Background...We have struggled with breastfeeding since the beginning but it has been very important to me. I started my journey (first child) with 8 weeks of thrush that was constantly misdiagnosed as a poor latch. By 6 weeks I was ready to give in because I was in so much pain. Eventually I demanded to be treated for thrush despite the doctor's opinion. Miraculously the symptoms disappeared within 3 days. I had a reoccurance a few weeks later but cleared it up quickly.
At our 4 month check up we discovered he had only gained 5 ounces in the past 2 months. Now the journey to determine supply issues began. I started out with an oversupply of milk. I had to lie on my back to feed because otherwise I would spray all over his face. I needed gravity to help me out. At 4 months my supply dropped dramatically. Working with doctor's, nurses and a breastfeeding clinic we did our best to increase supply naturally. It didn't happen. I went on Motillium, which worked wonders for a few weeks. Now it is losing its effectiveness.
I have had a stomach flu, which means no Motillium because I couldn't keep it down. I have also been dehydrated due to the vomiting. As a result my milk supply is at an all time low. I haven't been able to feel even the slightest bit full in a couple of days. He has been hungry and we have supplemented with formula.
I am starting to think the universe is trying to tell me something. I am toying with the idea of weaning. I set myself a goal of a minimum of 6 months for breastfeeding, so at least I have met that. However, I was hoping to go beyond six months to his first tooth and then go from there. It is going to be really hard for me since I have put so much work into it. I haven't decided whether I will actually do it yet. It makes me really sad but it may be the best thing for both of us.
How do others deal with this sense of loss?
