Starting EASY on Friday -- any tips?

[Seans mommy]

I'm going to be starting EASY this Friday for my 14 week old son.  For the next few days I'm going to be documenting everything just to get a visual idea of what we are already doing.  I know that I have become the victim of accidental parenting along the way since Sean acts like I'm putting him into a pit of hot lava whenever I try to put him down in his bassinet without him being completely asleep.  I didn't mean to start sneaking him into his bed after he fell asleep at the breast but I was just so tired I didn't know what else to do at the time!      I'm not sure what I think about doing dream feeds and am willing to get up once during the night for him to eat (he usually wakes up ravenous somewhere between 2 and 5).  Anyone not doing a dream feed?  How is it working?  I just can't imagine getting him to eat when he's asleep since when he falls asleep during his nightly bottle of pumped milk before going to bed (that way I can see how much he's taking in) his mouth just stays open in the shape of the nipple when I take it out and he's so asleep he doesn't suck no matter what.

Any tips for implementing EASY, especially the "S"?  I'm so worry I'm just going to break down when he starts crying and am going to have a hard time sticking to putting him down to fall asleep on his own (with pu/pd of course).  I'm realizing that because he is my miracle baby (my first son died the day after he was born last year) that I am pretty resistant to letting him cry for even a second and am always trying to be right there so that he won't be upset -- ever.  It's also wearing on me and I am becoming frustrated when he is still fussing and thrashing in his bed every time I put him down.  We'll even go 1-2 hours in the middle of the night (even when I try to sneak him in his eyes shoot open as soon as his back is ever so gently placed on the mattress) and I'm sooooooooooooooo tired!  I'm also wondering about having him in a bassinet in my room as opposed to putting him in his crib in his nursery.  Sorry I'm all over the place but even though I absolutely know that he will do better with a routine this is a little hard for me.  Thanks ahead of time for any advice!

[rebecaq]

Hi and Welcome to BW!!

First of all I'd like to give you some big {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}, being overtired is hard enough, but given the added stress by the loss of your first lo must be awful.

I think it's good you're starting EASY on Friday when dh is there to help you during the weekend.  What you both need to tell yourselves over and over as a mantra is that when ds cries because you put him in his bassinette, it's not because he's mad at you or scared to be on his own.  Babies need to taught how to sleep, and up until now he's been taught to sleep with mommy.  So when that changes he's gets confused, he being placed to sleep without a warm body next him. This is when the crying begins, he's telling you " This is NOT how we sleep!!".  You and dh need to remind yourselves of that constantly.

About the dreamfeed, I personally never did the dreamfeed  because like your ds my ds would not wake for it or suck in his sleep. I settled for clusterfeeding him at 4 then 6 and that made all the difference in the world regarding his nightwakings. I know it's not the way it's written in the book, but I had to bend the rules for what worked for us.

Tackling the S part of EASY is tricky. Here's a link to PU/PD that you may find helpful   https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=9287.0
And remember, when he's crying it his way of telling you things. I'm tired, I'm not used to sleep this way, I'm overtired etc.  Try to tune in to his crying and see if he's really in need of you, or just venting out some frustration. This where many parents make mistakes, they think that ALL crying means their child is in dire need of their help. He does need comfort EVERYTIME he's crying, but each situation is different. Am I making sense? For example, if he's just whining at being placed in his basinnette you can soothe him without picking him up, but you're still there to show him comfort. If he gets more upset then do PU/PD to show him you will always be there for him, but you are not there to make him sleep, he needs to learn that on his own.

I personally would put his basinnette in his room, so he becomes used to associating his room with sleeping. Because if you sleep train him in your room and then change gim to another one he may go back to square one in not being able to self soothe.

My ds went through something similar and I found that making the winddown a bit longer in oprder to give him time to "get" what was going on and transition from A to S was very helpful.

HTH

Let me know how it goes once you start 

- Beca