cry-quiet-cry-quiet-cry -- should I PU/PD??

[cubamerimex]

This scenario happens a lot, when my 5.5-mo napper wakes up from his nap after only 30-45 min. TYpically, he will wake, coo and play, then cry briefly, then quiet himself briefly, then cry briefly, then quiet briefly over and over. The cries will increase with intensity but not necessarily duration. And here's me: totally distracted and paralyzed with indecision at the bottom of the steps. I think: Is it a mantra cry? (I don't think so.) Is it a fussy cry? (Maybe, but I don't think so.) Is it a cry for help? (Yes, I think so.) So like all mamas with their hearts tugged so strongly, I go dashing up the steps. At the top, panting, I pause: Quiet. So I go back down. At the bottom: Crying. I dash back up. At the top: Quiet. I go back down. Over and over and over.

Now, while I'm sure this is a good cardiovascular workout for me, and heaven knows I need it, I'm not sure what to do. I have been guilty (oh, so very guilty) of rushing in too quickly. A bit of history: In Sept., ds1 and ds2 went back to school, and the sort-of schedule we had for poor ds3 (then 3 mo) went completely haywire, such that by mid-Oct, he would only nap in the carseat and only briefly at that, and was waking repeatedly in the night. Desperate, I knew I needed a system but I was too sleep-deprived to figure it out myself (and why reinvent the wheel anyway?), so I went to the library to fetch Dr. Ferber's book. It was checked out -- but I was determined not to leave the library without something in hand, so I pulled "The Baby Whisperer solves all your problems" off the shelf. (I liked the sound of that title.) Well. What a stroke of luck. It took a solid week of labor-intensive work by DH and me -- and finally DH banned me to the guest room so I wouldn't keep rushing in -- but now ds3 is sleeping 11 to 11.5 hours at night! WHOO HOO!!!!

But short naps remain a problem. So about the cry-quiet-cry-quiet -- any advice?  When I finally do say, "OK, this is really it! THis is a real cry! I'm going in!" I do PU/PD and shush-pat, but oh-so-rare will I succeed in putting him back to sleep before naptime is done and it's time to eat. OR....On the occasions when I think -- "I'm not going to let him get the crying intensified, because I think that wakes him up too much, I will go in early and send him back to dreamland" -- I find him happy, smiling at me, cooing, not looking very sleepy at all, particularly in the morning. Please, please, I really hope he's NOT one of those who just doesn't need more sleep! Eeeeeeeek -- ds2 was that way. Nearly drove me crazy.

Our baby, basically a happy mellow fellow, is on a 4-hr EASY schedule --
wake/eat 7 a.m.  -- 7 oz formula + 1 T rice cereal
activity
sleep 9 or 9:15 -- but waking up after 30-45 min
eat 11 a.m. -- 7 oz formula + 2 T rice cereal
activity
sleep 1 pm -- but waking up after 30-45 min
eat 3 pm -- 7 oz formula + 2 T rice cereal
activity
catnap 5 or 5:30 -- 30 min
eat 7 pm -- 7-8 oz formula
bath
bed 7:30 to 8 pm

Thanks for your thoughts.

[Lucas & Mum]

LOL - KWYM about standing there holding breath thinking do i go in to try to settle or shall i wait - and if i wait will that make him more upset, and will that make it harder to resettle him  and will that.....
All i can say is go with your instinct.  i always go to LO when he is really crying, you can tell the difference when they are really upset, but when he's mumbling or mantra crying i try to hold off as much as i can - sometimes he sorts himself out & goes back to sleep himself, other times i have to go and get him but he is usually smiling or laughing when i go in to him and doesn't normally seems tired and i have never been able to get him to go back to sleep if he has had 45 min and woken!!

Others I have spoken to on support thread for 45 min nappers have told me they go in as soon as their LO cries and shush pat them back to sleep - hasn't worked fro me (yet) but may be something you could try
You may also want to reduce the amount of wake time between naps as your LO is only having 45 min naps he may struggle with being awake for 2+ hours and this may lead to more overtiredness, thus making naps short, thus leading to more overtiredness etc etc etc.
Check out the support thread for 45 min nappers for more advice on this

Oh, and at the cost of sounding like a heartless mother - I've got new phillips digital monitors that you can turn sensitivity down on as well as sound so they don't wake you is baby is talking to themselves, only when crying - has save me a few nights sleep - may save you from being banished to guest room!

[GG]

I'm having problems with naps with my dd as well, so I know what you mean. It's like, I know what I need to do (I did it with ds) but she's decided she doesn't want to follow in her brother's footsteps. *lol*  She also wakes up early from her naps and, when I try to extend the naps, she looks at me as if to say, "Hi! What are you trying to do? *smile*"

Can you tell us, what temperament is your ds?

[nikkik]

You made me laugh - i did the same thing - up and down the stairs nearly all day long.  My DD is 5.5 mo too and we were just in the same boat.  It really depends on the cry that they're doing and you can tell if they need you.  Sometimes, i left her to babble and mantra cry and she'd fall back to sleep for 1 1/2 hours - bliss!  Other times I'd rush up there at the first peep and I'd shush/pat her back to sleep.  The older she gets the less intervention works best.  She seems to get more worked up if i go in there now so i usually just leave her and she eventually falls back to sleep.  Good luck!  it will work out! 

[GG]

The older she gets the less intervention works best.  She seems to get more worked up if i go in there

Yes!! Drives me batty, especially when I think it's a burp that needs to be released but it isn't. Then I feel like kicking myself for rushing in.