I'm back...what a mess!

[luvmykiki]

Just updating (and it helps me to keep track!).  We had 2 naps today ..same as yesterday.  9:30-10:30 (shorter than usual) and 2:20-3:30..... Seems ok for now if she'll just keep this up.  Went to sleep at ~7:15..this is late for her.  We'll see...................  I do agree about probably waiting until we get back for 2-1 switch...No use in really paying *too* much attention to things while we're away.  It will take a while when I get back but I'll just have to buckle down (I'm so NOT good at that!).  JoC:  Wow!  I'm so jealous!! 
bye for now.

[luvmykiki]

Well......something is backfiring, as usual.  I thought we were onto something when she slept 'til 4:50 on the night of the 13th (my last post).  But yesterday and the day before she babbled/fussed a lot before the am nap and skipped (babbled/play/fussed straight through) her pm naps.  Both days I woke her from the am nap hoping to keep it around 1hr so she would nap in the afternoon.  The first day I thought I got to her to late (1hr10min) and that was why she didn't take the afternoon nap... Yesterday I tried the reverse (got her a little early (50m) and that didn't work.  She slept well the night before last with no wakes and up at 5am then 6:30 for the day...Foolish me started to think about tackling those early wakeups.  Usually I try to get a pattern for a week or 2 before even thinking about that but I had 3 good nights in a row and I started to think "alright, I'm gonna go for it..."  BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUt, of course, she woke last night at 11 and 1:30 and 3 and 4:50 and 5:50 and that was it...I'm dying right now.  Have no clue how to tackle today/tonight.  Everytime I think I'm onto something....I'm just SO NOT.
Thanks for listening...Whatever advice you have I LOVE to hear...I'm lost (again).

~susan

[JoC]

Hi Susan.
Big hugs to you and lo,
All of those wakings make me think there is something else going on. Is lo teething or it could have been tummy ache etc etc, so don't think you have failed or anything like that. I know how tired you must be, but try again tonight, things often get much worse before they start to improve. I sometimes give meds on nights like that cos it sems they may be in some kind of pain to wake so often. Could you comfort her? or was she inconsolable?
Jo x

[mari]

Hi Susan.

Probably she didn't sleep so well last night because she was overtired as she woke too early from her naps.

I am not sure when you said that you were going away, but if you do decide to make the transition you should put her for her am nap 15-30 minutes later than usual for 3 days, then 30 minutes later again and every three days after, keep putting her 30 minutes later.  The afternoons will be difficult but hopefully you will work towards her staying awake until 12.00, have lunch and take an afternoon nap.

I doubt that you will try this before you travel, but if it's not for the next 2 weeks then I would go for it now.

[luvmykiki]

thanks for your continued support (sound like a presidential nominee...).

So, I think that the waking was for sure b/c she was/is overtired (oh, I had been giving her motrin at bedtime so she was 'medicated'  )   .... I'm was totally ready to lose it yesterday so we slept at my parents last night (so they could take her in the a.m.).... She woke at 11 and I tried really hard to do PD to get her back but after 2hrs I nearly lost my mind so I brought her in bed..and was SO defeated (is that even the right thing to say?? defeated...by your child? I know she's just doing what she needs to for whatever reason......) I was sobbing....and feeling HORRID with guilt b/c I was so aggravated with HER...What a nasty feeling. I hate it.   
Anyway, she slept 'til 4:50 and then woke at 6 for the day.  My mom took her downstairs and I slept 'til 10 (yay me!) She was still cheery etc when I woke (normally is -attempting- napping at this time).  I decided to try one nap just-like-that for today.....   I wanted to do the gradual thing but it's so confusing...If I put her down later and she fusses for an hour before sleep (which she's been doing...) then what? and I have a million more questions like that one so, since one previous poster said it worked for her, I decided to go 'cold turkey' to one nap!  I'm sure this will backfire *like everything else* but I have NOTHING to lose but sleep and I'm already losing lots of that at this point!!!!!!!
So, I brought her home at 11, fed her ?lunch/snack...some yogurt.  Brought her up and she was asleep by 11:35.  Still asleep now at 1:35.... Please cross your fingers everyone.....Tightly!

Thank you!!!
~susan

[andibig]

Susan
how long did she sleep for??

[JoC]

Hey Susan,
I too had poor night, after all of my resolution NOT to pick him up, feed or bring to my room, after 1 and 1/2 hours of crying and frankly who knows how many wi/o's, awake at 1.10am (WHY? ) I gave in and brought him in with us, he slept soundly til 6am.
Don't beat yourself. They do need comforting from time to time and you need your sleep so you can stay calm (SOO hard when you have had 4 hours average nights sleep in about 4 weeks, I KNOW!!)
Hope the one nap thing works, and she sleeps better this evening.
Jo x

[luvmykiki]

Well, she slept for 2hr 15min.... she definitely was more groggy/crabby on waking and that lasted about 25minutes...then she was okay and we went out shopping. I think she was more cranky in general and now, at 5:40, is way tired so we just had dinner and we're off to bathtime..although she's happily walking around 'pretend' having a cup of tea and sharing with the dog.  I just about give up!  Will post in the am about our (i'm sure fabulous... ) night....
JoC (realized it was you who did the 'cold turkey' switch)..so sorry for your night.  I guess we just get what we're given and we can do our best to 'promote' sleep but we sure as heck can't make it happen!  I need to lighten up in this area for sure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
bye for now!

[luvmykiki]

Updating:  Not sure what I'm thinking right now (used to this feeling...).  She went down at 6:35 last night...It should've been earlier but I was trying and it didnt' happen.  She woke at
 8:30 (?) And I was sooooo tired and at the end of my rope..Normally I would've gone into her but I was feeling so frustrated/?angry  and thought it better if I waited a bit...She cried but not hysterics, more like whiny/fussy crying and she was only sitting up-not standing (i have video monitor). This went on for ~15 (painful for me) minutes then she went back to sleep.  Not sure if that was CIO or not but I *seriously* could not deal.  I can't explain why because it was so early it's not like she woke me up...I was just getting ready to take a bath and drink some decaf tea and go to bed and I guess it just upset me big time.  So should I feel like crap or was it okay for her to cry for bit like that? I can't decide.  I feel a little crappy and a little okay with it...
She woke at 3:50 and then 6:10.  She's in a very good mood this morning.

the saga continues... JoC: how did you do last night??

bye for now,
Susan 

[franchick]

This won't help much, but I just wanted to say that we have only ever had about 10 full night's sleep since DD was born - she is now 19 months old!

What I decided to do, in the end (after a few months of LO being awake for 2.5 hours per night when I first returned to work!!! - what a nightmare), was put a mattress in her room and sleep in there. In time, I ended up bringing her onto the mattress with me.

Now, DD sleeps on her own double mattress (I know, I know  ) and I go to her when she wakes, which is normally only once a night, anytime between 2 and 5 am. Many nights I don't even remember getting up, I just find myself in her bed in the morning. So, I get to spend a few hours in bed with DH (and the dog ) and a few hours with DD in her bed.

I feel that I am now as rested as I ever was before she was born, but I make a big effort to get to bed at a reasonable time myself.

I am not suggesting you do what I am doing, I just wanted you to know that you are definitely not alone in part co-sleeping. (I have to say, I do like it a lot and I agree, she will become a big girl soon enough and not want me to be hanging around in her room, so I am going to enjoy it while I can).

Good luck with your plans - I'm sure it will all work out in time. And I hope the travelling goes well - if it was me, I wouldn't change anything until you get back - just roll with the punches re the naps and try and minimise how much lost sleep you get at night, in whatever way works for you.

[franchick]

Oh, and also wanted to say, I have left DD whining to sleep on one occasion as otherwise I was just going to get angry - this is NOT CIO - you would know if you were doing CIO as your heart would have been smashed into a thousand pieces. Sometimes you have to preserve your sanity - it is not worth getting upset / angry at LOs - rather they fuss themselves off to sleep. (((Hugs)))

[mari]

The thing is, she was whiny and fussing and not really crying so it probs won't do any harm, but you said that you felt angry and upset so it's best not to go to her when you feel like that, and I know how it can make you feel, I've been there.  One night after hours of nightwakings I remember she woke and I was so upset and angry I just sat on the end of my bed listening to her and crying myself, but I couldn't go to her, I'd have shouted and screamed and woke the whole street so I just sat ther until I got it out of my system then when I did go in, we had a huge cuddle.
Don't feel bad, this is a very testing time for us when we are having little sleep and we are doing so much.  I am sure that this was a temporary feeling and you will feel so much better after your holiday.  When are you going?

[JoC]

HI Susan ,
We had a decentt night,  woke at 5, did wi/wo til 6 ( NEVER gonna go back to sleep to be honest, but have to try) then got him up, light on etc, then milk. He is very tired today, but 5 is like a lie in! People at work, think i am mad when they ask if i had a good night and i say, very enthusiastically i really did cos i was up at 5!!!
I struggle with the night wakings tho, i wake up light a banshee.
On the note about leaving her, if you feel you are gonna lose it (I remember that feeling!), the best thing is to leave her, really it is, just to try to calm yourself, so don't think bad about it sweetheart.

Fingers crossed for all of us for this evening.

Jo x 

[andibig]

Susan
sorry to hear things aren't going well.
we all have days like that.sleep deprivation sucks-big time.like the pp said you did the right thing.no point going in trying to comfort her when you are feeling wound up yourself.
(((((((((((((((((((big squishy hugs))))))))))))))))))))

[luvmykiki]

Thanks SO much everyone.... Thank goodness for you all!  I really feel that you all understand where I"m at.  Mari, your example is *exactly* how I felt....only it was early and I can't explain that...Always, the earlier the wake-ups the more discouraging for me..I don't know why!  Probably because from 3.5-7.5 months she woke 1hr after being put down and 1hr after that ..then I'd get maybe 2hrs ..then 1, 1.5, 45min, then maybe 2 again.  N*I*G*H*T*M*A*R*E.  Never been that close to checking myself into a psych ward. ever.  So I think when she wakes early (like before 12) I start to see myself heading back to that abyss...ug.  Okay, I'm chipper, huh?

I'm not going to beat myself up over last night...I know that I didn't have much in me at that point and it would've made matters worse for me to go running in there.  As it was, I kept listening waiting..will it get worse? will it escalate?  It never did...she stayed the same whiny/fuss the whole time and was just sitting there.  Then, just as I was thinking that it had gone on long enough and I was going to go in, she dove into the corner of her crib and went back to sleep.  She often wakes with this whiny fuss and I usually go after a very short time b/c I just. can't. listen. to. it. anymore!!  I wonder if I should try to hold back a bit more......hmmmmmmmm.  She always does this at the 4 (or 5 if I'm lucky) wake-ups.
Today she was in a really good mood although wanting to be picked up a lot in the afternoon...hmmmm wonder if that's significant as she's not usually like that.. I digress.  Anyway, she was sleepy rubbing eyes a little at ~9:30 and this was about the time I had been putting her down for her a.m. nap (although in the recent past she hadn't been falling asleep for 45min or more...) So I tried to put her down. She was babbling/playing LOUDLY...after 40min I took her out.  We played a bit. Had lunch at 11 (not so early if she's up at 6, right?)...then in to nap at 11:30..played in crib a bit and asleep at 12.  Slept for 2.5hrs.  I thought that was good and she was in a better mood on waking today than yesterday.  She played all afternoon and was asleep by 6:35.  Everyone cross those fingers....I'm off to bed....


Franchick:  Thanks for sharing...I really appreciate it.  I don't mind the cosleeping bit ...I did it for the first 7.5 months (long story)...She definitely wakes more that way... Even when she seems to be only waking early and I start bringing her in bed with me at like 5.  This is how I ended up here!  It's like a slippery slope and she starts to wake earlier and add wake ups and then well....you read it!

JoC: Good night!  5 is bliss for me if I see it on the clock (and not 11, 1, 3 or whatever!!!!) Today it was 3:50...why couldn't she just wait the 10min for my mental health! Good luck tonight!


Thanks again all, I'll be back in the morning....