post christmas pickiness

[Liliben]

DS is 26 months and has alsways been generally a good eater. Though he goes through phases of not eating something, like say no pasta for a couple of months I've alsways carried on regardless and then he'll eat it again and it will become a favourite out of the blue. He's benn avoiding some vegetables for a few months but he still has them on his plate and will eat them if he;s very hungry. I've always tried to put something I know he will eat alongside something he will not and then try and balance out the dessert dependent on what he's eat from his meal. Unfortunately since Christmas he's gone on strike. He hasn't had many chocolates but relatives seemed to think they were allowed to lavish stuff like that on him now that he's two. At meal times he won't even try his meal and will demand chocolate instead. Before this he would usually compromise and eat one mouthful of something he wouldn't particularly like before moving on to dessert but now he digs his heels in. I haven't been giving in and just binned his meal. This leads to a tantrum; something we're not used to either. Am I doing the right thing? I hate to see him distressed but I don't want this pickiness to continue. Also how long do you wait before binning it? DH and I don't get stressed about it but I'd rather nip it in the bud.

[Lana]

Well if it is important to you that he eat his supper and not dessert then you are doing the right thing. 

Mine is  a bit older now but what I would do if he was demanding dessert and not eating would be to tell him that is supper/lunch/breakfast/snack.  If he said he didnt want it then I would say ok and take it away clean him up and let him get down.  If he was upset I would name the feelings for him "I can see you are frustrated/upset "  Then you can try again in about 10 or 15 minutes to eat the meal. 

Really if he is hungry then he WILL eat

HTH

[Lana]

I also wanted to say that i would probably not have dessert at all for  at least a couple of weeks and then introduce it again.

[Jaime]

what Lana said.   

i have also been known to save said plate of food... for when the child said they were hungry an hour later. 

[Liliben]

Thanks for that. I want to re-iterate though that as long as he tries (even a mouthful) his food he is allowed to have his dessert without any fuss. It never happened often and I respect that now he does dislike some foods. But since Christmas he is not wanting to try any food (meal or dessert) and says that he just wants chocolate. How long do I persevere with him to try before taking him down from his chair? 10 minutes? I always do help him with his feelings and tantrums are few and far between and don't last very long but he is quite stubborn.

[Jaime]

TBH, i have never really forced my kids to stay at the table if they do not want to eat.  i may try for about 5 minutes, and ask them "are you sure you don't want anything to eat?", but if they are sure, then i tell them to take their plate into the kitchen. (and put it on the counter instead of in the sink, which is where empty plates go).

obviously, this does not work in a restaurant setting, but they seem to have no problem on the occasions when we are eating out - they just eat lots & lots of bread.     

also, we do not do dessert on a regular basis here.  they rarely get stuff from us (as we usually wait to haul out the chocolate until they are in bed!  ).  however, i have no problem letting them have stuff at birthday parties & holidays & the like.  like lana said, it may help if you just don't have any dessert for a couple weeks; kinda 'detox' his system, as it were.

it does sound like a battle of wills, and i think if you can just be more patient (stubborn!) than your ds, he will eventually be hungry and he will eat.

[Lana]

Basically I would let him get down right away if he says he doesnt want what you are eating.  And I wouldnt give him dessert after only one bite either.  Especially if you know that you are serving him something that he previously ate KWIM?

[Liliben]

Thank you. Will try that.

[Lana]

Hey how are things going now?  any better?

[Liliben]

A lot better. To be homest once everyone was back in the swing of things with work after Christmas and he accepted that the choccies had all finished he realised that there was no other option than to eat what was given to him. Thanks!

[Lana]

Way to go

Glad to hear that it improved