cio or crescendo?

[marijke]

I need some advice, last night I let my lo (4.5 months) cio for a couple of minutes after going in and out his room for 1.5 hours (he already woke 2 times earlier this night)... He eventually stopped crying and fell back asleep for 2.5 hours... I really felt terrible afterwards but I just couldn't do it anymore, after 4.5 months of sleep deprived nights I'm so exhausted! My midwife (I think that's how you call her, she followed and guided my pregnancy and giving birth) said he's now at an age where he knows he can trust you and you can let him cry for 10 - 15 mins. I know Tracy said something about 3 crescendo's and then they fall asleep... I don't know what to do anymore, please some advice...

[Kimberly®]

I agree with Stacy.
It'll take time and patients to really be able to know all your LO's cries. I must admit there are times still where that can be hard. Especially if I'm tired. Night time would be even worse.

I don't believe in CC or CIO and neither does Tracy, however if you feel its a mantra cry (some call it a phantom cry) then by all means wait a few minutes. I wouldn't recomend more then 3-4 minutes before interviening, go to your child and just let him know that you are there for him. When then when he stops fussing then leave again.

Having said that if it is taking 1.5 hours or more to settle your LO I would actually suggest he may in fact be hungry. Its not uncommon for a LO of his age to need a feed. Have you tried feeding?

[marijke]

Thanks, but I think if I stay with him the crying won't stop... but I'll try. I don't know if he has a mantra cry, it ALWAYS escalates, he cries really really loud (and it always feels like my heart is being ripped out, very exhausting!). We'll see what tonight will bring...
This 1.5 hours to settle was after a feed...

[Kimberly®]

oh dear.. might he be gassy?? have you tried gas drops? My DD always needed gas drops at night.
I know your frustration. DD was like that too. For the longest time I was at a loss. If he's crying that hard then maybe pick him up untill he calms (using pat/shh) then lay him down when he calms and continue pat/shh if it agitates him stop and step out of the room for a moment.
Not sure about your LO but with mine her Mantra was hard to read for a while, it sounded very much like a "real" cry.

Keep us posted.

[marijke]

Well actually he often needs to fart and then he cries too, we're going to the ped tomorrow so I'll ask about the gas (maybe it's from the medication he takes for his reflux?).
We really can't distinguish mantra from real cry, but we'll try and listen harder...
I don't think he was still hungry last night because afterwards he could wait a long time until the next feed. I think he's just wide awake after the feed (maybe gassy too) and can't fall asleep easily? If I go in he starts smiling and giggling, and if I go out of his room he starts crying... He does this a lot!

[Colin Macs Mom]

At 4.5 months he still has a lot to learn about the world, and sleeping for that matter. You can expect that he'll still wake at night for a bit and feed, but I'm glad you're going to see the ped. It does sound like something physical's going on as well.

[marijke]

I guess it must be his mantra cry after all because I've let him cry for a couple of minutes the last few days and he went back to sleep until 7 even 7.30! After 4.5 months of waking up at 5.30 -6 this feels like heaven... Ped said medication takes 2 more weeks to have its full effect so wait and see... But it's already getting better I think (but I thought this a lot already).

[Rach03]

What is crescendo?

[marijke]

It's when they cry louder and louder, then more silent and then louder again, 3 times and then they fall asleep (if I understood it well).

[Shdef]

marijke, Scotty at that age would cry when put to bed and only stop once I left the room. If he saw me standing by the cot and all he wanted was out, if he didn't see me he was going to sleep happily. I think he just didn't have the idea that I WOULD come back, he just seemed to forget that mummy exists at all and was quite happy. Only when he was 13 months and spent a few days in hospital with me (the cot was right next to the parents bed) that changed. Some babies don't want the whole fuss, they actually want to be left alone to go to sleep, Scotty has always been like that until SA kicked in, now it is all different. Try and stay in the room with him, but don't let him see you, that always worked for us as well.... Good luck!

[marijke]

Thanks, staying in the room doesn't work for us, he knows you're there and won't go to sleep. I go out if he's quiet, he'll start to cry, I wait for 1 minute, go in and give his paci (I know it's a prop but it works and for now that's all that matters...). The last few days have been so much better, at night he only wakes to be fed and then goes back to sleep! Even his morning nap was great, 1.5 hour without waking!!! I guess he just really needed this medication and now he can sleep...

[Colin Macs Mom]

That's great marijke!!

[marijke]

I knew I shouldn't have said this... No last night was ok, slept from 21.30-2.30 but then stayed awake until 4.30! No dirty nappy, no pain, just wide awake and couldn't fall asleep? Could this be because he's never slept 5 hours in a row and he was well rested (at 2.30  )? Or we put him to bed too early (18.30) because he doesn't do a catnap?

[Kimberly®]

OK I admit it I am never good with military time..
what time is 18:30??

[marijke]

It's 6.30 in the evening (in Belgium we write it this way sorry).
Wow, Losec seems to work great, today 2 naps of 2 hour and now catnap, he's NEVER done this before! Ok, woke up a couple of times but really wanted to sleep some more... 
Hope he can still sleep tonight!!!