AP for getting past the 45 minute nap?

[2sweetgirls]

Hi there,

I have a 12 week little one who as of about 3 weeks ago is a champion at the 45 minute nap.  I was able to extend into the next sleep cycle by shh/pat for about a week.  This no longer works and she gets pretty upset and doesn't calm down unless I pick her up.  I have tried W2S but she still fully wakes at the 45 min mark.

What I have done that has been successful is sneak in just before she is due to wake up and I hold her for about 10 minutes plus.  This gets her over the hump and into the next sleep cycle without her waking up at all.  I do this reluctantly as I do not want this to become a habit.  My hope is that her body will just get used to sleeping for that long and she will not be aware that I am holding her since she has not fully waken.  What are your opinions?  Am I setting myself up for further battles down the road?  I, like many who have experienced the short naps, am at my wits end and very frustrated.  I'm getting nothing done and feel trapped in the nursery with a crying baby.

She is currently on a very loose schedule as it seems to change every day.

E: 7-7:30
A
S: 8:15-8:45
E: 10-10:30
A
S: 11:15-11:30
E: 1-1:30
A
S: 2:15-2:30
E: 4-4:30
A
S: 5:15-5:30
E: 6-6:30
A
S: 7:15-7:30
A: 8-8:15
E: 8:30-8:45
S: 9

Our evening gets very dicey as she refuses to go down for bedtime despite my best efforts.  I have tried earlier bedtimes but she just doesn't want to be in her bed but rather held/walked.  We go round and round for at least 2 hours each evening until she crashes.  Any suggestions in this area are welcome as well.  She is breastfed exclusively.

Thanks in advance!
 

[angelina and andrew's mum]

when u say uv tried earlier bedtimes do u mean moving it from like 9 to 7? have u tried to gradually do this for example by half hour every few days? when does ur lo get her bath-is it just before bed? how much of a windown time do u give her? ikwum by the 45min naps-my lo's the same-sometimes i can get ot to an hour but not always(i normally turn the heating up to get her drowsy)i dont know what to suggest about the naps-sorry but hopefully someone will be able to advise on that. what type is ur baby-spirited, etc?

[2sweetgirls]

Thanks for the response.  I honestly haven't done a real gradual approach for moving her bedtime.  I've always kind of aimed for 7:30-8 but she has a hard time going to sleep.  It therefore takes her about another hour or two to actually go to sleep.  I think she may be unsure of the darkness but that is just a theory.  I don't include a bath in her routine at night because I also have a 3 yo to attend to and at this time of the day it is just so much.  Any suggestions or examples of how others handle this would be interesting to me. 

Her bedtime routine is not the greatest but again, with another one to put to bed it is complicated.  Basically, I play a lullaby cd while I give her a massage, change her into her jammies, feed her, read a story, prayer and song. 

For the first two months I thought she was a textbook baby but now I think she is more spirited.  It could be that she is just so tired and crabby too.

[mich0902]

OMG, I could have written exactly the same thing!  My LO is the same - textbook at first, and now at 10 weeks, she seems like a spirited baby to me!  We have pretty much the same routine, except that she doesn't always wake up at the same time - could be anywhere between 7:30 and 10:00!  In the morning, she has great naps, falls asleep ***almost*** on her own, but as the day progresses, it gets bad and then worse!   Her naps get shorter and shorter, and after I lose patience and take her out of her crib, she can stay awake, smiling and cooing for another hour, even though she only slept 45 minutes.  I sometimes wonder if she really needs to sleep longer since she doesn't look tired or if I don't read her fatigue signs well enough...

She also screams for up to an hour before going to bed, we do pat/shh (more like bounce/shh here, since she's a back sleeper) but I have no patience for this!

Do you swaddle?  My DD seems to really hate for a couple of minutes until she starts relaxing, can take up to 10-15 minutes, but she sleeps better that way.  I need to swaddle her, then walk her a little in her room until her eyes start to close and then I put her in her crib and bounce/shh a little.  Sometimes it work very well, other times I have to start everything all over again a couple of times...

I also have a 3 year old DS and it does make things more complicated in the evening.  Seems like we don't have the time to take her to bed at the right time, or we don't notice she's tired on time, so I think she sometimes gets overtired.  That could explain the crying at night.  But we do include a bath in her routine.  DS goes to bed at 8, she has a bath around 8:30 and has one last feed around 9.  If we're lucky, she's sound asleep around 10 PM.

Anyway, I'm hijacking your post here, just wanted to say you're not alone!

[2sweetgirls]

Hey mich0902, it does help to know i'm notthe only person going through this.  I know in the grand scheme of things my issues are completely minor but it is still very frustrating at times especially when I'm tired so thanks!  I do have some success to report on regarding the naps.  I tried putting her down on her stomach, swaddled with one arm out.  She is very strong and has good head control and now can easily find her hand for soothing.  I sat in her room at the 40 minute mark and she barely stirred.  It's been an hour and a half and she is still sleeping!!!! I am ecstatic.

As for the night time routine I am reconsidering the bath as part of wind down.  Perhaps I just need to give in and have her bedtime be a little later and hope that it will just get earlier gradually.  I just was not wanting to spend an hour and a half plus putting the two girls down for the night.  Eventually it will get easier when they can bathe together and have storytime, etc. together.

Thanks again and good luck to you and your little ones!

[angelina and andrew's mum]

have u thought about u and the girls having a bath together-dont know if that would complicate things for u?

[2sweetgirls]

I am going to start incorporating a bath and just put the baby down after the big sister heads off to bed.  We'll see how that goes.  Last night it was only an hour of getting her to sleep after the routine but then she was up many times throughout the night.  It will always be something!