18-mo old screaming at night

[emilieh]

My dd is almost 19 months old and has been a great sleeper for about a year. But five days ago, she began waking in the night screaming in her crib. The only thing that soothes her is if I stay with her, keeping my hand on her back or belly. I originally stayed with her until she fell back asleep, but now as soon as I move from the room she starts screaming again. She sounds afraid. Now she's up several times a night and I'm exhausted. She seems perfectly okay during theday (except for being tired) and I've tried giving her motrin and teething gel just in case. Any suggested? I'm exhausted and about ready to let her "cry it out" but don't want to. Help!

[londongirl]

My sympathy!! i know that doesnt help you, but i have the same trouble with my DD.  Screaming if i leave the room. Perhaps they all go through this, i dunno.  Could be teeth, or separation anxiety, or a bit of both. ive yet to work it out.
Good luck, and try and nap in the day - even if only for half an hour, it will keep you going. i do, whenever i can.
 

[Florencia]

Hi emilieh and Londongirl!

The reasons for waking screaming in the middle of the night are variable, it could be an illness, separation anxiety, overtiredness, night terrors, bad habits... or a combo of them. I'd suggest you to look in the Faq section of this board under a thread called Most Common Sleep Busters and read through it to see if something "rings a bell". Along with this, I'm gonna need you to post how a typical day looks like for your lo's to come up with some suggestions.

All I can say is that trying CIO will only make things worse. It breaks the trust bond between mother and child and doesn't teach any good sleep habit. It just teaches that no matter how long and how loud they scream, they won't have anyone around. And that's a sad lesson to learn at such a young age. There are other suggestions to deal with night wakings, described on the FAQ section under a thread called TEaching Independent Sleep, you might also want to check that out.

I'll be waiting for your replies. Meantime, hugs to you both!!!!!!!! i know it is not fun to be up several times in the middle of the night and how awfully it affects the rest of our days. 

[emilieh]

My dd's daily routine is pretty straightforward. Before she started the night wakings (last Friday), she woke up about 7 am, had breakfast, played and we would run errands or whatever. She eats lunch at 11:30, we leave at noon to pick up her big sister from preschool, and we're back home at about 1pm. Then she takes a nap (typically an hour and half to two hours), then she's up, has a snack and plays for a few hours until dinner at about 5:00 or 5:30. Bathtime is 6:30, with bedtime between 7 and 7:30. It's been a fabulous schedule since about June and didn't fall apart until last week.

The only thing I can think of is separation anxiety. Sometimes on the drive home from preschool she falls asleep in the car and then I put her in her crib to finish the nap ... maybe that's freaking her out or she is losing her fall-asleep alone skills? She seems to wake up happy from naps.

I tried the technique of laying her down every time she stands up and that worked okay ... except it took about an hour to get her back to sleep at 3 am, and she was up again at 5 and 6:30. She seems to listen for when I leave the room and screams as soon as she hears me leave, even when I think she's asleep.

I'm getting sooooo tired... no chance for a nap since I have another one!

[Florencia]

So perhaps her nap is taking place too late in the midday? Before I read she falls asleep in the car I was already thinking that the nap was being a bit late. Her falling sleep in the car indicates she's too tired by that time in the day and that overtiredness might acumulate through the day causing night wakings. If an earlier nap is not possibe (due to you having to pick another lo from school) then you can try an earlier bedtime or try and extend his morning wake up with wake to sleep.

TO deal with night wakings I think you're on the right way. It takes a long time for the first couple of nights but if you persevere, you'll get through it. Think of it as if you'd only had to hold on for one sleepless week to enjoy the rest of full nights... it's worth the trade, isn't it?

HTH and good luck!