unexplained fear

[rosie and joe's mummy]

sorry if this is in the wrong place but i didn't know where to put it.

rosie has had this problem for about 6 months.

she is terrified of anything that makes a mooing cow noise and I mean TERRIFIED - absolutely uncontrollable hysteria if she hears any sort of cow noise, either real, grandparents trying to make silly noises, or on any of those noisy electronic toys!

i have no idea how it started, but it's actually getting a bit of a pain, because i work on a dairy farm so she gets to see cattle regularly, and also because my in laws seem to think that the more they do it to her, the more likely she is to get over it!

has anyone elses baby had an irrational fear of noise like this? and did they get over it? when??

[Caroline-Charlies Mummy]

No advice I'm afraid, but I wanted to watch this thread b/c ds is TERRIFIED of the vacuum cleaner. He screams the house down at the noise, and if I even go to touch it, he shouts 'Mummy, Mummy' and gets upset, as if he's worried it's going to hurt me. I have to keep it out of sight at all times or it just worries him all day

[Shdef]

DS got pretty scared of a lot of things recently. For some things I know how it happened, for others I don't. When DS can't explain what something is or where it comes from or when something gave him a fright he will be scared of it in future. He is scared of the hoover, petrified of a little hand puppet in teletubbies, hates his buzzing and moving crawling turtle, scared of some strangers and other not at all (is weird with my gran, loves my dad)... I hope this does go away soon...

[mari]

Sorry can't help about the noises, but Caroline, what about getting Charlie a mini hoover, one like yours if you can get one, it worked for a friend of mine, she loves to hoover with mummy now, it took her mind off the big hoover.

[Caroline-Charlies Mummy]

Ooo mari, that's a great idea, thanks

I just mentioned it to dp, can you guess what he said?

'Will it be a working one, so we can get him to do the hoovering?'

I don't think child labour was quite what you had in mind, was it?

[mari]

This is what Alex got for Christmas and it picks up the bits of paper left after the Arts and Crafts in the play room   

http://www.casdon.co.uk/product_pgs/prod_564.html

Who said child labour was a thing of the past!!!

[Erin M]

I would definitely validate her fears - I'm guessing you probably don't know why this all started, but she's entitled to have her own fears.  First off, make your ILs stop mooing at her, IMO that's incredibly disrespectful to her and it's certainly not helping. 

When she gets upset, I would validate her fears, explain that it's ok that she feels scared and afraid - you can give her feelings some words which will help too.  She's little still, but they understand so much at that age.  Is she afraid of cows too or just the mooing?  It must be hard for her with you working at a dairy farm -- will she let you bring her closer to the cows if you ask permission?  Maybe working your way closer and closer to them -- getting her permission first -- would help her to get over it.

Hope some of this is helpful.

[Katet]

I agree with Erin, you IL are just making the fear worse, also  validate her fears with a simple statement "that noise scares you doesn't it" don't try to tell her what to feel ie don't say "it's not scary", but then say something like "lets move away so we aren't so close to the noise that frightens you"
My almost 3yo HATES the vacuum... mostly dh or I do it when the other can take him out somewhere, but when that isn't possible, I tell him I am going to do it & suggest he plays outside/his room or goes somewhere where it isn't so loud & he is ok with that, but only if I do it a bit at a time... he also complains about other noises so I know it is part a sensory issue... like I HATE dripping taps

[rosie and joe's mummy]

i actually started working on the dairy farm to try and get her over it. I'm a doctor really, but my friends have a dairy farm and I grew up on a farm so I decided to do help them out for a bit and try to get her used to cows.  TBH she's quite good about real cows, she likes to stroke them.  it's if she hears the noise and doesn't see the cow.


and yes the in laws are very disresrectful about it. and that's not the only issue they're like that with, but they had 5 children so they know better than me.  it's a real pain.

she does also have instant terror with some strangers, usually old men to be honest, but she wasn't scared of santa, which surprised me, because she is a bit wary of men with beards (despite having a beardy grandad).

she's cool about the hoover though, that really doesn't bother her at all.

funny aren't they?

[Mariek]

Is your MIL scared of anything (spiders for example?). I certainly hope so, and if she is you should get the biggest, hairiest, most gangly-legged spider you can find and chase her around the house with it shouting "it's okay, it's only a spider, stop being silly"...... okay, well, maybe not but it would be nice revenge on behalf of your DD!

I think you definitley need to stand up for your DD on this one and ask your ILs to stop with the mooing if it really upsets her. If they give you grief about asking them just say that you can't understand why loving Grandparents would deliberately want to inflict fear and upset onto their Granddaughter. That ought to shut them up.

love

[Shdef]

she's quite good about real cows, she likes to stroke them.  it's if she hears the noise and doesn't see the cow.

I would definately make the IL stop then. Scotty is disturbed when he hears noises from certain things and can't see them. It might not be the noise itself, it is just that she thinks a COW goes MOO, why do my IL go MOO they are not COWS?

[rosie and joe's mummy]

do not worry I am not scared of telling them to get lost when they are being a pain with regards to rosie - to the point where it's caused genuine problems between me and DH!!

MiL is scared of cats - which we have 2 of, if only i could train them to sit on her!!

[rosie and joe's mummy]

rofl!

i'd SOOOOOO love to do that!  that and shove her into the stable with the horse - who she also thinks i should have sold because I wouldn't "need" a horse now i have a baby - sorry can you ride babies?  i never knew that!

if i went into what a pain in the bum she's been since i first said i was pregnant (bear in mind i am actually NOT a baby person, never wanted kids, and fell pregnant whilst taking the pill), i'd be here all night and you'd die of fright!

[Erin M]

Honestly it sounds like you're doing a great job letting her get through it herself, just reassure her like Katet mentioned.  I'm sorry about your ILs though it sounds like you've got the situation as under control as you can get it.