going crazy...want to start EASY for 1 week old...please help!

[marina13]

i read the book, and saw the sample EASY schedule on these boards for a 4 week old (our LO seems to be basically on a 3 hour schedule), and thought i'd try implementing it for Wes since we're having a bit of a rough go.  i have some questions about EASY in general i was hoping someone could PLEASE answer:

- according to the book, i'm supposed to put baby down for a nap, which could take about 15-20 minutes for him to fall asleep.  am i supposed to let him cry himself to sleep?  do i use a pacifier?

- before today, i would feed him all in one shot (he would basically nurse only on one side for about 15 min, then fall asleep right away).  the EASY schedule appears to be more intermittent (the whole EA time is set for feeding, diapering, playing, etc.).  how am i supposed to keep him awake long enough to set him asleep for the schedule?  it's pretty much impossible for us to do.  also, how do you get a sleeping baby to suckle for a dreamfeed?  i don't get that.

- am i supposed to be waking him up from sleep to feed him, or do i let him wake on his own?  also, how do i force a baby to eat when he's not necessarily hungry at the schedule time?


we're starting this morning, and he's supposed to be working on his second nap, but he's been up crying for a half hour instead of sleeping.  we think that his night and day clocks are switched, but we don't know how to change that.  i'm at my wits end - i don't know what to do.   

[Samuel's mum]

At only one week old I would say that you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself. At this stage you are both just learning about each other (and in BW it's actually really important you take time to learn his cries and his cues and his natural patterns.)

Early EASY just means trying to insert a small gap between feeding and sleeping to try and encourage him not to actually fall asleep on the boob.

am i supposed to let him cry himself to sleep?

At this age he has not idea he is a separate person or much of an idea about anything. I would encourage you to learn ways to offer comfort like using a method called pat/shush.

I wouldn't try and keep him awake artificially. Nor would I suggest you wake him at a certain time at only 1 week old. Just give yourself at least a couple more weeks to see what his natural patterns are. Experiment with other comfort techniques like pat/shush and have a go at putting that mini-activity after a feed. But at one week I wouldn't put your expectations too high. Look after yourself and enjoy these moments. Plenty of people take the first few weeks to learn about their babies and their cues and worry about formal EASY a little later - ideally slotting it into their baby's natural rhythms. I think there's a reason that first 'schedule' isn't until 4 weeks. The EASY newborn FAQ does talk about starting EASY when you get home from hospital but that can literally mean a quick nappy change after feed and before sleep.

Have a read of this:
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=64627.0

Just take time to observe, record what's happening and cherish him! Everyone 'has a rough go' at one week. A basic 3 -hr schedule is really good. Breastfed babies often seem to start feeding more frequently than that in my experience. Your mature milk is still transitioning in - it's such early days!!

P.S as for using a pacifier - that's your choice. Some people prefer to leave it a little longer to check baby's latch and feeding technique is well established (that's often the recommendation from breastfeeding professionals). Others don't have any problems introducing one early on.

[marina13]

Thank you soo much, it is really comforting for a first time mother like to have others out there to help.  I think I will try and tackle one problem at a time.  My biggest "problem" that I have right now is what you mentioned below.  During the day everytime I feed him he falls asleep by the end of the feeding and as basically in a breast milk coma.  Is this a bad thing?  Are there techniques to keep him awake during feeding?  I don't remember reading anything in the book about that.

EDIT: I just read your posted link and I think it answers my question.  It sounds like it is saying that I will basically need to let the baby determine it's own schedule for now?   Do I feed the baby if he is hungry an hour after I breastfeed?  I assume that if he hasn't eaten for 3 hours I should try and feed him?

Early EASY just means trying to insert a small gap between feeding and sleeping to try and encourage him not to actually fall asleep on the boob.

[RachelC]

What you are experiencing is so normal for this age.  Check out this thread (again in the breast feeding FAQs)

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=63428.0

That has some techniques at the bottom for keeping him awake (but don't stress if they don't work, it's very early in the game!).

Welcome to the boards and congrats on your little one! 

[Grace's Mom]

My lo, now 7 months old slept about 20 hours a day for the first month or so.  She was a big sleepy head.  We were suggested by our Dr. to feed her every three hours (did not find this site/book until after 2 months).  I was stressed out soooo much because she would be sleeping and it would be 'time' to eat and I would try and try to wake her.  NOTHING worked.  She just would not wake, would eat for 5 minutes and be done.  Eventually she woke up more and more and now things are so different.  Some of the things we tried....taking off all her clothes (leaving just a diaper), bringing her out side/inside, etc.  Talking to her, singing to her.  We even got desperate once and tried putting something cold on her feet....still didn't wake up. I would just keep trying but not worry too much until a few weeks go by.  Right now they just want to sleep and that is ok.  They are so new to this big world of ours iykwim.  So precious.

I wish I had enjoyed these early weeks more but I was following a different book at the time, Baby Wise, and it stressed me out beyond believe as I was told to have her on a schedule by week 2.  It didn't give me techniques for putting our baby to sleep like this book does and such.  Looking back I wish I would have known about Baby Whisperer.  Enjoy this time you have and try not to stress too much.  I know that can be hard but they are only new borns for so long.  Best of luck and congratulations.

Melissa

[Samuel's mum]

before today, i would feed him all in one shot (he would basically nurse only on one side for about 15 min, then fall asleep right away).

I was actually coming back to post again so it's funny you've already been here. I was thinking about this comment you made. You should still feed him 'in one shot'. Even if it means he's sleepy at the end (and as you've seen that's really normal with your high levels of the sleepy hormone oxytocin so soon after birth). You want him to try and feed for as long as possible so your breasts and his tummy get used to the idea of a full feed. You don't want to keep stopping and starting if you can avoid it. The effects of oxytocin are less severe after a couple of weeks and you'll find he's gradually more 'awake'.

Do I feed the baby if he is hungry an hour after I breastfeed?  I assume that if he hasn't eaten for 3 hours I should try and feed him?

The first couple of weeks is one big growth spurt. He is getting your milk supply built up. If you think he might be hungry - pause, look at his body language, think about what he is telling you. On a growth spurt it's possible he might be hungry again before 3 hours, in which case feed him. But just take a moment and consider could he be tired or overstimulated or something else first.

And I also wanted to mention swaddling. It's great way for a young baby to feel secure and help them fall asleep without boob.

When it comes to reading specific timings of routines on the site or in the books remember they are just examples of what works for one baby. Unlike some other 'baby philosophies' Tracy doesn't say it's 10.35 so X must be happening for all babies of this age. Routines are there so you can see what has worked for other people and play around with your own routine but it's not set in stone. BW emphasises the fact all babies are individuals and respecting them as individuals and learning their 'communication' is the key. Trust your mummy instincts and enjoy!

P.S Do get the books if you haven't already. The 'solves all your problems' is very practical the 'secrets of a BW' gives you a real feel for the philosophy of listening to your LO.

It sounds like it is saying that I will basically need to let the baby determine it's own schedule for now?

Basically yes. Your first EASY routine should come out of his natural patterns. If you are breastfeeding encourage him to take full feeds and work on that gap between feeding and sleep as much as hormones will allow.

One more thing, try to avoid him sleeping big blocks in the day. I would consider waking him if he looks like he's going 3.5 hours between feeds. You want to make sure those longer intervals happen at night. As the PP says it's not always easy so look for his natural stirring as he moves into a lighter part of the sleep cycle.