I give up!

[lazfam]

Really, i just cannot take this anymore. It shouldn't drive me to tears like this. I've been doing EASY since day one, and our lo WILL NOT take a decent nap during the day if not in her stroller. Just FLAT OUT wont. I have sssh-pat, I have tried white noise, I have swaddled, I have pu/pd, I have decreased her activity time, I have increased her activity time. I mean. I've taken ALL the advice and tried it and nothing works. I'm driving myself crazy and I'm driving her crazy. She just sit in her crib and screams her head off and cries and carries on. I just dont think there is any hope for getting a decent nap out of her, and I cannot go off for a walk every 3 hours. If she wakes, I'm just going to let her lay there until she cries and then take her out. I cannot see any other way to get thru this anymore!!

[Cohensmom]

How old is your lo?  How often is she napping and for how long?

[Zoey]

Im sorry things are so hard at the moment.  I have BIG HUGS for you!  Do you want to tell us a little more about your day, and baby?  I think maybe if we all work together we can find a way to work through this for you and baby and come up with a great plan. 

Thinking of you,
Zoey

I looked back at some of your posts.  A baby with reflux is a real challenge, I speak from experience.  Do you think laying her flat is causing pain and that's why she can't sleep?   Do you think she needs some medication to help like Zantac?  I can say from experience if she is having discomfort from reflux, that she isn't going to sleep well until you can ease that discomfort somehow. 

Have you tried elevating the head of the cot?  Will she take a paci?  Are you still Bfing if so how is that going?  Have you tried an elimination diet of any sort.  Is she spitting up often?

I think she may like to sleep in the stroller b/c she is upright.  Have you tried a swing or bouncy seat at sleep times?   8w is too young for pupd so please don't try using that tool, its too overstimulating.

Perhaps she is taking long to eat and wanting to eat often because the milk soothes her throat?

Perhaps another visit to your pedi to discuss a plan for her reflux.  My baby suffered and had poor sleep for 4m until my doctor finally got sick of me and gave us Zantac for Owen.  We had a whole new baby and the pedi was eating crow.  I'm not saying meds are always a cure, but the plan you have now isn't working it seems, perhaps another one will.  This is a great website for reflux:  http://www.infantreflux.org/forum/default.asp  - you can also chat with other mom with reflux babies.  This site talk alot about what reflux is and why it hurts so much:  http://www.marci-kids.com/acidandpH.html

Look forward to hearing from you,
Zoey

[lazfam]

Hi, Thanks for writing. Her sleeping makes doing EASY sooo hard! If I wait until it's "time" to eat again after she wakes up early from a nap, she's exhausted and wants to fall asleep after eating. If I feed her when she wakes up early, she's not really hungry and will only snack a bit, which just makes the whole issue more of a problem because then she'll only sleep a short time and wake up for another snack.
Okay, my lo is 2 months old. We have had her on a 2.5-3 hour EASY, recently she's sort of moved to 3-3.5, though. In any event, we keep it roughly 6am, 9am, 12pm, 3pm, 6pm, 9pm, 12am, and then let her wake us up in the middle of the night. Her schedule is roughly this:
E 6am, wake feed
A 6:45-7:00/7:15am (I wait to see yawns and/or sleepy cries)
S 7:15/7:30am (includes the wind down
At this point, she'll usually wake up by 8am. From 8am to 9am, we struggle with trying to help her fall back asleep.
E 9am
A 9:45/10:15
S 10:30am (this is usually when we go for our stroller walk, this is her longest nap)
E 12:00pm/1pm (I let her wake up herself)
A 12:45/1:45 (depends on when she woke up)
S 1:30/2:00pm (depends on when she woke up)
At this point, sometimes she never falls alseep. She'll nap for abour 20 or 30 minutes and then basically cry or fuss until her 3pm feed
E 3:00/4:00 (depends on when she woke up from her last nap)
A 3:45/4:45
S cat nap until 6pm feed, although she only usually sleeps until about 5 or 5:30 IF she sleep. Sometimes she cries right thru this one too.
E 6pm
A 6:45pm (this is bathtime, massage, jammies and song)
S 7:15/7:30pm (she usually goes right down, maybe we have to go in 1 or 2x)
E 9/9:30pm (we feed her in her sleep, and put her right back down)
E 12/1am (we feed her in her sleep about 3-3.5 hours from her last feed and also depends on how much she ate, and put her right back down)
E 2am/4am She'll wake up anytime around there. We let her wake us. I'll feed her and put her right back down.

Doctor believes she has reflux. We've tried Zantac, but it didn't work. He wants us to up the dosage and try for 7 days. I'm on antibiotics right now, and lo has been wretching and throwing up I worried it was the antibiotics so we're bottle feeding formula and pumping. What we're seeing is our 2 month old is only eating 2.5-3.5 oz a feeding. Pediatrician said he expects 2 month olds to eat 4-4.5 or even up to 6 depending on their size. Also, she hasn't even gained 2 lbs since birth. So, their is a weight gain issue. I really do not know how to get her to eat more. When she breast feeds, she is very fussy and pulls off alot and after 45 minutes she is REAL tired, I'm still squirting, but we've basically reached the end of how much we can do.

 - So, anyhow, Zantac didn't seem to work but we'll try it again for 7 days.
 - She'll stay on formula and I"ll pump until 36 hours after I'm off antibiotics.
 - We raised her cot first thing about a month ago, so it is at an angle.
 - She pretty much loves her paci. Until we got her on that, she could have sucked my finger endlessly.
 - We tried adjusting my diet about a month ago too. I cut out anything that could even remotely be an issue. There was barely anything I could eat anymore.
 - She loves her swing and bouncy seat, until she gets tired. I've tried to help her fall asleep there, but she just cries.
 - I didn't realize 8 weeks was too young for pupd, I'll stop
 - swaddling is a mixed bag. I know when I hold her she likes to be real snuggly on me. But, when I swaddle her, she punches out of it and kicks out of it. When I tried to get her nice and tight she cries, and pushes out with her arms and legs. She is VERY active. I'm sure all parents say this, but she's started rolling over from belly to back at 6.5 weeks. She is really strong, all the doctors and nurses commented in the hospital, as does our pediatrician each time we see him. anyhow, it's hard to keep a good swaddle on her.
If there are any ideas for helping her nap, I'd be SO grateful. Mostly what I do not know what to do is how to handle it when she wakes up early. For example, if she eats at 6am for 45 minutes and then we have 15 minutes talking and burping and maybe a little in the swing, but 15 minutes total, then I start her 15 minute wind down so she's in her cot by 7:15...what do I do when she wakes up at 8:00am and isn't due to eat until 9am?

[Cohensmom]

Hi there,

I started baby whisperer when my lo was about 8 weeks old and I also had similar problems with trying to stick to the baby whisperer EASY plan because my lo had a different schedule when it came to eating and sleeping.  I feel that baby whisperer is a great tool to teach your baby to independent sleep and has some other great methods for ensure your baby isn't eating constantly and isn't associating eating with sleeping.  As far as the schedule goes, it just didn't work for us at that age and looking back now, I think he was just too young for that kind of routine.  He would scream constantly when he ate (probably cause I was feeding him before he was hungry) and was very overtired cause I was trying to keep him awake too long.  At 2 months old, my lo was needing to go back to sleep after about 45 minutes of awake time.  I would watch my lo really closely and when I would see that his movements would slow down, I'd pick him up, rock him a bit, then try to put him to bed awake and he'd fall asleep with barely any help.  This really helped ensure he was not overtired.  If your lo is having sleepy cries or yawns, she is probably overtired and it is too late.  You should try to catch her before that when you notice her movements slow down a bit or she stares off into space for a couple seconds.  Also remember that some babies will take short naps, which is also perfectly normal.  My lo at that age and even up until recently never napped longer than 45 minutes.  For him it was normal and I just had to accept it.

For us, it started getting SO much better when I started to really watch his cues for sleeping and eating and stopped watching the clock.  My child took more frequent short naps instead of long naps and would go longer than 3-4 hours between feeds.  Try not to get too caught up in the 3 hour EASY program and really watch your babies cues, especially since she has reflux as well. 

I really wish you the best, as I know how upsetting it can be..  Hope That Helps...HUGS!!

Michelle

 

[Zoey]

Hi there. 

Most often no one gets a true EASY.  Don't try not to worry about that part so much.  I think Tracys main idea was for us to watch OUR baby and follow their cues.  Easy was meant to help us not do AP like feeding to sleep, and it gives order to the day.  If you cant get there, its ok - you do what your baby needs.  Also, please don't ever feel you can't rock your baby or do anything else that feels right to you just because its not in the BW book   There is no "Right" or "Wrong" here, its what works for you and your LO and what feels good in your heart.  Here are a few things I have learned and that have helped me.  You take what works for you and leave what doesn't!   

Zantac - usually these meds take about 2 weeks to see some results - why?  Well when the acid comes up into the throat in burns the tissue, making it sore and raw.  The Zantac goes down and neutralizes some of the acid, then its not coming back up into the throat and burning it.  However it takes about 2 weeks for the esophagus to heal and not hurt anymore.  The Zantac needs a chance to work and her body a chance to heal, before you may see some difference.

Easy- I think a 3h Easy may be your best bet.  At this age they sleep alot!  At 8w your day is going to be alot of feed, change, cuddle, nap - repeat all day.  Prehaps something like this:

E: 6.00 wake up and feed
A: from end of feeding til 715 - then begin 4s's: https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=64277.msg478965#msg478965 and pat/shh (more below)
S: Asleep 7.30

E: 9.00 wake and feed
A: end of feed til 1015 - 4s's, pat/shh
S: Asleep 10.30

E: 12.00 wake and feed
A: end of feed til 115 -4s's, pat/shh
S: Asleep 1.30

E: 3.00 wake and feed
A: end of feed til 415 - 4s's, pat/shh
S: Asleep 4.30 - catnap for 30m

E: 5.00 wake and feed
A: Bath or cuddles, whatever
E: 6.00 feed again, 4s's, pat/shh
S: 6.30 Asleep

E: 10 or 11pm dreamfeed: https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=54662.msg382717#msg382717 This link is to how you DF while bottle feeding.  Feed through the night as she wakes.

This is a suggestion only, yours is much like this - this is from the BWSAYP book. This about what you will want to aim for, if you get it awesome, if not - don't worry

At her age, once you SEE sleepy cues, its too late and the Sleep window is closing.  You really want baby to be IN the crib before those sleepy signs happen, this way she will start to associate the crib with feeling tired and falling asleep.  Also this will help keep her from being overtired.  So looking at you routine, if you SEE sleepy cues about an hour after she wakes up, then you want to start your wind down (4s's) about 15m earlier then that so she is IN the crib when those sleepy cues happen - adjust your routine to reflect that.  Some babies can't stay up long periods, if an hour if what she can do, then that's it - wake, feed, cuddle and back to bed.  Make your Easy fit her

Feeding - What formula are you using?  We used Alimentum (the ready to feed kind is best IMO) and it has worked wonders for Owen.  Perhaps you can ask to try something special like this if you aren't already.  Regular formula may be too much on her tummy.  I would wake for feeds when they are due, and try not to feed any other times but the feed times (obviously unless she is starving and/or if your pedi has instructed you to do differently) this may help her start to take a full feed each time.  If she wakes early, unless she is starving, Id use rub/shh to help her back to sleep instead of feeing early. Always wake at feeding times. 

Pat/shh - Again, if she is in pain due to reflux nothing is going to help her sleep soundly until that is addressed.  If she is hurting try whatever you can to help her sleep until she is out of pain be it the swing, stroller, car rides - whatever.  We don't want to put expectations on her (learning to sleep) if she is hurting.  I don't mean to be a broken reflux record but I wouldn't want you pat/shhing your heart out and having her cry if she is in pain, know what I mean?
With reflux I'd rec not patting.  Rub instead, patting can hurt sometimes.  So, I would feed, burp (rub with burping too, same idea) sit upright for 15m, then head into her room.  Fix the room, change her, swaddle (Always use your best judgement with swaddling a baby that moves or rolls in the crib alot - but perhaps try this swaddle:  https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=1439.msg573283#msg573283)  Then up onto your shoulder and being rub/shh.  Now, maybe she likes humming, just soft speaking, soft singing, nothing - try different things to see what she likes.  Rub, maybe her back or bum or head - again find what she likes.  Once she is clam and relaxed place her in the crib on her side and continue your rub/shh there.  You want to continue til she is sleepying and then 10m past that.  If you stop before that, her eyes may pop open and you will have to start again.  I always would slow my rubbing down and my shhing, slower and slower - then stop.. instead of just abruptly stopping.  If she starts to cry and get worked up during your rub/shh, pick her up and over your shoulder again, and rub/shh there until calm again, and then back in the crib and rub/shh there.  This picking up and putting down isn't pupd and is fine to do.

Waking early - If she wakes early, go in - again up on your shoulder with rub/shh til calm and then back down into the cribt til sleeping deeply.  Always wake for a feed, and if you have been rub/shhing for 40m you should stop and take a break, offering a feed if she seems hungry or has been crying alot during it - then go back in and you can try again.  If all else fails steal some naps in the car, stroller, swing - where-ever she will sleep.

Using the paci is awesome, sucking create saliva which is a natural acid neutralizer.  Swaddling is important too, she may be failing out of it due to being overtired - if she is rolling and moving in the crib alot, use your best judgement with swaddling, you know your baby best.  You can use white noise and darken her room if you think it helps.  The 4s's wind down takes about 15m (the last 15m of your A time) and it was really helpful for us. 

BFing - I am sure you've been to the BFing boards, those ladies are so smart.  Did you cut out milk from your diet when you did that?  Has your pedi offered you any help or solutions regarding your BF or given ideas on how to increase her intake?  Does her know the cause of her reflux - could it be a milk protein issue?

That's all I can think of for right now.  I know you want her sleeping to get better, and I feel you there! 
Like I said before, if she is in pain from reflux sleeping isn't going to get any easier until that is fixed.   If she is uncomfy that is why she can't sleep, and that needs to be addressed.  If she is hungry because she isn't eating well, that could also have something to do with poor sleeping, and lastly Overtired makes sleeping and staying asleep very difficult - overtired babies can't settle, have a hard time going to sleep and wake early because they are restless. 

If she wakes early you go in and rub/shh her back to sleep, and wake her at her feeding time (see above).  It will feel like all you do is help her to sleep at first, and it will be - but its gets better. 

It would seem I have written a novel here.  I just really feel for you!  Anyhow, I hope something here is helpful! 

Hugs,
Zoey

[lazfam]

Hi,
First, Zoey, thank you so much for taking the time to write out a sample schedule. I really appreciate it! I went over it with my husband, and we will definitely try it. The only thing we're unsure of is the 5pm E, A, 6pm E... Knowing our girl it might be hard to get her to eat 2x in a row. We'll give it a shot, though!

Cohensmom, when your lo woke after 45 minutes did you just get him up? Did you ever have and E and then S situation?

Okay, so it sounds like I'm waiting too long to do the wind down. I must be doing something right at night because she always (knock on wood) goes to sleep at her bedtime. It's either the timing, or the routine...probably both. I do know that I still don't have a great nap routine down. I want to differentiate it from bedtime because she will wake up after it, but so far it doesn't feel like much of a routine. I guess she probably senses that too. I will also try to be more aware of when her movements start to slow down.

We started the Zantac tonight with her before bedtime feeding, hoping that it'll help her during the night. The poor thing was just crying out in pain in her sleep during her nap after her 3pm feed. I was in our office and I heard her and looked at the monitor and she was still. I heard her again and I went in her nursery, and she was just crying out, eyes closed. I put my hand on her stomach and she calmed down. I basically had to do that for the duration of her nap to keep her sleeping. Her belly must really be hurting. I did notice, while I was standing there, that she was startling herself with her arms quite a bit. I've seen the australian swaddle on this website. I didn't try it, though. The regular swaddles one can buy just wont hold her in. I will try the the Australian swaddle.

Our pediatrician didn't tell us the Zantac took 2 weeks. In fact, I called specifically to ask that and he said it "should" work right away. That is why we took her off it. We'll stick it out this time and see if it makes a difference after 2 weeks. Thank you!

I often worry if she's getting overtired eating. She takes SO long to eat. Nibble, stop, burp, nibble, look around, burp, nibble, go to the bathroom, nibble, cry...and so on. It truly takes me 30-45 minutes just to feed her. Then we have to keep her upright for 15 minutes so she doesn't throw it all up.

Right now we are using Gentlease. We tried the alimentum and it didn't seem to make much of a difference. I'd try it again, though. We didn't give it much of a shot, my husband was sort of weirded out by it. I really cannot explain it.

Okay, so I'm hearing that I should try to coax her to sleep longer if she wakes and really try not to feed her before her next feed time, unless she's acting hungry for some reason.

I have been BFing, but for 2 reasons I am not right now. 1) I am on antibiotics. It shouldn't really affect her, but with her increased belly problems right now while I'm taking it...and the fact that it's making me nauseas...I can't help but make a connection. Doctor and I decided to do formula until 36 hours after I stop taking the antibiotics (tomorrow). 2) she's not gaining weight well. If you count the weight she lost at birth, she's gained 2.5 lbs. If you don't count it and just go from her birth weight, she's only gained about 1.8 lbs. In particular, she's only gained 9 ounces in the past month. So, the pediatrician really wants to see "how" much she's eating at each feeding. We have noticed that whenever we give her a bottle, she really only eats 2.5-3 ounces of forumula or breast milk. If she eats 3.5 or 4 we're shocked. We didn't think there was anything odd about that until we started talking to our friends who have babies all within a week of us (4 of us girls all got pregnant at the same time!), and their babies are all much bigger and eating 4-5 ounces a feeding. So, our pediatrician really wants us to monitor how much she's eating. BUT, to answer your question... yes, I tried cutting out dairy, wheat, peanutbutter, nuts, anything spicey (even remotely), eggs, all gassy vegetables, beans, garlic and onions. Nothing seemed to impact her either way.

I really, really, really appreciate your help. Thank you for writing a novel! It gives me hope that there is going to be a way to sort this out.

My husband and I were talking today, and much like you wrote, Cohensmom, we're sort of feeling like we need to take a break from "the rules" and really pay attention to our daughter. Maybe she's trying to tell me something and I'm too busy paying attention to what I think she's "supposed" to do, rather than who SHE is. It's hard not to worry about doing the right thing. I want her to sleep well so she's happy and rested...and for her development. ...It's just hard.

[Cohensmom]

When Cohen woke up after a 45 min nap, I did just get him out of bed cause that's all he would sleep and that was normal for him.  It did mess up the EASY plan for E, A, S.  For a couple months I did get really caught up in the whole EASY routine/schedule, even though the book makes it clear that you're suppose to really watch your baby, but I just had this hope that if I did exactly what it said, I would have this perfect little happy baby.  Well unfortunately it made me miserable and Cohen miserable cause it just wasn't working.  He screamed every single time he ate, to the point I thought he had reflux.  I brought him to the doctors constantly wondering what was wrong with him and no one could explain it.  Then my nurse told me that there was nothing wrong with his eating, but rather this all had to do with me.  I was getting so stressed out about trying to get him to eat within the times and sleep within the EASY that I WASN'T watching his cues or really looking at what HE needed. 

At your lo's age, you REALLY need to watch her.  If you have to rock a little, do it.  I would use the techniques in BW but would just modify them a little so it worked for us.  As far as swaddling, if it doesn't work for her, then don't use it.  Cohen was swaddled for the first couple weeks, and then after that, he didn't want it, so we didn't use it. 

If your lo is taking 30-45 minutes to eat, I would think maybe she's not hungry enough and maybe can go longer between feedings?  Just a thought.  Of all the research I've done, they do recommend waiting until 3 months old to put your baby on a strict schedule.  Looking back now, Cohen really started doing really well around 4 months old, and by 4.5 months he was sleeping 10-12 hours through the night, even with 3-4 45 minute naps a day.  He was just never a long napper so he needed them more frequently.  Just now at almost 10 months old is when he is taking a long nap of almost 2 hours.  This never happened before.

The best advice I can give is to watch your baby cues, let her sleep when she is tired (I believe not waking her to feed her), and let her feed when she's hungry.  When she gets a little older is when you can try to direct the times of her feedings and naps.  If you're miserable and she is too, then you need to do what works for you both, even if that means swaying from the plan and methods a little bit. She is still very young and you need to make you both happy.

Michelle

[Claire Anne]

All I can add is when things get difficult make sure to try - and I know it's hard - to get even the smallest amount of time out for yuorself. 10 minutes might even help! I had a very difficult time with my DS at that age also and should have taken my own advice then! It is hard not to get totally wrapped up in it.
And (eventually!) all these things do pass.
HIT!!!

[lazfam]

Thanks so much I do feel better. Doctor scared me about her weight, though. He wants us to be sure she's getting 4 ounces every 3 hours. Amazingly enough, so far so good. The takes down the first 2.5 in NO time. After that it is slow going, lots of burping. She stays with it, but she is much slower at it. He also upped her zantac. We'll see! Last night she slept thru the night. ...sort of. We fed her at 6pm, then in her sleep at 9:30pm and in her sleep at 12:30am. My husband does the 9 and 12 feedings so I can sleep and be ready to be up with her in the middle of the night and early in the morning, and he sleeps thru that. Anyhow, I woke up at 5:15 terrified. I shook my husband, DID YOU FEED HER??? I ran to the monitor in the living room and she was asleep. Slept until 6:08am. I couldn't believe it. She would not have slept without food, but she stayed down the whole time. Of course, this morning she slept for EXACTLY 45 minutes for her first nap. I went in and tried to help her fall back asleep. Her head was back and forth, eyes wide open...I picked her up and ssshhhh and rubbed her back. She got really quiet. I sat down with her and just kept doing it. Then she started jolting and jerking her head around. I changed her position and there was lots of restless activity, but her eyes stayed shut until 5 minutes before her next feed time. On the one hand, I think just let my baby be and she'll tell me what she needs. On the other hand, I think she's only 2 months how does she know exactly what she needs?

[Claire Anne]

Better than anyone, she will know what she needs, because she'll go purely on instinct and basic animal need, while we adults keep trying to logically process it all and wind up no better off!!! 

[angie&lane]

I'm certainly no expert - I just wanted to add that it can take 6-8 weeks for dairy to completely be flushed from your system.  I was recently tested for food allergies and found out I was allergic to dairy (not surprising), but what I didn't know is that it's a delayed reaction allergy (meaning that I don't have a reaction to the dairy I eat until 2 or 3 days later).  That can make it really confusing (I've noticed my lo reacts to my eating dairy about the same time I do).  Also keep in mind that most formulas are dairy-based.  You can ask your ped about it, but my sister-in-law had really good results with a formula called Nutramigen (it's dairy-based, but pre-digested, or something like that).  It's very expensive, but she said it's the only thing that didn't make her first lo scream.  Just a few thoughts...good luck!

[Zoey]

Hi, Im sorry I haven't been around!  We had a horrid fever and ear infections and throat infection at my house - first time he has been ill so we were totally freaked out lol!

How are things going?  Are you feeling better about your situation?  Believe it or not they are kinda programmed knowing how much to eat.  I also think, especially BF babies if you offer a feeding most any time, they will accept it but not take as much which is how you get into that snacking cycle.  I think your pedi is spot on!   Nutramigen and Alimentum are the same one is by similac or by enfamil they are both great.  The milk proteins are borken down some to ease digestion for babies with difficulty with milk protein or have issues with porducing alot of gas (colickly).  Gentlease (I think thats what you said you were using)  is also good as it has reduced lactose AND broken down proteins.  When you begin to BF again, maybe watch her closely for increased discomfort if you are consuming any milk products yourself.

I am glad your pedi upped her zantac.  Know that this med is dosed by weight and as she gets heavier she will need it adjusted.  You are very lucky to have a doctor that knows about reflux and treats it, very lucky!

As far as sleep, thats a choice you will have to make.  Some believe babies need to be taught how to sleep and encourage when to sleep, some don't believe that at all.  Some feel baby needs a routine of some sort so they can begin to know what comes next in the day.  Some feel baby needs to make her on routine and we follow.  I believe its someplace in the middle.  I let Owen sleep as he wanted for the first 4m.  He only slept on me and it was for 2 30-45m naps a day and up every 2h at night.  I felt I was letting him show me and that felt right for the first 4m, but that it was time to show him since things weren't going to hot - he was overtired and crabby as was I lol.  That's when I went looking and found BW.  Our world has been so much more restful, happy and organized for him and I.  Oragnization of our day, for me was key with having a baby with reflux.  But that was me and my baby.  You too, will find your way Im sure of it.

I think its best to do what is in your heart and what feels right.  When and if that stops working or stops feeling right, is when you look for another way.  BW has worked for us for 8m and we continue to apply the ideas and thinking - but if this way stops working for us, we will surely be finding a new way.  Pull the ideas out of BW that you like and leave the ones that don't quite fit into your life.

How long after 6:08am did you try for her nap? 

I hope you are in a good place emotionally.  Know you aren't alone and this time is new and unknown - for you, but also for her.  You are a great Mommy!  Its great she slept!  I hope you slept well too!

Be well, and don't forget to take care of yourself too
Zoey

[lazfam]

Hi there, Sorry it took me so long to get back here I'm so sorry you've been sick at your house. We've had a nasty stomach virus going on around here.
I'm doing pretty good, I think. Today was a better day. I seemed to have my wits about me a bit more. When I put her down for her morning nap, I went back into her nursery 40 minutes into it and waited...At exactly 45 minutes she started to stir. I put my hand on her chest and stroked her forehead for about 20 minutes. She finally settled down and I left the room and slept for another 30 minutes. A perfect nap! Her next nap was in her stroller while I was out for my exercise walk and errands around town. Her next nap I wasn't so lucky. I did the same thing, but I couldn't settle her with my hands. So, I ended up picking her up and holding her for the rest of it in the rocker. She was VERY restless, though. I did notice that 1) she gets tired A LOT earlier than I realized. I really, REALLY watched her today. 1 hour after she wakes, she's ready for her wind down. When I put her down, she goes right to sleep...it's just staying asleep that is the trick. That brings me to the next thing I noticed, 2) for her early evening catnap at 5pm, it's dark out and dark in her nursery (we have light flitering blinds, not black out) and she stays asleep right thru the 45 minute mark. I wake her up. So, I am thinking to get black out curtains. I didn't want to because I wanted her to get used to sleeping in the semi light so she can nap no matter where we are, as a super dark room might not be available to us...such as at day care, for example. So, anyhow it was a good day. I don't feel so hopeless today.

Zoey, are you saying you think my pedi is spot on to make sure our lo (Ava) gets 4 ounces at every feeding? On that subject, she's taking it down with no trouble. I don't force her if she wont finish, but she finished even more today. At one feeding she had five ounces. I wonder if she wasn't taking more because we weren't offering her more. She is developing well, she's smiley, she looks healthy, etc. She's not losing weight. So, I figure I'm not going to force feed her. I'll offer to her and let her tell me if she wants more. 

I am the type of person where I want to know what is coming next, and how to plan my day. I do like things organized, so the routine is important to me. I can't disregard it. But, I found I was getting obsessed with the routine and when it wasn't working exactly, I was getting really upset. So, that is no good either. I agree with you. I think a routine is somewhere in the middle too. I think I have a responsibility as a parent to help guide my daughter, but I also know my daughter is her own person and I have to respect who she is.

I can't remember what time I put her down after her 6:08 wake anymore. I can say that up until today, I had been putting her down 1.5 hours after she woke. Today I found that she went down really easily when I started her wind down 1 hour after she woke and she was in her crib, eyes shut by 1.25 after she woke.

I cannot say enough how helpful you all have been. Thank you so much for your advice, and support. I really appreciate it! I'm sure I'll be back with more questions. I'm sure we're not out of it yet. But, for now...you've all gotten us thru this little hurdle. XO

[Zoey]

Zoey, are you saying you think my pedi is spot on to make sure our lo (Ava) gets 4 ounces at every feeding? On that subject, she's taking it down with no trouble. I don't force her if she wont finish, but she finished even more today. At one feeding she had five ounces. I wonder if she wasn't taking more because we weren't offering her more. She is developing well, she's smiley, she looks healthy, etc. She's not losing weight. So, I figure I'm not going to force feed her. I'll offer to her and let her tell me if she wants more.

I think he is spot on about feeding her every three hours, offering at least 4oz.  What I did was always put an ounce more then I thought he was going to take, that way it would be there if he wanted it - but I always stop when he stopped and left it at that.  I think what you are doing is fabulous.


I think I have a responsibility as a parent to help guide my daughter, but I also know my daughter is her own person and I have to respect who she is.


I couldn't agree more!

I think watching her is most important and build your routine around her.  I will say that she may become dependant on the really dark room.  I say this from experience because Owen is almost one and I have tried to take the tin foil off the windows a few times now and have had to put it back up.  But that is a choice we make - and one you will have to also.  Just because Owen became dependant on the darkness doesn't mean Ava will.  Owen will still sleep elsewhere just not for more then 45m or so.

I hope things continue to improve for you!  Let us know if you need anything.  Good Luck!
Zoey