Support for Mum's of LO's 16-19months with sleep issues

[Zaiby]

Hi..

Riyan had been doing quite well for the last week ...1 nap between 11:30/12 - sleeping 2-2.5hrs...bedtime around 7ish
however yesterday his nap was only 1.5hrs, which made bedtime at 6:30 - he did sleep through til 5ish, and woke - I tried to get him back to sleep because he started fussing alot, but no go - he began crying alot until 6:30 when I finally gave up.

So, I really didn't think he'ld make it to 11:30 for naptime (he would have been so tired by then), so I'm giving him a 20 minute catnap at 9:30 (he went down right away) and then will try again at 12:30?  Does this seem right?  Is it ok to occasionally do this, or should I have stayed with the one nap even today?  I really didn't want to start the early nap/early betime/early waking cycle again...

Is this normal for lo's to this as they transition?
Thanks!
Zaibun

[andibig]

Zaibun
its still quite normal for LOs to still need two naps when transitioning to one nap.so if you think he needs 2 naps somedays then go for it.
sasha occasionally did short naps when transitioning for about a week and then it settled down again.

[aidenmc]

Sorry, this is going to be a rant but I am so fed up! I have spent 2.5 hrs today getting ds to sleep. He took an hour to get to sleep for his nap and woke after 45 minutes. It then took 30 minutes to get him back down. He slept another 40 minutes. Tonight it took an hour again for him to fall asleep. My back is so bad from hanging over that crib. He was clingy this morning and I suspected tired. I took him to his room and put him down at about 9:30 but it was a no go, not that I really persisted. I wasn't sure it was the right thing to do,nor whether it would actually work.

Maybe I could get some feedback from you all. I suspect he is in a chronic overtired state but everyone around me says that I am putting him down too early and that I should extend his awake time and go for a later bedtime. I get caught at sleep times because I feel so rushed and I feel like the more I leave him alone the longer it will take for him to fall asleep. Last night dh put him to bed and he fell asleep on his own. He is in a big mummy stage so it is not like that when I put him to bed. Anyway, he woke at 9:45 then 10:30 last night. Then he woke sometime later but put himself back to sleep until 5:30. He is usually down for a nap between 12 and 12:30 and lately his naps have been pretty short - 1.5 hours and less. I can't seem to get naps and bedtime early enough to fix the overtiredness if that is it. He is usually at Montessori until 11:45 ish. He is often on the verge of sleep on the short car ride home. He hasn't had any lunch so I have been giving him food in the car and it often ends up in the crib as he is too tired to eat much but won't let go because he is hungry.

I know I am rambling here but I just feel like I have had it. I don't know how to get this sleeping under control. I feel like I am trying so hard to control it but I am having no success!

[kirsty_167]

Hi all

I have been following the thread and havent posted for a few weeks. I feel id always be posting the same thing and everyone would get bored with it!!

Nothignmuch has changed for Jakob and his NWs.We thought we had it sorted when for over a week he slept all night.....but that has gone out the window again and im stumped!!! he is back to doing his usual scream the house down throughout the night.

  why oh why is this happening? We changed his reflux meds and his diet after finding out he had intolerances.This seemed to work like i said for about a week. I got to experience sleep again...i felt like a new woman and i was so happy. Now with only 2 days until i go back to fulltime work, Jakob is doing his horrid NWs again.Nothing soothes him at all..........he screams blue murder.

I just feel so totally useless that i can find out what it si i need to do to help him sleep through the night.Other than on here i know noone who has these issues.Everyone with babies i know here have babies that sleep all night unless sick, then its only the odd night they are up! What on earth am i doing wrong???

Early bedtimes dont work here either and later bedtimes can increase the nws if i leave it too long.He naps well in the day,usually 2hours.I tried cutting this down to 1 1/2 hours to see if perhaps he was having too much sleep but i just got a grumpy baby all afternoon and even worse night wakings.So for now he naps from 12-2pm and then stories at 7-7.15 and bed by 7.30pm. He used to be in bed by 7pm but i found it would take him hours to fall asleep so moced it abit later and now,touch wood he goes down ok.

Im freaking out about working fulltime and having these NWs.It was hard enough working part time and being up at night but fulltime ......and being a teacher i have 30 kids im responsible for so cant have me off the ball IYGWIM?

Sorry for rambling.............i have no clue what to do anymore and it is so very depressing.NO sooner we fix one issue another one crops up.I wish we could sort the NW issue thats my biggest worry.

While he wont sleep through the night i have noone willing to have him overnight.....so no time out for me and dp together which adds to the pressure.

Wishing you all the best with your sleep issues whatever they maybe.We may all have different stories but im grateful for this thread as where i am i feel soooo alone and sad.

Thank you
Kirsty

[andibig]

becky
i think you are right in the fact that he is overtired.if he is almost falling asleep in the car on the way home then i would say that he is not being put down too early for his nap (IMHO).
can you not pick him up earlier from montessori or can they give him lunch there?

[andibig]

Kirsty
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
sorry you must have posted while i was posting!
are his NWs like they were b4?is he inconsolable like b4?
unfortunately they tend to hit a big blip of SA at this age again, although i'm not sure if thats causing the NWs.
how long has he been on his new meds?could he still be adjusting to them?do you think he could be teething?
personally i'd keep his nap to 2hrs (sasha has the same) as his night sleep isn't great at the mo to prevent him being overtired.

[kirsty_167]

HI

Yes Jakobs nws are like they were before....just full on screaming.He does stop for short bursts but if i try to leave the room it all starts over again.I have tried waiting till i know he is asleep but he just wakes up again as i go.No amount of time waiting works.He has a motion sensor i think!!!!!!!!!!

He has been on his new meds for nearly 2 weeks now, i thought they had started working after a week as he had the following week with no NWs.Who knows!!!!

As for teething, Im not too sure.he could be as i think i see white bumps,perhaps eye teeth? He has his 4 molars,they were what triggered the Nws originally.They took 3 weeks to come through all the way. Maybe another lot is on the way but i cant really see too well and he bites my fingers nearly clean off when i try to feel!!!!

So you see its all a lot of guess work.I just wish he could be easily soothed!! He wont ever sleep with me  so even if i did want 2 take him to my bed...it would be pointless!!!!

The only up side to all the dramas we have been through is that bedtime is no longer screaming fits.He goes down well and while he wont lie down when i put him in his cot, i leave him happiy and he falls asleep usually within 20-30mins.I figure thats fine,beats the screaming.NOw for the NWs...................hmmmmmmmmmm

Oh we have just moved but he slept through the night for the 1st 2 nights here......maybe its just hit him but really i think its either SA and teething or simply that he forgets at times how to go bac to sleep.
.He wakes in the night,gets angry hes woken and then gets hysterical he is awake.He isnt terribly patient he gets frustrated easy,so waking up would annoy him to the point of stopping him going back to sleep easily...IYGWIM?

Well thats us in a nutshell.........sleep fairy come my way!!!!! PLEASEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Kirsty

[andibig]

kirsty
i forgot you have recently moved!it could be the move thats temporarily unsettled him and he's hit a bit of regression in regards to his sleeping.
if you think its not pain waking him i would pick him up,quick cuddle then lay down again.if you can settle whilst he is still in the cot even better.then walk out.if he starts crying again do the same.
we did this with sasha and eventually she would lay herself down once we opened the door (LOL).she knew that all we would do was lay her back down again.
HTH
Andrea

[kirsty_167]

HI andrea

Could it be the move even though it didnt start until 2 nights after we moved? I would have thought that if the move was to unsettle him it would happen the 1st night. I guess it perhaps just took a few days for it all to sink in for him.Maybe he is waking andis just freaking out with the new "feel" of his room. I have tried to set his room out as similar as possible..ie which way his cot is etc.  but of course it is still a new room

I guess we will play it by ear...he already has woken once and its not even 9.30pm oh man!!!

Thanks for the help

Kirsty

[kirsty_167]

 

We are back to square one.Now bedtime is back to Jakob screaming the house down.How do i do this without loosing my sanity? Im so depressed as im so concerned about all of this.

Sometimes i have to hand over to DP because i just cant take anymore,i have to leave the room,leave the house and calm down.

Jakob is 18 months old, i never in a million years thought id have sleep problems at this age, outside of teething of course.

Im so lost,upset,worried and frustrated....is this how its going to be for years? I have read about kids doing this for a few weeks but we are on about 2 months of sleep issues now.(bedtime,Nws etc)
That isnt normal is it?

Sorry for my rant,BW is all i have for help
Kirstyx

[andibig]

mega (((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))
kirsty i wish i could make it all better for you.
do you think another trip to the Drs may be in order??at least then you can eliminate any illness etc that may be causing the bedtime troubles.
how does Jakob settle for DP?
if you think its getting too much then good idea to hand over to DP.we all have our limitations

[aidenmc]

Kirsty,

I am right there with you. It is so hard when you feel you are doing everything to make it better and nothing seems to work. It is hard to figure out what the problem is. For us it has gotten to the point where it is affecting our relationship (me and dh). Luckily we have worked things out but when your child's sleep takes over your life it can be so hard! I feel the same as you in that I never thought I would be still dealing with this at 19 months! Never! With ds #1 it wasn't until 15 months that he was sleeping through and giong down on his own (well sort of). I thought I had learned my lesson and was prepared for # 2. Or so I thought!!

Here is the funny part (or the really humiliating part - I am trying to see the humour, really!). I am a Phd student in clinical psychology. I am focusing on child psychology. So far I have given 3 lectures to undergraduate students on infant sleep. What a joke eh? I can't even get my own child to sleep! Anyway, the lesson I am trying to take (in those few moments when I can laugh, and they are really becoming few and far between) is that sometimes we cannot control things. Maybe then we just have to focus on self preservation.

Anyway, last night, after really trying to get him caught up (gave an early nap, but it took 45 minutes to fall asleep and he slept for 1hr 35m, then an early bedtime - same - took 45 minutes) he woke 5 times then was up at 4:42 for the day! Talk about pulling your hair out! I took some advice and tried for a catnap in the car this morning before school. He spent the whole time happily pointing out the cars and poles, etc. NO sleep!

I am going to pick him up soon and he will either be on the verge of sleep, then unable to sleep when we get home or he will be as happy as can be and unable to sleep when we get home. At some level this has just got to be a test!

Best of luck today. I think you may want to go back to the Dr. Your lo is on reflux meds right? I know that reflux is always worse when they are teething (mine has been off meds since a year but I know it flares up). Also, I noticed that I have to watch what and when I feed him. Tomato sauce before a nap is not a good idea. Anyway, I haven't had much luck with my Dr. in the past but you may want to try another appointment.

It does sound like there may be SA as well, which for my lo seems to come up with stress - environmental or physical.

Enough rambling...good luck today.

[kirsty_167]

HI all and thanks for the hugs and support,you know some days coming on here is what gets me through another night!!

Well last night he screamed and wouldnt settle at bedtime.When i went into him he stopped crying,looked at me and said "car?"....he wanted hsi toy car he loves in bed with him....argghhh thats what all that screaming was about!!!?? Man on man!! Well i gave it to him but told him i wasnt coming in and out to get it when he threw it on the floor.I rubbed his tummy,said goodnight,again, and left...............well................................................................................................he woke up at 8am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WOOOHOOOOO!! To be honest i lay on the floor outside his door at 7.40am listening hard as i couldnt beleiev he hadnt woken me up in the night and was still asleep lol!!!

Of course i know that tonight may be another story as it seems to chop and change so often ::)so im not holding my breathe but i start work tomorrow..............arrrgggghhhhhhhhhhh,sleep would be nice

As for taking him to the doctor,he has had tests done and he was given the clear.Medically he is fine,except his reflux and he is on new meds for that.They may take another week before they really work well,if they do. he is now on Losec instead of Zantac which i think wore off.

Kirsty,

I am right there with you.

Here is the funny part (or the really humiliating part - I am trying to see the humour, really!). I am a Phd student in clinical psychology. I am focusing on child psychology. So far I have given 3 lectures to undergraduate students on infant sleep. What a joke eh? I can't even get my own child to sleep! .

I studied child psych too dont worry and im no expert when it comes to my own childs sleep, but give me anyone elses and somehow i can get them sleeping really well................go figure!!!! My own son rebels against me bigtime!!!


Got to go now and face another day of guess work.........
Thanks all
Kirsty

[aidenmc]

8:00!!! That is awesome Kristy! I hope it continues that way for you! Unfortunately Aiden only napped for an hour today. I am considering a super early bedtime but fear a super early wake-time, although that tends to happens anyway these days.

Good luck tonight!

[andibig]

Kirsty
good news about Jakob
i think you are on to something with bedtime.telling him "I'm not coming back in ,goodnight" and then going is giving him the clear message that this is bedtime.