9 mo. old crying all night!

[jtbmom]

Hello, this is my first time on BW and am desperately looking for some help.  A good friend of mine is a member and suggested that I join.  My son, who just turned 9 months, seems to be digressing in his ability to sleep through the night.  Jake has been sleeping through the night since he was about 21/2 months old.  However, in the last month he has started waking and crying.  When I go into his room he is standing in his crib.  I would lay him back down, put in his paci if it was out and he would go back to sleep, sometimes for the rest of the night and sometimes waking again and doing the same thing.  Here in the last few days it has gotten worse.  He started waking anywhere between 4-6 in the morning wide awake, crying if I wasn't in there with him.  He has also gotten off of his nap schedule and only slept for about 45 min. yesterday.  Last night he went down and 7:30 and woke up at 9:30 waking every hr. after that until 4 when I finally shut his door and mine and tried to get some sleep.  He did cry for about 15 min. and then went to sleep waking at 6 when my husband went in and put his paci in and then he slept until about 7:40. 
He has never acted like this and i am at a loss as what to do.  Like I said, when I go into the room he stops crying and as long as I'm patting him he's OK.  He only cries when I leave the room.  Sometimes waiting about 10 min. and then starting to cry.  His  is eating well and is in a good mood during the day even though he 's not sleeping well at night.  If this is just a growth spurt, how long can I expect it to last.  He has never acted like this before.

[Colin Macs Mom]

It sounds like separation anxiety to me. Does he show any signs during the daytime, like being extra clingy? Getting upset when you leave the room?

[jtbmom]

Now that you mention it he does seem to want to be with me all the time.  So what are you supposed to do?  How long will it last? 

[Colin Macs Mom]

There's not a lot you can do except reassure LO as much as possible and get through it. It's important that you go the extra mile to make sure that he knows you are there when he needs you and it's ok to be two separate people.    He will get through it when he's ready - hard to say how long it will last.     

Just make sure that you are with him when he needs you and give him as much attention as you can. Nights are the hardest - but what has worked for a lot of people is to sit in his room on a chair with him, and then slowly, day by day move the chair a little bit closer to the door (and therefore further away from LO) until you're out of the room.

[jtbmom]

I guess we've been so lucky with how well Jake's been sleeping that this has really thrown us. I looked up some things on the interent about separation anxiety to see if there were some suggestions.  Pretty much just something they have to go through.  We'll see how tonight goes.  Thanks for your help.

[Colin Macs Mom]

Yeah, unfortunately there are some phases that you just have to get through, but that's not to say that you can't make it a little better or faster.   

[Liam's Mama]

Just wanted to give you some {{{{hugs}}}}
I'm not sure how much help I will be with night time Sep. Anx. but I'm going to try!

I would use a method called Pick up/Put down (there is a PU/PD board which you may find useful). Put your lo down like normal. when he wakes up crying I would go in and lie him back down, (I usually tell my lo " I understand you are tired/frustrated/scared etc mummy is here but it is time to sleep" while I put him down but I don't say anything else after that) don't leave the room but don't give eye contact. If he gets back up continue to lie him down until he falls asleep... this may be a long time, I remember being up with my lo for over an hour trying before he went to sleep. It only took a couple days (in our case, in some cases it can take over a week for the lo to adjust to a new change) and then my lo was sleeping through the night again. your lo may take longer if he is scared you are going to leave the room but hopefully soon he will realise that you are there however he still has to go to sleep. If you are interested in pu/pd the pu/pd board might be able to offer you better advise than I have given... I would be interested in your daily routine such as when your lo goes down for naps and how long he naps for... the night issue could be related to the length and number of day naps.... Keep us posted! 
Devon
P.s. could your lo be teething? or could his soother become a prop?

[wfabby]

Definitely sounds like SA. 

Do the typical things in the day to reassure him, play peek-a-boo often.  Have your dh watch him for you tell him goodbye and go get the mail or stroll outside for a spell then come right back assuring him when you return that you will always come back.  Never leave without saying goodbye.  If you go to a room other than where he is in the day, tell him what you are doing and talk to him from there. 

Play peek-a-boo in his crib too. 

As for night time, that is tough.  I was given advice to place a chair by the crib.  When your lo wakes, do the pu/pd thing like Liam's mama said and sit down in the chair.  Wait for him to cry a real cry, repeat the cycle.  The next night move the chair a little farther from the crib and so on until you are out the door.

As someone pointed out to me, don't sit in a chair you usually share with him, maybe bring one from another room so as not to tease him.

I am NO expert, but I have gotten some great advice on this site

[jtbmom]

Thanks for all the help.  Last night was much better.  He only woke up twice and easily went back to sleep.  Hopefully things will continue to get better. 

[Colin Macs Mom]

Great!