Author Topic: HELP!!! 7 week old DD HATES the car  (Read 3264 times)

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Offline Sungrl

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HELP!!! 7 week old DD HATES the car
« on: November 15, 2006, 05:24:47 am »
Well, I’m just sitting here having a bit of a breakdown and I need some advice. 

I'm having a problem with my 7 week old Zoey in the car.  Zoey is a very happy, very easy baby who I thought was an Angel baby, a wee bit of Spirited until now...however, the few times Zoey has had a full out meltdown, she was in the car (or in the bath but that is a whole other post).  She is usually fine for a while; either sitting content looking at the toy hanging from the carseat handle, or sleeping, but at some point will usually end up crying.  If I am with DH, I will sit in the back and can usually pacify her with a soother or holding her hand, etc.  If I am alone and this happens, in the past I have pulled over and taken her out and changed her, nursed her, whatever (didn't always work).  A few times I was close to home so I just let her cry and she was fine once we got home. 

Today started out great.  Zoey had a 3 hour nap this morning and when she woke she was so happy; smiling all morning, almost laughing even!  After a few hours she took a 40 minute nap and seemed a bit fussy (like she hadn’t slept enough), but I fed her and she was fine again.  Then I got to thinking that I should be taking her out more.  I am supposed to go to meet some coworkers (who have not seen her) on Thursday and I have 3 different outings next week; at least 3 of these things I will be doing alone. I worry so much about her having a meltdown when I am alone that I felt like I was avoiding going anywhere lately...and since I have a few outings alone coming up I thought I should take her out.  So, after another nap (only 30 minutes) DH decided to come along and we all went to the grocery store about 10 minutes away.  Zoey was perfectly fine on the way there and fussed a bit in the store but we managed to keep her pacified with her soother the whole time we shopped (about an hour).  As we were pulling out she spit out the soother and started to cry.  DH suggested I get in the back but I told him I didn’t want to since I would need to take her out alone and wouldn’t be able to get in the back to calm her.  So, she cried…she SCREAMED…she gagged...she freaked out the whole way home (again only about 5-10 minutes). 

I managed to live through that without getting myself too upset… and then we got home.  She was ok for a minute as we got in the door and I got my coat off… but then she started up again.  I took her out of the seat and she continued to SCREAM.  I held her and rocked her and bounced her and did everything I could think of and she still SCREAMED (turning purple and all)!!!  I took her upstairs and tried to nurse her…she refused to eat and still screamed.  I changed her diaper while she gagged and cried real tears and freaked out like that.  Finally, I swaddled her and rocked her and she fell asleep.

MIL came over for dinner and Zoey slept for about 40 minutes while we ate.  She then woke up and started the screaming all over again!!!!  I tried nursing again and she would not eat.  DH was able to get her settled a bit by bouncing her but any time we stopped or whatever she’d start again, but not just that fussy cry they do…this was the hysterical SCREAMING.  So, again I swaddled her and rocked her to sleep, and this time I just held her while she slept. She woke at about 8pm and I was able to keep her somewhat settled with the soother as I changed her, etc and got her bottle ready.  I took her and the bottle down to DH to feed her and she started again and refused to eat (it was now like 6 hours since she had last eaten!!).  We finally managed to get her to take the bottle by holding her upright on DH's shoulder while I held the bottle to her, etc.  She only drank about 1 oz.  She continued this screaming as I took her upstairs and after a bunch of struggle I FINALLY got her to nurse… she then seemed fine so I changed her and tried the other side… and she started AGAIN!  I managed to get her to take a bit more and then swaddled her and spent the last 45 minutes trying to get her to sleep (and stay asleep)!!!!

I am now terrified to go out on Thursday…not to mention worried about what tonight is going to be like (will she stay asleep?  Will she wake up SCREAMING in the middle of the night?).  I don’t understand why she was so worked up like this ALL NIGHT after a simple trip to the grocery store!  It seemed like she was totally overtired but she really shouldn’t have been that tired or upset by the whole thing.  I’m freaked and I don’t want to become a shut-in but I don’t want to deal with this for hours on end just because I take her out someplace!  DH and I haven't taken her out too much in the last 2 weeks or so, but in the past she was so easy to take places and we did all the time (of course I would always get in the back with her if she was fussy).  We did take her to a 1 year old's birthday party on Sunday and she did just fine...she just slept in the car all the way home and slept for 3 hours when we got home.  The last time I took her out alone she screamed in the car but was fine once we got home… I don’t know what to do.  :'(

Sorry this is so long and rambling… DH just doesn’t get how I feel and my mother would just laugh at me and say “oh babies do that dear”, so I really feel all alone right now in this.  I don't want to avoid going anywhere as I really feel bored and restless if we stay in for too many days at a time.  I am now DREADING going anywhere with her alone... :'(  Does anyone have any suggestions or words of wisdom??  I do realize it's fairly common for babies to cry in the car...but for HOURS afterwards?? 

Shannon


Offline Erin M

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Re: HELP!!! 7 week old DD HATES the car
« Reply #1 on: November 15, 2006, 19:56:10 pm »
Hey Shannon-
Wow, not sure what got her so upset there.  I'm guessing it had to be something other than the car that got her that upset (I would think at least!) - like the PP said, maybe one of the straps was too tight?  I managed to get some of DD's skin caught in a buckle once on her stroller (wow, did I feel bad about that) and couldn't understand why she was crying so hard over nothing - maybe something else happened that you didn't see. 

We had a hard time in the car too at first, but eventually she got used to it.  I think the key is to continue going out (just plan short trips if you're worried) and eventually she will get used to the car.

In the meantime, maybe her tummy was hurting -- I really think there has to be some other explanation for her screaming other than the car. 

Hope she's doing better now!

Offline Sungrl

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Re: HELP!!! 7 week old DD HATES the car
« Reply #2 on: November 17, 2006, 17:57:31 pm »
Thanks for the replies...

Dree - I watched Oprah and found it very interesting.  The thing with Zoey in the car is that she just starts screaming...there is no "pre cry".  Also, Zoey always makes the "eh eh" noise (all day), whether she is hungry or tired or needs to burp (which is what Priscilla Dunstan said this means). 

I too thought Zoey was strapped in too tight in the past and have loosened the straps.  The day this happened, she was in the car seat from the time we left the house (did fine all the way there) and in the grocery store for an hour, and then she had the meltdown on the way home so I think if it was the straps she would have freaked out sooner than that. 

I try to keep Zoey on EASY but we are battling 40 minute naps right now so it is hard.  She eats every 2.5-3 hours.  I don't think she eats much as when I give her a bottle she usually only will take 2-3 oz (even if there is more in the bottle) and when I pump I only get about that much.  She is at least 10.5 pounds now from 7 pounds 3 oz at birth though, so she's gaining weight well.
 
I do think the timing was bad the other day, she likely got hungry before we headed home, etc...but yesterday I took her out and the same thing happened.  She'd slept for 1.5 hours and I had just fed her so she should have been fine...but about 15 minutes into the ride she started to cry (I was even IN the back with her and she wouldn't stop) and then cried hysterically for an hour at my office where I took her to meet my old coworkers.   :(  I am now dreading taking her anywhere because it seems to upset her for quite some time afterwards!  I've told my mother about this but for some reason she has asked me to drive downtown on Sunday to pick her up from the bus station (she went on a short trip) and then drive her and her girlfriend home to the other side of the city, and then I would have to go back home to my place 30 minutes away from there!  I feel sick just thinking about it.

The one thing I do think may be an issue is that she seems to get awfully hot in the car in her winter coat.  Yesterday her head was all wet when she was crying and on the way home I took her coat right off and she didn't cry at all.  Not sure how to deal with that when we have to get into the cold car though and then later she becomes hot.  I will experiment with this.

Shannon


Offline Erin M

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Re: HELP!!! 7 week old DD HATES the car
« Reply #3 on: November 17, 2006, 18:07:05 pm »
Shannon - throw some blankets on her, or get one of those bundle me things that you put in the car seat -- they look like this:

http://www.toysrus.com/search/index.jsp?kwCatId=&kw=bundle%20me&origkw=bundle%20me&f=Taxonomy/TRUS/2255957

The fleece one will keep her nice and warm and you can unzip it and take the top part off once the car warms up.  Also, really good for going to stores, since you can just unzip when you're in the store and zip back up when you leave.  If it's really cold (you're in Alberta I think - Michelle's in my birth club I know she is and I know she sees you so I'm assuming you are too!), you can stick a blanket underneath the fleece and remove layers when she warms up.

You're right, doesn't sound like the straps would be a problem, nor the eating issue.  EASY is tough when naps are short -- I had tons of trouble with DD1 in the early days and anticipate it again with DD2.  She's gaining weight well, so you're right in not worrying about how much she's eating. 

I hope something works out soon, it's so hard when they cry like that :(

Offline Sungrl

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Re: HELP!!! 7 week old DD HATES the car
« Reply #4 on: November 18, 2006, 04:27:36 am »
Thanks girls,

Erin M - I am going to get one of those bundle things for the carseat... I have been meaning to and now I think it's a must.

Dree - I actually did give Zoey Ovol drops yesterday when I went out with her and she still cried...but I do think she was overheated.  I hope so anyway.

Stacy - thanks for the reply.  I can't imagine not going out... as it is I feel a bit like a shut in and we get out at least once a week.  For the first 6 weeks of Zoey's life she WAS that baby you see in restaurants.  I could take her to the mall wide awake and she'd fall sleep in the stroller and we could be out for hours and hours.  Sometimes, I would rock her to sleep before we were to leave somewhere and then was able to stick her in the seat and she'd sleep in the car, or I could even put her in there car awake and she would fall asleep on her own in the car.  I'm not sure if she would do that now...ever since the 40 minute naps started she's just all mixed up.  She doesn't normally nap for 3 hours but since she's been battling the 40 minute naps I let her sleep however long she wants when she makes it past that 40 minute mark.  I'm kind of of the belief that one should never wake a sleeping baby...but I suppose if it helps with the car issue I'd be willing to do almost anything!

I think we were out too long... or what I should have done was try to pick her up and get her to sleep in the grocery store, and then put her back in the seat asleep.  Next time I will try that.

Shannon
Shannon



Offline Sungrl

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Re: HELP!!! 7 week old DD HATES the car
« Reply #5 on: November 18, 2006, 16:35:54 pm »
Hi Dree - I am breastfeeding.  I'm sorry breastfeeding didn't work out for you, that must have been hard.  I am also one of the unfortunate ones who got my period early; only 7 weeks PP (my best friend was 12 months PP), but thankfully it didn't affect breastfeeding at all.  I have to give Zoey a bottle of EBM once a day with medication in it (otherwise she won't take the meds) and have always given it before bed, but the last week or so she has started to reject a bottle!  It's a problem because she's not getting her medication now.  Even once when we were out and there was no medication in the bottle she still wouldn't drink from it, it so it's not that the meds affect the taste or something...I'm not sure what to do!  Is this common?!?!?

I hope Zoey is going through a growth spurt because suddenly she is waking twice in the night to eat instead of once (since she was 1 week old) and if it's not a growth spurt I sure hope it doesn't become a habit!!!

It's very hard to follow EASY because Zoey will have 2 good naps per day (if that) and the rest are 40 minutes long.  I try to extend them or get her back down, and usually she is just wide awake and happy as can be....although sometimes she is grumpy and crying so I will do whatever I can to get her to sleep longer.  I have also tried putting her to bed earlier, but she won't stay asleep.  I'm at a loss as far as this nap thing goes (I've tried everything).

Shannon


Offline Lana

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Re: HELP!!! 7 week old DD HATES the car
« Reply #6 on: November 18, 2006, 17:41:58 pm »
Shannon

Can you post your routine for us with nap time and length? 


Offline Erin M

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Re: HELP!!! 7 week old DD HATES the car
« Reply #7 on: November 18, 2006, 17:52:18 pm »
Shannon, if it makes you feel any better, we had 40 minute naps here until Katie was about 4 months old and then they got sorted out - probably a combination of all the extending I was trying to do and her getting old enough to self-soothe better - then she put herself back to sleep when she woke at 40 minutes.

The waking twice sounds like a growth spurt.  Posting your schedule will help.

As for bottles, persistence was the key for us.  Katie took a bottle, then didn't, then we had to just keep on trying to get her to take it again.  That must be hard since you need to have her take a bottle to give her her meds.  We only had success using Dr. Brown's bottles (something about the flow I guess) that were warmed up just right (and we had to experiment until we found out what "just right" was). 

Anyway, you'll find out what works best for Zoey as time goes on -- some people need to be really rigid with their schedules and some don't - we could always work some flexibility into ours with Katie b/c I just couldn't stay home all the time either.  :)

Like Lana said, post your schedule and there might be something that could be tweaked a bit to make her happier.

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Re: HELP!!! 7 week old DD HATES the car
« Reply #8 on: November 18, 2006, 20:52:41 pm »
Hugs Shannon,

Sorry to read all this :( Do you have a sling or baby carrier that Zoey might prefer to be in while you are out and about? Riley had no problems with the carseat, but did not like his stroller when he was that young. He did a but better if I left him in the carseat and popped it on the travel system combi, instead of being in the main stroller part, and he was more snuggled that way, but the best of all was The Snugli. I could bring him anywhere in that and he would be fine and even nap in it.I would often throw a light blanket down over it so that he was blocked from everyone and everything.  Slings are great too as you can nurse as you go. She seems to do better in general being held, does she? I remember reading about the baby shower and she was fine and slept while she was being held.

I never like to wake a sleeping baby in general, but you can to protect or establish a sleep routine. Is she doing better at night at least? Hope things get better soon.
« Last Edit: November 18, 2006, 21:07:32 pm by binxyboo »

Offline Sungrl

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Re: HELP!!! 7 week old DD HATES the car
« Reply #9 on: November 19, 2006, 00:29:50 am »
Michelle - Zoey has been fine in the past in her carseat inside the stroller system.  I do have a baby bjorn that I take with me if I'm going to be out shopping for hours, but I haven't had to use it yet (she slept for hours in the stroller system in the past).  It's been a few weeks since I went anywhere for an extended time with her (that wasn't someone's house) so it's hard to say what would happen.

I certainly don't mean to sound like everything is so difficult or anything.  Zoey is just a joy and I love being a mom, I just found that she slept so much better and thus was easier to take out, etc. a few weeks ago.  She frequently slept in the car, but I have no idea now if she ever would fall asleep in the car.  I will find out tomorrow because I have to take her to pick up my mother.  Wish me luck!!!

It's very hard to say what our "schedule" is because every day is so different with my sweet little girl.  We used to have a pretty consistant schedule but once the 40 minute naps started, I can honestly say each day is different.

  • Normally she wakes between 7 and 8:30am (depends what time she wakes in the night, lately this has been very inconsistent) and I feed her.
  • Then we have some light activity for about 45 minutes to one hour or until she starts crying, whichever comes first.
  • Then I swaddle her and do wind down stuff... and she goes to sleep.  If I can extend this nap past 40 minutes she will often sleep for 2 hours...otherwise it is 40 minutes.
  • The rest of the day kind of goes the same with me feeding her every 2.5 - 3 hours and putting her to sleep after about an hour of activity, sometimes less.  I try to get her winding down when she starts to yawn or her eyes get red, etc.  If I miss that she will fuss and if I miss that she will cry (overtired). 
  • Around evening time she naps from about 6:30-7:00, wakes and then I try to get her in bed by 8:30pm (she has to take medication around 8:30 so I feed her before bed) but she normally won't go to sleep until almost 9pm.  If I try to get her to sleep any earlier she wakes up as though it was a nap and then ends up going to bed much later (usually 10pm or later).  Last night I had her in bed asleep at 8:35pm but she woke 40 minutes later and then woke every 10 minutes until 10:30pm! 

Today went like this (it's currently 5:30pm)...
E: 5am (and went right back to sleep)

E: 8am
A: 8:15-9:00 (in her swing while the family ate breakfast)
S (40 min): 9:10 -9:50 (she went hysterical at 9:00 so obviously needed to go down, I had my 3 year old step daughter here and she was in the tub and DH was watching Zoey)
9:50-10:15 Spent most of this time trying to get her back to sleep
S (30 min): 10:15 - 10:45

E: 10:45
A: 11:00-11:30 (tummy time and then some time with a rattle on her back but then got very cranky again)
S (1 hour 45 min): 11:30 - 1:15 I put her back to sleep in bed next to me and went for a nap myself.  I applied pressure when she stirred at 12:10 and she didn't wake until 1:15pm. 

E: 1:15
A: 1:30 - 2:30 Activity time
S (50 min total): 2:30pm - 3:45 She woke at 40 minutes... I sat and watched her on the video monitor for 15 minutes as she struggled and kept drifting off to sleep and waking back up again.  She then fell asleep for about 10 minutes before she woke and started to cry. 

E: 4:00
A: 4:10-5:00
S (40 min): 5:00 - 5:40 - if she manages to sleep longer then the rest will change
A: 5:45 - 6:00

E: 6:00 (try to get her to cluster feed here and again at 8:30 when she has to take her medicine)
A: 6:15-6:45
S (30 min): 6:45 cat nap until 7:15 or so if she is tired/cranky
A: 7:15 - 8:00 bedtime routine, quiet time
E: 8:15pm and right to bed

Again this is not necessarily typical...how the morning naps go usually ends up dictating how the rest of the day will work. 
Shannon


Offline Sungrl

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Re: HELP!!! 7 week old DD HATES the car
« Reply #10 on: November 19, 2006, 17:46:27 pm »
Dree, yes EBM means expressed breast milk.  :)  I don`t think my milk has changed in taste because Zoey still nurses every 2.5-3 hours without a problem.  I may try changing bottle nipples as I think she may not like the nipple...she often coughs and chokes when drinking from the bottle.

Zoey is on Phenobarbital because she had seizures when she was 2 days old.  She spent 4 days in the NICU and had a whole lot of tests done, only to determine that nothing is wrong with her.  A dark spot did show on her brain on the MRI, so the neurologist felt that she must have had some lack of oxygen at birth which then caused her brain to swell a bit, thus causing the seizures.  She has not had a seizure since she was admitted to the hospital and given the phenobarbital at 2 days old, but they want to keep her on it until she is 3 months old as a precaution.  Apparently this is standard practice when a newborn has seizures.  I`m not sure the affect the medication has on her, but I did read that side affects include restlessness and trouble sleeping...so perhaps once she is off of it she will nap better.

She refused the bottle again last night so I ended up using an oral syringe to feed her the EBM mixed with the medication.  She did not like that too much but at least I got the meds in her.  She then nursed for 10 minutes!  Little monkey!! :)

I`m from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada...by the way.  Where are you from??

I am still debating whether or not I will make the trip with Zoey in the car today to pick up my mother and her friend.  DH said he would do it without us but a part of me feels we should try.  I could take her out of the seat when we pick them up and try to rock her to sleep and then put her back in... and maybe even nurse her a bit.  I really need to get my confidence back up with taking her out... I do not want to be afraid to go anywhere with my baby!!!

It`s funny you should mention putting her in the Bjorn...I did last night in the evening because she was fussy and wanted to be held and my arms were tired...well have a look at what happened!!  :)  Little angel. 

Shannon


binxyboo

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Re: HELP!!! 7 week old DD HATES the car
« Reply #11 on: November 19, 2006, 17:50:53 pm »
Awwwwww, thats' adorable. Riley loved being held like that as a baby. It really is so comforting to them to be so close to Mama :)

Offline riuliani

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Re: HELP!!! 7 week old DD HATES the car
« Reply #12 on: November 19, 2006, 20:01:25 pm »
Well, I couldn't help be drawn to your post.  My LO is 5 months and still hates the car.  Maybe it is a geographic thing.  I am in Calgary.  Perhaps Alberta babies just love to be in wide open spaces rather than confined to the car.  We never really resolved our car issues, although some days I get lucky.  I must admit for the first 3 months I didn't go out much because I couldn't take the crying.  Here are some things that others told me to try.

- Is it really the car or the car seat?  A girlfriend of mine switched car seat types and it resolved all her car worries.  My LO can fall asleep in the car seat no problem.  It is only when it is in the car that he hates it.
- I agree that the heat thing is a big problem.  With our cold weather I was finding I would dress Campbell so warm then put him in the car, which would be heated.  When I took him out he would be drenched with sweat.  We now have a cuddly for the car seat.  I dress him in regular clothes.  Zip him up while we are outside then unzip him when we are in the warm car.  It has made a big difference.

I did find that swaddling him with his arms down was a bad idea for my LO.  He preferred to be able to play with his hands.  This was true for regular nap time in his crib.  At about 8 weeks we started using the Aussie swaddle (there is a link somewhere on this website), which provided more movement for his arms.  His restlessness diminished greatly in his sleep.  Now that he is older he sucks his fingers, which can soothe him sometimes.  If he is really upset he forgets he has fingers.

Other than that we did the front seat/back seat thing whenever we could.  Sorry not much help on the car front.

As for the naps...If you get a chance try to take two weeks to do some sleep training.  For me it worked miracles.  Plus, whenever I find we are falling off the EASY track it is much easier to pop back in the groove because I laid the groundwork so long ago.  I know it is hard but I would recommend setting your alarm clock every morning to wake up LO.  At first I had trouble waking a sleeping baby.  I did the same thing you described where if he was having a good nap or sleep I would leave him assuming he was making up for the bad times.  I now know better.  During my two week sleep training I kept a very detailed log.  It kept me honest about how much awake time and sleep time he actually had.  It also helped me diagnose some reasons why he wasn't napping properly.  Read Tracy's section for 0-3 months over and over until you find some jewel of advice to help you with your situation.  For me it was a different kind of sh/pat.  I kept him swaddled, lifted him high up over my shoulder, ssh'd past his ear and patted him very firmly on his back.  This worked well up until the 3.5 month mark.  You will have to experiment to find your own magic solution.  Every baby is different.  Plus, only let your LO nap for as long as Tracy recommends.  This way the nap will be long enough to get LO through the recommended activity time but not so long to ruin the rest of the day.  I firmly believe in waking a sleeping baby now.  It has made all the difference for me.  The only time I don't is when he is ill or has had his shots.  Then I think they need the extra rest to do some healing.

Anyway, my best advice is to start by firmly setting an EASY routine.  Then you may be able to plan your outings around it and find the sweet spots in the day for car trips.  Anything is worth a try, since there is nothing worse than being stuck in the driver seat while LO is screaming in the back. Trust me I was reduced to tears on more than one occasion.

Good Luck!
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Offline Sungrl

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Re: HELP!!! 7 week old DD HATES the car
« Reply #13 on: November 20, 2006, 04:06:27 am »
Well, we braved the outing today and it went really really well!!!  ;D

Zoey had been up for 1.5 hours when we were on our way out (we didn't have a choice with the timing as we were picking my mother up from a bus trip) and I tried my hardest to get her to sleep before leaving but she wouldn't fall asleep.  So, we left and she did start to fuss a bit after about 15 minutes but I got her to take her soother (she rarely will take a soother) and she fell asleep.  We went to my mom's house afterwards and stayed for supper and it was right at the very fussy time when we were leaving, and I did manage to get her to sleep before we left and put her in the seat with her arms swaddled...but the little sweetie woke up right as we walked out the door.  So, we left anyway and when she started to cry DH turned Death Cab for Cutie up quite loudly and she totally stopped and was quiet the whole 20 minute ride home (and wide awake)!!!  That album was what I listened to when I was giving birth... I wonder if she remembers it?!?!?  Anyway, I feel a lot better about going out with her in the car now.  Tomorrow we have another outing and I'm sure it will be fine and if not, we'll try that CD again!!!   ;D

I even managed to get her to bed at 8:30pm today! 

riuliani - thanks for the reply fellow Albertan!  It is very rare that Zoey takes a 3 hour nap...usually if we've been out or something and she didn't nap well while out and it has never changed the rest of the day or made her sleep worse at night.  Normally, she will sleep about 10.5-11 hours at night (with 1 or 2 wakings to eat and right back to sleep) and then I can now normally get her to have one good nap of 1.5-2 hours in the morning, and the rest are usually 40 minute naps.  I think in total she is getting the recommended 15-16 hours of sleep either way.  We do follow EASY as best we can with her age (some days she wants to eat every 2 hours) and with the 40 minute naps (sometimes we have to have A time before the next E time because of the short naps).  Sometimes she is only awake 45 minutes before I start to put her down again for a nap...and if she's had a really short one it may be less time than that. 

I also do a different method of shhh/pat to get Zoey settled down for sleep.  I cradle her in my arms and pat her bum while saying shhh.  I then put Zoey in her crib awake but almost asleep (eyes very heavy and closing) and have been doing this for a few weeks now (unless she's really overtired).  Most of the time it works but if she wakes right up I will pick her up and continue the shhh/pat until she is droopy eyed again.

I'm not sure I see a benefit in setting an alarm clock to wake my baby up would be as she is normally awake between 7 and 8 and then we follow EASY from there.  My understanding of the EASY technique is that it is a routine and not a schedule.  Waking at exactly the same time each day seems to much like a rigid schedule to me and we need flexibility. 

Shannon
« Last Edit: November 20, 2006, 04:09:14 am by Sungrl »


Offline riuliani

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Re: HELP!!! 7 week old DD HATES the car
« Reply #14 on: November 20, 2006, 07:57:47 am »
Sorry I may have been a bit unclear, the clock watching wasn't permanent.  I only set the alarm clock and kept on a tight "schedule" for the two weeks that I worked on the sleep training.  It just made it easier on my LO and I to learn a routine that worked for us.  After that two weeks I stopped watching the clock and started watching the cues, which means some mornings its 1.5 hours activity time others it is 2 hours.  Sometimes he is up at 6:30am, other times it is 8:30am (love these days).  However, by watching the clock and keeping the log for that two weeks I learned so much more about his cues.  He also learned how to get himself to sleep with very little help from us, which is a blessing (we were going cold turkey on a soothie at the same time).  We were at a Grey Cup party today.  At 5:00pm I started seeing his cues, went to a bedroom and had him napping within 5 minutes.  My girlfriend was astonished.  They can't put their LO down anywhere except at home and even then she will only fall asleep in the swing.  I think if I hadn't taken the time to observe him when he was younger I wouldn't have the luxury of having an easy baby now (pardon the bad pun).  This is also how I learned that if he napped more than two hours bedtime was a bear.  I guess I approached the whole EASY program like one would approach observing gorillas or something in the wild.  I kept detailed notes that I could review at the end of the day.  I assumed that I knew nothing and went from there.  These days I think he whispers me more than I whisper him.  Of course every milestone brings a challenge.  Wait until you hit rolling over.  We hit it very early (just before 3 months).  That was a doozy :D.
<img src="http://b3.lilypie.com/Dqdhm6.png" alt="Lilypie 3rd Birthday Ticker" border="0"  />

<img src="http://b1.lilypie.com/8ieam6.png" alt="Lilypie 1st Birthday Ticker" border="0"  />

Offline Erin M

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Re: HELP!!! 7 week old DD HATES the car
« Reply #15 on: November 20, 2006, 17:59:35 pm »
Hey Shannon, glad to hear your trip went well!  I listened to the soundtrack to the movie "Garden State" all the time when I was PG and it worked really well to soothe Katie when she was small, I'm sure they remember hearing it before they were born :)

Just to throw my two cents in, I think the whole waking thing depends a whole lot on your LO.  I've only woken Katie up in the morning a handful of times in her entire life (when we've had to be somewhere) and she's generally been a good nighttime sleeper and napper -- she's very easygoing though, so that helps.  Sounds like you're doing a great job, I got very hung up on Katie's eating and sleeping when she was tiny and it made me miserable -- things got better when I eased up a bit. 

Offline Sungrl

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Re: HELP!!! 7 week old DD HATES the car
« Reply #16 on: November 21, 2006, 03:52:39 am »
riuliani and Stacy - thanks for the info about sleep training; makes sense.  Zoey is going to bed pretty easily around 8:30pm these days and waking around 7:30am.  She does have at least one nap of 1.5 - 2 hours in the morning and often the rest are 40 minutes long.  She is usually only awake for a max of 1 hour before she needs another nap.  I would like her naps to be longer, but I'm not desperate by any means at this point so I'm not going to resort to alarm clocks or anything.  If she wakes from a 40 minute nap and is fussy or upset, I normally just get her back down to sleep as soon as I can.  If Zoey is not sleeping through the night in a few months perhaps I will look more into sleep training at this then.  Zoey is still only 8 weeks old and she does take medication that could very well affect her sleeping, so at least until she is off the medication I am not going to worry too much about her sleeping habits. 

Erin - I have also found I've been worrying a bit too much about Zoey's sleeping... and crying.  She slept so much and cried so little for the first 6 weeks of her life, I got spoiled and freaked out when she suddenly would have crying meltdowns or take really short naps.  The truth is that when I think about it, Zoey may have always taken 40 minute naps... I just might not have noticed.  I used to have her napping in her Moses basket or Papasan chair in the living room all the time, but then I got hung up on self soothing and started putting her in her crib for every nap and that seems to be when the 40 minute naps started...or at least when I noticed them.  I really want her to be able to nap anywhere (at my mom's or friend's houses) and now I'm worried I'm going to ruin that by putting her in her crib for every nap. 

I also have to put Zoey in her bassinet in our room every other weekend because we have my 3 year old stepdaughter sleeping over and she sleeps in the nursery (we have only one spare room).  After I moved her to her crib, I did notice it was harder to get her to sleep and stay asleep in the bassinet.  I'm not sure what to do about this...  Any ideas??

Shannon


Offline Sungrl

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Re: HELP!!! 7 week old DD HATES the car
« Reply #17 on: November 21, 2006, 04:14:10 am »
Stacy, my stepdaughter is 3 and there is no way she would sleep in our room on the floor and the living room isn't practical because she goes to bed so early and my older step daughter is here also and we cannot expect everyone to go to bed at 8pm!  She has to be in her own room and Zoey's is the only one we have.  My step daughter has been sleeping over (moving back and forth) regularly since she was under a year old and is a very well adjusted child as a result.  Zoey is going to have to get used to moving back and forth weekly until we move to a bigger house, we just have no choice.  I had planned to put her in a playpen once she outgrew the basinette (my step daughter has slept in one here all along).

Shannon


Offline Sungrl

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Re: HELP!!! 7 week old DD HATES the car
« Reply #18 on: November 21, 2006, 04:25:55 am »
I suppose we could try the playpen now, she just seems so tiny to go in there!  :)  She was sleeping in the basinette next to me up until last week...

They may eventually share the room but we are just getting everyone adjusted right now and it wouldn't work to have them together.  My step daughter wakes at 6am sharp and little Zoey sleeps until 7:30 or 8:00am and is still waking (twice at the moment) for feeds in the night so it wouldn't work to have them together...they would wake each other up.