Fighting each day at Naptime w/my older toddler

[Janice Anne]

Hoping someone out there has some good suggestions for me! My older toddler (2 years, 10months) hates taking a nap. Yup, nothing new for a toddler, but I'm finding my patience it running out all too quickly each day and I get more and more frustrated and angry with him. I end up making all sorts of threats to get him to take me seriously and to stay in bed. He definately needs a nap because he always starts getting cranky and rubbing his eyes at approx 11am. He tells me tired but then fights me even though we're both laying in bed and have read a nice story and sang a little song (our wind down routine). As soon as I walk out, he sneaks out of bed, stands at the door and say "Ha Ha!"

Any idea how to make this a more pleasant, or at the very least a less of a power struggle, process?

Thanks!

Janice

[imsmum]

What's his routine like?  I think a lot a toddlers your lo's age are at the stage of "one nap is too many; none, not enough." I find with my 26 month old that if she sleeps 11 + hours at night she will not nap until close to two pm and then only for an hour.  If she sleep about 10 hours she'll go down closer to 1 for 1.5 to 2 hours, but sometimes she then won't fall asleep until 8:30 or 9.  I think you have to continue offerring quiet time sometime in early afternoon even if he naps or not, to give you both a much needed break.  Does a sticker chart or reward system work for him?

[esthere]

While ds is still taking an hour nap, he sleeps for 12 hours and if its more, I give him quiet time instead of a nap, one thing I keep meaning to do is give him a little cd player for his room and on quiet time days play music or an audio book while he is resting.

[Mum to cool dude]

I can hear you, Janice. My DS has always resisted naps at home, so he usually sleeps in his car seat over the weekend 
Is your nap routine the same as your bedtime routine ? Last Saturday, I managed to get DS to nap in his cot by following the same routine. It helped that DH had been on the beers the night before and had gone for a nap too at the same time feeling a bit fragile   
Also, 11 am sounds early for a nap at his age - could he last a bit later at all ?

[Janice Anne]

I think a big part of the problem is because he gets up so early (5-5:30am) so come 11am he's dead tired. I've tried pushing it to later but he's such a bear to deal with in the meantime because he's so tired, and it doens't usually make a difference in how well, or not well he goes down for a nap.

Our naptime routine is very similar to our nighttime routine. We read a book and I sing a song then say night-night. I know this is more of a power struggle and a show of control on his part more than it has to do with him not being ready for a nap.

This may have a lot to do with having our new lo now(2months old) and even though ds#1 doesn't show any jealousy towards the lo, he may be chosing ways like naptime to act out his feelings.

Not sure. Just hoping someone has some advice?

Thanks

Anyone have any suggestions on managing power struggles with older toddlers?

Thanks

Janice

[Carmela's Mom]

First off, be consistent.  It doesn't sound like he's crying just playing so what I'd do is pick a wake up time, nap time and nap over time, and bed time.  So if he goes to sleep at 7:30 p.m. (just an example), I wouldn't get him until 6:30 a.m.  Then nap time is 12:00 p.m. and supposed to be 2 hours so I wouldn't get him until 2:00 (again as long as he's not crying).  Then bedtime again is 7:30.  Just be consistent.  Do your routine, shut the door and that's it.  Don't go back in until 6:30 a.m. in the morning and 2:00 for the end of nap. 

The way to deal with a stubborn toddler is not to.  They will get used to you being gone and learn that your not going to play his game, so he has to either sleep or not sleep. 

Someone on this board gave me GREAT advice. They said you can provide the time for her to sleep, but you can't MAKE her sleep.  That is so so so true.  And that's what I do.  She'll play, sing, read, etc., but she knows Mommy's not coming until nap time is over.  90% of the time she falls asleep within 15 mins now.

[Cecilia~Olivia's mom]

I'm dealing with the same issue..believe it's more of a power struggle & last molars coming in - BUT being constent is difficult when frustration hits it peak.  Good advise about "the way to deal with toddlers is not to"  I'll keep that in mind while she's up there calling me, again.  My problem is this...she wants to sleep later in the morning to make up the lost "nap" time.  I HAVE to get her up in the mornings (I cannot continue being late - I won't have a job to return too )when I return to work in the new year.  Is this th wise thing to do?  She'll be a miserable rotten little girl during the day for the care giver & 10x worse for mom & dad in the evening. 
...I'm about to pull my damn hair out right now, she's getting louder & Louder. ..I've never let her CIO, but she's 2.5 years old now, so now it's a matter of her taking me seriously & taking control back

[Janice Anne]

This is good advice if I could keep my lo from getting out of bed and opening the door himself. I obviously can't lock the door to keep hm inside. So not sure how to implement your advice.

Still working on different strategies myself and it seems the more attention I give in the day, the easier naps and bedtime are. It's difficult since I have a very high need 2.5month old as well now!.

Thanks everyone!

Janice

[Katet]

My advice is but a light on a timer, take him to his room & tell him he doesn't have to sleep, but he can read books/ play with quiet toys in his room until the light on the timer comes on... set for say 1.5 hours (or what ever time works for you) then when he comes out ask "is the light on?" if he says no, say ok then you'd better stay in your room... works well for the transition to no nap, but having quiet time & takes the power struggle between you & him out & puts the "power" on the light... just make sure though that he can't work out how to turn it on himself

[Janice Anne]

Great suggestion! I'll try it out.

Thanks!

Janice