from day to day.  No consistency.  I guess it goes with being spirited.  One of the mom's on the spirited club just suggested that she have shorter A times as that goes along with being spirited, especially with the first A time....do 2 hour A time, 2.50 hour A time and then 3 hours.  What do you think?

-The past 2 days she has not pooped during a nap and they went from 30 minutes to just under an hour and I also slightly lengthened her A time so that was at least a little better.

My goal is to just lengthen her naps, while lengthening her A time and getting her to sleep till at least 6:30....5:30/4:30 are just not acceptable.  Can't do w2s as there is not exact time she is waking....every day it changes. 

Thanks so much.  I just feel so at a loss.  I have been trying to figure this all out for what seems like an eternity and as one thing kind of fixes another thing goes and then we are bake to square one.  I know, just breathe....trying not to stress and for me I am actually doing very well.  Just want my baby to fully thrive and get the good sleep she needs. It is especially hard because I talk daily with all the other mom's on the March/April 2006 birth club (who are all absolutely amazing women) and not all, but most of the babies are on an amazing routine, staying awake up to 3/3.5 hours, taking 2 naps, going to bed at 7:30 waking at 7am, etc. and that is what I want so badly.  I know I shouldn't compare but we were almost there and then milestones and the time changed occurred and our world turned up side down.

Sorry for rambling.  Just had to tell someone.  Thanks again.

[* Paula *]

Melissa,

Hugs, I know how hard it can be.

Now that I think about it - although my DS is not spirited, when he was around the age of your DD, he could not manage a very long A time first thing in the morning.  He was awake at 7:00am, and was usually back in bed for 8:30 / 8:45 for his first nap.  He would then go down for another nap around 12:00 ish, and then again at around 2:45 / 3:00pm. 

It might be worth a try to put her to bed a little earlier first thing in the morning, as they do say that their first nap is an extension of their night time sleep.  See how that goes, and then take it from there.

The only way you are going to know what suits you and your DD is to follow her cues and let her tell you when she is ready to go down.

She could also be teething - this can also be the reason that nap times / night time sleep is not the greatest at the moment.

Paula x