I'm back..and desperate...sorry...

[yaya]

I bet ur begining to dread posts from me LOL
Ok well after 3 months of hell (sorry to use such a strong word) we r not getting any better. In case u had forgotten here's a recap: 3 months ago DS started with a falreup of reflux, we got that sorted. Then he got a very bad case of thrush (which he still has) and diahorrea alternated with constipation (which gave him bad stomach pains at night. he then got a cold and a pretty stuffed up nose, to sum all this up, DS has been waking every hr for 3 months and some nights is awake up to 3 hrs.

I am totally desperate as have no idea what else to do. he still has a little thrush but it isnt as itchy and the rest of the stuff has cleared up BUT he still doesnt sleep.

I try and try to analyse him at night but cannot work out whats wrong and what to do about it.

Basically he goes to sleep in my arms (have been waiting patiently for all illnesses to pass before I attempt sleep training), around 7.30, sleeps till about 12ish then begins to wake every hr. I used to be able to settle him fairly quickly with some pattign but now need to pick him up. Around 4ish he is suddenly totally awake and I rock, swing, pat and whatever else till he goes back to sleep usually around 6ish and sometimes sleeps till 8am

I realise that part of the issue is not fallign asleep independently but do u think this is the sole cause??? He is almost 14 mo and has slept thru 12hrs straight before this saga so i'm inclined to think there is something else.

We have switched to one nap a day now, in the am if he wakes really early or otherwise around 1pm for about 1hr 45 (cant seem to make 2 hrs)

I also know he is seriously overtired but am at a complete loss as to how to 'start' fixing all this.

Do u suggest starting the sleep training and seeign how it goes? In the past sleep training has been ok only big prob was it taking hrs for him to fall asleep but he was always happy to go into his cot. Now, he gets REALLY upset when I put him down, and not the wingy kind of upset but the hysterical kind and the times it has work I have patted him to sleep in the cot and he has just passed out exhausted. I cannot bear for him to be so frightened of goign to sleep on his own (i think it is linked to a lot of the illness beign bad layign down) and have no idea how to start!

PLEASE PLEASE help

TIA with much love from a very tired yaya and thomas (oh and DP!)

[Dree]

Hey Yaya,

Poor you and LO..First of all my heart goes out to both of you..I have certainly been down that road....Do you think it could be teething or gas ? What I would do with my DD was give her Camilia for teething. It is a homeopathic product (all natural), so I felt comfortable enough to give it to her. Just ask your pharmacist.

If it is gas, have you tried Ovol drops?. It helps with gas. If my LO is not trying to chew her pacifier, then I know it is gas. So, what I do is give her the drops. I hold her in my arms, put the drops, put her paci in her mouth and put her to bed wide awake. Eventually she will fall asleep. If she is still awake after 1hr I will give her a 2oz bottle of formula very warm. Now, I know alot of mommies will disagree with me. But, I believe sometimes you need to do whatever it takes to make your baby comfortable and able to sleep. I will do this for naps and bedtime.

If your LO has relfux have you tried elevating his mattess. I was told that this will help babies with reflux sleep much better. Give it a try.

I hope that helps.
Good Luck
Dree

[mcruari]

Michelle,
I know this is a terrible moment. We went through it too but without the illnesses so a little bit different.
I always tried some homeopathic or bach flower remedy and they usually worked. Kids are so receptive to these therapies.

Here a couple I thought you might want to try. The description sounds something similar to what Thomas is going through:

Mimulus: This Essence helps children who are fearful and shy. The fear is known, such as, fear of going to sleep in the dark,  being alone, dogs and starting school etc. Especially good for separation anxiety.

Aspen: This Essence helps children deal with unknown fears such as nightmares and feeling anxious.

Rescue Remedy

You can give him 3 drops 4 times a day with any of these, either directly in the mouth or in a drop of water (only a little like on a teaspoon to make sure it all goes in).

Good luck

[yaya]

thtas brill ! thanx sinead! will pm u in a tic re: weekend!

[yaya]

Wish us luck! we have started sleep training (again) ! I have decided against wi/wo for now as DS is really. truly upset when I put him in his cot and i think it may be a little sa. Here's how tonight went...
went to nursery 7.45, had bottle, placed in cot, screamed hysterically (him not me!) reassured and layed down. Had to do A LOT of patting but in the end he stopped raising his arms to be picked up, just gave kiss, alyed him down and patted till calm, stopped patting and started again when upset. took a total of 45 mins. How does this sound to you>? He clearly isnt ready for me to be away from the cot or out of the room, do think this is ok?

Also, do u think the fact that he is sooo upset to be put down a sign of sa?
DO i keep doing same thign for nightwakings to? (every hr)

thanx for your patience!

[*Natasha*]

Yaya we have just gone through this at the moment with DD who always went to sleep without a peep. I also think it was SA so we did WI/WO with her which took about a week until we could put her down and walk out with little or no fuss. It started with 45mins to settle her then 30mins,15mins and finally 5mins. What you are doing sounds fine to me and hopefully when he settles down you can start doing WI/WO as well until he is settle. This is a crazy age with lots going on in their lives and they are becoming alot more aware of what is going on around them.

[LucyA]

Yaya, sounds like you did great! I agree that while he's so upset you need to stay with him. Good luck

[Florencia]

Hi yaya!

I had replied to this post and I don't know what happened but it got lost in the cyberspace... aggg i hate it when it happens.

THomas sounds really similar to Manolo at that age. What happened to us was a combo of illness and overtiredness and teething. Yes teething was the main issue since the pain was so strong, apparently it helped lowen my lo's defenses and hence allowing the development of MULTIPLE bugs. Along with it, the amount of meds i had to give Manolo during that period aggraveted (or reactivated) the reflux and heartburn. I think Thomas has a similar pattern: pain-illness-meds-reflux-badsleep-overtiredness-cranky-more pain... etc

What I did was trying gradual withdrawal while he teethed 8 teeth/molars. He got really upset at the thought of being left alone so I moved to his room and stayed there till he was about 16 months and ended the teething mania. By staying in his room I was able to catch his waking jolts and was able to handle them better before they escalated. I would pat/shsh him to sleep at the first sounds and he would go down easily that if I just waited for him to cry hysterically. Eventually it got better, i had to retake the reflux treatment during that period too. I made sure he ate soft meals (the rare ocassions he ate, cause the meds and teething pain also affected his hunger) and that helped too.

I think that this plan might work for you since the scenario is so similar. Manolo was stuck into 1:45 min naps so i moved to his room during naps too. I would soothe him back to sleep at the first jolt and eventually he started sleeping through that mark too, I was really careful with the pain medication cause that agravated the reflux too. I went with homeopatical remedies and paracetamol mostly.

HTH and at least gives you some hope that there is light at the end of the tunnel!! hugs!!!

[Maeve]

Hi Yaya,
My DS2 has reflux, and has a very similar pattern (so you don't want my advice LOL). Sleeping well until about 12, and from 6 to 8 am. And awake on and off all night. He does fall asleep by himself, though. This has come and gone but recently thanks to nothing we have done he is sleeping through again. I was up all night last friday, making sure he was still alive!)
The only thing I have noticed consistently is that he never sleeps well when he doesn't eat well; is that an issue for your fella?

[Florencia]

Hi yaya... i, as the other posters think that your approach sounds great and you just have to keep at it to see some results.

I hope you don't mind me merging this topic with your previous one since you're still getting answers on that one and they both are related.

HUGS again and much luck vibes going your way!

[yaya]

thanx everyone! well things are slightly better, the rash is less drastic and the itching has subsided so I am confident the night wakings (or at least some of them) are not due to discomfort. The other night as I said, he fell asleep independently (with me there and then only woke 3 times) unfortunately last night we slept at my mother's as our heating was on the blink (very cold here!!) and he woke every hr again. I think now its habit, and due to ap, he doesnt really know how to settle himself again when he wakes. i will keep at the sleep trainign as I think it will greatly help with the wakings. Then I'm going to try wi/wo as hes 14 months old now. My only prob is inconsistency due to exhaustion and lack of motivation when I dont see results immediately!!!

keep the cheering on coming!!
thanx everyone

[Florencia]

Hey you can do it!!!!! totally hear you about lack of motivation when you're exhausted and can't see a result. But it will come in the end if you are persistant! maybe take a couple of days break (once your heating is ok) and stay at your moms to regain strenght and then go for it! Wishing you much luck! I remember back then when i was sleep training and the gas company cut off my gas by mistake. We had to take cold baths after sleepless nights and heat ds's water bath in the microwave... just what i needed right then!!!!! Sympathy hugs going your way!

[yaya]

yep thats just how I feel! Today I caved, T was itchy so couldnt settle and I picked him up, put him down when he was sleepy and he went to sleep. Do u reckon the 'newborn' approach is better than nothing? what i mean is makign him sleepy then putting him down? just dont want to revert back to rocking but we r not always able to do the fallign asleep independently when health issues r present.

[LucyA]

Hey, he still fell asleep on his own in the cot, right? You'll get the itching sorted out soon and then you can attack the rest of it. xx

[Florencia]

I totally agree with lucy... when health is an issue you just have to do what keeps your sanity. Besides it's not AP, he went to sleep himself!!!

More hugs going your way!

[yaya]

Aww thanx girls, I rally need to be more consistent and strong. Last night it took him 1 hr (or just over) as he was REALLy overtired, but he managed it in the end, still think he has to TOTALLY re-learn as he fidgets soo much and doesnt use his lovey, just rolls around till he is shattered at which point I need to pat till calm (before I was patting to sleep) but I manage to stop patting and let him do the final mins of 'falling asleep' indep. So this is an improvement hey?! He doesnt really know how to settle himself which worries me as he was so good before, even if he started winging a bit he'd calm himself, now, I need to intervene.

Thank again, will keep u posted, keep the vibes coming my lovelies!

[Florencia]

I don't think it's a matter of relearn the soothing. I'm sure he remembers how to do it but he's been through a lot and right now he needs mommy around. When he gets back on track you'll notice you'll have to spend less and less time helping him. You're doing a GREAT job, keep at it!

[LucyA]

Hey sweetie, how did you go tonight? xx

[yaya]

well it's been a week now and I really dont think we've made much improvement. Yes, he falls asleep indep  but it takes at least 1 hr and he more passes out than falls asleep indep
nightwakings are still awful too so not sure we r getting anywhere!