Trying to move toddler nap to a later hour without getting her o/tired

[Layla]

Hi ladies, I am trying to have the toddler and baby to sleep at the same times (more or less) in the afternoon and wanting to know what would be the "best" way to do it. Up until now, the toddler's day is like this:

6/6.30 wake up
11.30-12pm - nap (1.5-2.5 hrs)
6/6.30 - bed

The baby's schedule used to fit into the toddlers as she would take her nap around 11.30 BUT recently the baby has been cutting her afternoon nap to 30-45mins and it was suggested to me to increase her A times and put her down closer to 1pm. I realise that keeping the toddler awake till 1 will cause overtiredness so her nap started yesterday at 12.30pm. She slept for 2hrs (which was great) but unfortuately she did wake twice at night (very briefly and put herself back to sleep). I thought she might have slept in the morning since bedtime was moved to 7 but she was well awake by 6.30 (so probably woke up close to 6am).

Should I be delaying her naps by 15 mins or just keep insisting for a 12.30 nap and then her day should/will start later. Is 6.5 hrs awake in the morning too long? At the end of the day, if she is hitting the overtired state, I'll just put her back to her old schedule. I don't want to seem selfish but girls used to nap together in the afternoon, I got to do all the housework, cook dinner and finally have a break.

She was acting a bit cranky today so I put that down to the fragmented sleep at night. Maybe I am overreacting to the 2x nightwakings and to think they were caused by her nap being delayed 30 mins.
Any suggestions would be much appreciated.

How do those with 2 get the afternoon nap to start together?

Layla

[Critter]

I don't think you're at all selfish!

What if you split the difference and went for a 12:00 nap and shoot for a 7:00 bedtime.  Then after a few days, go for a 12:30 nap and 7:30 bedtime.  My ds is 18 months and here's his schedule

7ish wake up
12:30-2:30 or sometimes 3:30 nap
7:30 bed

[Florencia]

If the night wakings were easily solved I'd say her crankiness was a random thing. I was thinking she's going to bed quite early on days she has a 2.5 hr nap. A 7 pmish bedtime might help you get the schedule you're aiming for, just have to be really consistant at it.

HTH and good luck, remember it is a gradual process, so I'd follow pp's advice of reaching the desired schedule in 15 mins increments.

Good luck!

[Layla]

Thanks, I should have done the 15min increments instead of going to 12.30 straight away. The day before yesterday (day 2 of 12.30 nap), she woke up again at night and was extremely tired in the morning. We went shopping and she was crying by 10am & I felt so awful that I caused this tiredness. I put her down to nap at 11:30am (her more or less usual) and she slept till 1:40pm and bedtime was at 6:30pm. She fell asleep with no probs but about an hour later, she woke up crying hysterically and she had not done that in a very very long time. I did wi/wo and it took about 15mins before she fell asleep (thank God) and there were no night wakings. In the morning she woke up at 5.30am but was all happy and cheerful, so today I'll put her down for the nap earlier again. I think maybe I shouldn't bother and just have go to nap at different times. It seems like the change is made at her expence and I hate seeing her miserable. Maybe I'll give it another go in 15min increments once she seemed to have caught up with the sleep. Thanks for your suggestions,
Layla

[Florencia]

Wishing you much luck! I know how sometimes I BEG for naptime to come... if i had 2 i would need SO DESPERATELY that time for myself. Please don't feel guilty for needing (and wanting) it. I'm sure that if you make a gradual process you'll have success. We'll be waiting to hear from you!

[Carmela's Mom]

With my DD, I tried pushing her to nap at 2:00.  It worked for a few days and then she started not wanting to nap again.  Her normal nap time was noon.  So then I cut the difference and I put her in at 1:00.  Most days it works out well, but right now she has a cold and I think she's ready to go in sooner.

Our days look like this:

32 month old daughter
7:30 wake (she wakes earlier but plays in her room until I get her -- don't know what time she really wakes)
1:00 -3/3:30nap (usually doesn't fall asleep right away - will sleep for 1.5 hours)
8:00 in bed

7 month old son
8:00 wake up (wakes earlier but don't get him until 8:00)
10-11/11:30 (I wake him at 11:30 if he's not up to get him to take earlier afternoon nap)
1:45-4:45ish nap
8:00 bedtime

This works perfect as I get 1 on 1 time with Daugher while DS takes his morning nap and then I get 45 mins one on one time with DS while DD is in her room for nap. 

[Layla]

Carmela's mom - you are so lucky to have them both wake up when they do. I've been able to push her nap to 12.30 more or less and she's in bed by 7pm and wakes up b/n 6-6.30am. She seems to be doing much better other than the nightwakings we had at the start but tbh, I think they may have been related to teething as well. Her molar teeth are coming throu so she has to deal with that as well  . There is no way I'd be able to leave my baby/toddler in bed until a certain time - once they are up, they make sure to tell me about it so we're all awake pretty much by 6.30 (the latest). This is an issue for another thread, but my 7mo is having issues with her catnap and is waking up now at 5ish again and won't return to sleep. If I don't get her straight away, she'll end up waking toddler up that early as well. Its amazing that your baby gets to sleep for 3 hrs in the pm - I beg for more than 1hr nap!

Layla