Hi everyone!
I have a 28motoddler and a 4 1/2 mo baby. My older son was a spirited baby, and not knowing better and not wanting him to cry, I ended up using lots of props. (sometimes nursing, slingwearing, singing, rocking all at the same time!) Needless to say, he took a long time to learn to sleep thru the night and still needs a lot of help to sleep, which we are slowly undoing.
With my second child, I studied the BW books, and vowed to do things better this time. Things started out very well, but within a few wks, colic set in, and I seemed to have a textbook baby in the mornings, easy to put to sleep, but by afternoon/evening, he just looked absolutely miserable and uncomfortable. At its worst, he would moan/cry from 3pm to 11pm unless (and often even if) we were constantly rocking or walking him. To get thru these times, I relied heavily on using a sling - this was the only way I could comfort my baby and care for my toddler. EASY kind of fell apart in the afternoons.
As he got older, we seemed to be doing better. By 2 1/2 mos, he was waking only 1-2 times at night, and I felt that with a bit of work, I could prob get him to sleep thru. He still needed some rocking before naps, but I've been using a gentle removal approach to decrease this gradually.
But now, things seem to be getting worse. I started going to work more regularly, and while I'm gone, he eats just enough to get by, and seems to be making up for it at night. B/c he's nursing so much during sleeptimes, I think he's developing a strong sleep/suck association; for the last few days, he's getting up every 45min, sometimes 90 if I'm lucky. He's always had short naps in the afternoons; now the morning naps are short too. He takes 4-5naps a day, has a bath & bedtime feed, is in bed by 6 or 6:30, wakes in 45min to eat again, then I dreamfeed him at 9 and 11.
I'm trying to use the post about getting a 4mo on EASY, but I'm having some problems. I'm hoping maybe someone can help.
So here are my questions:
1 - In the morning, my baby usually wakes at around 7am and then starts yawning after 30min. (I believe this is b/c my husband leaves for work at 7:30 and this is the only time they see each other). Should I put him back to sleep at 7:30 or keep him awake as the 4mo on EASY post suggests? It's usually very easy to get him back to sleep, but after keeping him up, he's overtired and has a hard time.
2- Also, I just read about the transition from 3hr to 4hr EASY. I never really made a transition, and prob did just the opposite, increasing the frequency of daytime feeds, thinking it would decrease nighttime feeds. Did I create problems with this? Should I aim for a 4hour EASY, even though I've been on more of a 3 or even 2 1/2 hr schedule?
3- How do I approach the nightime awakenings? He always wakes with the cough like "I need to nurse" sound. But clearly he doesn't need to nurse every time. Do I do PUPD, or rock him thru the awakening like I did at 2mos (successfully). Do I pick 2 arbitrary times to feed him at night and try to get him to sleep thru the rest?
Thanks so much to anyone who might take the time to help me. My husband & I are surrounded by friends and colleagues who all "Ferberized " their kids and keep telling us to do the same. I'm not really finding any support for not crying it out except for a few friends who all used no cry approaches (but were also sleep derived for many months like I've been!) I desperately want to help my son, but want to avoid any misery or cruelty for him.
Thank you!!!
srar13
