Seperation Anxiety

[yaya]

Really not sure if this is the right place to post so feel free to move as necessary.
So, a few Qs re: SA. Is it 'normal' at 14mo?
Ds has really changed behaviour wise the last week or so and I really dont know how to deal with it. He is TERRFIED of me leaving him for some reason, he follows me everywhere and gets really upset if he doesnt see me go to the loo or anything liek that . He used to be fine with Dad and grandparents and family in general, now he cries sooo much if I'm not there. I'm a SAHM so we spend A LOT of time together.
We have had terrible nightwakings too.
How can I help him get over this? Is it better to leave him more often with my mum or stay with him more until he feels more confident?
I really dont know whats best at this age but I'm worried and dont want this escalating.

Any advice would be much appreciated! TIA

[Erin M]

Most advice I've heard regarding SA is to meet his needs by staying with him when he needs you to be there, as I've heard that if you try to force them to get over it, it just takes longer.  If he needs you to be right by him, work on moving away a bit, using your voice to make him feel comfortable.  Try leaving the room for very short periods of time - tell him, "I'll be right back, I need to go do x..." and talk to him while you're gone and come back quickly, gradually lengthening the period of time you're gone.  My DD got through the worst of it in a few weeks -- just long enough for me to get used to going to the bathroom with a small child on my lap.  Just think about how much he loves you

Playing games like peek-a-boo to establish object permanence works well too.

[Carys' mom]

Hi,

Sorry I can't give any advice - I'm facing the same thing right now with my 22 mo dd, so any advice would be MUCH appreciated. I'll definitely be watching this thread.

[Erin M]

Also, in answer to your first question, it is totally normal at 14 months.  Also, if you've never read this FAQ, I would because it has some useful information in it on SA
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=62612.0

[yaya]

thanx erin, very useful!

[rosie and joe's mummy]

rosie is like that at the moment - she hates being put down on the floor sometimes, and she hates to have me leave.  she's actually ok if she doesn't see me go, so if i give her something really interesting to do and then sneak off she's ok.  she doesn't seem to be finding that an issue (before anyone suggests that i'll make it worse doing that), as we've had this problem for about 4 weeks now.