Support for Mum's of LO's 16-19months with sleep issues

[aidenmc]

How the best laid plans go awry...

So, I was going to put Aiden down for his nap before lunch to try to prevent the overtiredness that shortens his nap and to help him catch up on sleep. I brought a snack for him to eat in the car on the way home from Montessori. But, we are in the midst of a snowstorm so the ride home took extra long. He was upset already when I went to get him (tired) and was drifting off in the car, not eating his snack. I did what I could to keep him awake and brought him inside, into his room to take off his boots and put him to bed.

This is where it gets pathetic on my part. Aiden freaks at being put into his bed. He is still clutching his sandwich and will not let go. I think...it will take forever for him to get to sleep now and he hasn't eaten a thing. So I get him up, bring him into the other room where he normally has his wind down, so that we can read a book and he can eat a little. He won't eat but wants to nurse. I never nurse before sleep any more and it took a long time to break this habit! So I nursed him , rationalizing that at least he will have something in his belly when I finally do get him to sleep.

After the nursing and a quick story I bring him back to him room sing to him a little and put him down. He still won't let go of the sandwich! Where a week ago dh could put him down and leave the room, I am now patting his bum, singing etc., anything to get him to sleep asap because he is overtired and I am tired of him being overtired! He is fairly calm now and starts eating his sandwich in his pitch black room in his bed while I am still patting and singing and willing him to sleep. After a while I decide that the darn sandwhich is keeping him from falling asleep. So I take the sandwhich away. Screams erupt, he sits up and becomes more and more upset and gets farther and farther away from sleep. Great!

So, I give him back the sandwich whereupon he calms down again, takes maybe another bite and falls asleep to me still patting his bum. Is that enough to win the bad mother prize? All of this is because I am sure that if I get him caught up on sleep he will sleep better and we will all be much saner around here!

Anyway, I thought that might be some entertainment for some of you other mommies who are doubting yourselves and what you are doing. I am trying to see the humour in it and vowing not to do it again!

[kirsty_167]

HI.......we all do things to do anything just to get our Los asleep....i got rid of Jakobs dummy on the weekend and he wasnt amused but when i went to put him in bed he wanted his tube of teething gel.Man did he want it.When he held it he was calm so i lay him down in bed etc.......but trying to get it off him was useless....scream,scream,scream.....he went to sleep holding it that day!!! ( i only let him do it that day as he was soooooooo tired from his NWs)

See we all do things just for any relief from this viscious overtired cycle!! You arent alone ...i actaully think your posting was so cute...i could just picture it. Such a photo moment!!!

Take care
Kirstyxx

[daisymelan]

Becky, sorry to hear how rough the nap went.  We have all been there.   

[JoC]

Becky, bless you, that did make me laugh.
My time with ds is strewn with incidences of me doing ANYTHING to make him sleep so i could sleep so i would not be tired when trying to make him sleep when he should (and i should) be sleeping!
Hugs X

Jo x

[PeepersMom]

Becky we have all been through the "crazies" when we want our lo's to sleep. Some of us (myself included) live in the crazies and have only a little bit of calm.  LOL  I am sure I have posted a few similar stories.  In fact sounds like something I would do b/c I would be paranoid he wouldn't sleep well if he didn't eat.  ugh

Lately this has been our problem.  It is taking PJ hours to fall asleep at night.  He is tired his usual time, we do bedtime routine all the same and I put him down and sometimes up to 2 hours later he is still awake.   I have tried rocking him, not rocking him, down earlier, down later, he just won't fall asleep.  He was in the room at 630 tonight (usually bedtime it 630-7) it is now 8:20 and i hear him singing up there.  Noises I have never heard him make. He is just fighting falling asleep.  it is like he is making up things to do just to prevent falling asleep.  It seems to have started when we went on vacation a month ago.  Then the holidays, but now we are 2 weeks past the holiday hub bub.  We had a few days where I thought we were back on track, but I guess not.  this has been going on steadily for 10 nights. I have been keeping a log.  And it looks like tonight is going to be the worst night yet.

Any ideas?


Meg

[kirsty_167]

Hi Meg,
I personally would say leave him be if he is happy.My son started this before xmas and i worried, then i posted similar on here and then i started going in and trying to make him sleep....result was......4 weeks of nightmare!!! I think by going in when he wasnt asleep made him realise that i would go in at some stage,then if i didnt he started screaming.I truly wish i just left him to it. My motto is now....if he is happy, all is good!!!

Last night Jakob went to bed at 7pm and at 8pm was still sitting in his cot talking away to himself. I left him to it and he eventaully went quiet and went to sleep all by himself....which after what ive been through this is just fine with me!!!!!!!!

This is just my opnion of course, you do what you feel is right.

Kirstyx

[daisymelan]

Meg, I agree with Kirsty.  If he's happy, then let him be.

Kirsty... that is awesome!  Happy someone around here got a good nights sleep.

Ds has been in bed 50 minutes... so far he has fallen asleep and woke back up and has now been fussing for ten minutes.   

[kirsty_167]

Jodi.............a good nights sleep hahaha!!
 What is that i have forgotten!! Jakob went to sleep on his own yes...BUT still had lots of NWs!!!!!!! We have wont the bedtime battle but NW are an ongoing issue!!! Oh well one thing at a time i guess!!

Kirsty

[daisymelan]

whoops.. my bad!  LOL

We had another dozen or so night wakings... but he did put himself down a few times all on his lonesome.  I don't think it helps that my mom is staying with us right now and she's in the room next to him....  She could snore for Canada in the world championships.  LOL

[Mom to M&M]

Jodie, does he have a sound machine in there? DD has always slept with a white noise machine on as otherwise she'd be woken by sirens and by DH getting ready early am. Really does help.

Am sad today, a close friend of mine who has 2.5 year old twins has resorted back to CIO, even though I tried to reason with her otherwise. Besides being very against any CC or CIO in general, I really think it's aggravated one of her twins' SA greatly. 

[PeepersMom]

Kristy, is he crying during his NW?  

Ok, well.......I can totally understand the 'if he is happy let him be'  BUT when he falls asleep so late he wakes up extra early.  I was actually shocked that he slept till 650 this morning.  usually when he falls asleep after 730 pm he is up by 6.  For the day.  grr.

But he was exhausted and ready for a nap at 9.  I decided long ago that we are firmly on 1 nap (it got too complicated to go back and forth based on wake up time) and I somehow got him to 1130.  SO he is asleep now and I am hoping he will take a nice nap.  If not I am going to put him down at 6 tonight that way if it takes him an hour to go to sleep it won't be too bad.  How nuts is that?

Aww sad for the CIO babies, but I can't even imagine what it must be like to have twins.  She must be pretty desperate.   I know I am nuts and I just have 1 bad sleeper.  It is a lot of work to teach on lo to sleep well much less 2.  Sorry to hear this.  She probably needs some support.

Thanks for the support.  

Meg

[Mom to M&M]

Kirsty - any luck on the reflux front? I really think a PPI is crucial in his case - have they ever considered an endoscopy to make sure he doesn't have esophageal irritation or a haitial hernia or something?

Good luck Meg - hope PJ takes a good nap today.

You know, she's not even really desperate - she just really believes in CC and Babywise type of stuff and really has them on a strict schedule. I agree that it must be really hard with twins in general though.

[PeepersMom]

OMG I was just thinking of Babywise this morning, how weird?!?!?!  That is such a horrible program!  I know this cooky woman who basically did babywise but she didn't know she was doing it.  She would keep saying, "I am a scientist so I give her only ___ oz and only at ___ times"  now her daughter has developed really slowly and strangely (IMHO) and is 105% ht and 10% weight.  Talk about FTT.  So sad.  I just know her through a friend so I don't really talk to her about it, but this mutual frined is very distraught over it.

Karen you are a good friend to be concerned about those sweet babes.

Also Karen, I never really got to the end of your long thread about early wake ups w/Marisa and falling asleep in the stroller for naps?  We started having our own sleep issues and got focused on me.  LOL  so - how did it turn out?  did you find a fix?

Meg

[Mom to M&M]

These twins have odd eating habits and are way picky too.

Early wakeups have been better and bedtime better for the most part. About half the time (or a little less) I still have to take Marisa out in her stroller and then transfer for her naps but she's getting better. Today she woke at 6:55, fell asleep in her crib at 12:15 (after going in a bit before 12 and only needing me once) so hopefully she takes a good nap. We moved bedtime later - generally between 8-8:45 depending on wake time, nap length, etc and that seemed to help as well. How are you guys?

[JoC]

I have a "friend" on a strict regime like that, only fed lo every 4 hours and not a minute sooner or later. Did CC etc. He sleeps well, but is the most miserable child you could ever meet, and he is SOOO picky with food, as she never added any spices, herbs etc to his food at the start, seems like it backfired a bit.
My ds may not still sleep well, but he eats anything and is a delight when he is awake (but not in his cot!)

Jo