Nap disaster

[luchi]

DD is 13 months old.  She has never been a great napper, except for when she was seven months old and I was napping with her, and then a couple of months ago with a great spell too where she'd nap for an hour to an hour an a half twice day.  Lately, I'm not sure what's going on.  Usually, she will sleep independently, and I have been using walk in walk out when she is fussy.  She was napping twice a day for about 30 to 45 minutes, but now, she's taking one 30 minute nap.  I have been putting her to bed at six fifteen, and she wakes up once around 4 or 5, dh lays her back down, and she'll sleep again till about six or six thirty.  Yesterday I took her up for a nap at nine thirty (she woke up at six thirty) and she didn't put up a fuss at all and slept 35 mintues.  I took her up again around one fifteen and I put her in her crib.  I was told to give her a short nap in the morning (which she was doing anyway) and then a longer one in the pm, which I would love to do, I'm just not sure if she'll cooperate.  I did wiwo for twenty minutes, and then realized she'd pooped.  I changed her diaper and put her back in the crib and did wiwo until 3 pm.  I gave up and brought her downstairs.  This morning, she woke up at six and I took her up at nine.  She seemed tired--rubbing eyes, yawing, welcoming her bottle (I feed her milk before her naps because this is the only time she'll take a bottle, but she never falls asleep on it) etc.  I put her in her crib and did wiwo for an hour.  I took her back up at noon, and she was exhausted, started falling asleep on her bottle, so I put her in her crib and she slept for a grand total of 30 minutes.  What do I do?  I'm afraid to give her another nap because that will upset her bed time.  Everyone has told me not to worry about one short nap during the day if her nights are okay, but when I see her cranky, and pulling her own hair, I do worry.  I have tired doing wiwo to exted her nap, it hasn't worked yet.  I have also tried wake to sleep and haven't had any success. 
Any suggestions???

[Erin (redstarfalling)]

SHe might be too tired when she goes down for the nap... With that schedule, I'd think that 12:30 would be about as late an afternoon nap as she could take. Does she have any type of stuffed animal to sleep with?  I also found it helped to do a similar routine as we do at bedtime - books, lullaby... That's all I can think of.  I feel for you - I know what it's like to have a cranky toddler! 

[mari]

I have posted on a previous thread and I am still wondering if she is ready to go to 1 nap.

Take a look at this and see what you think

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=81459.0

[luchi]

Hi Mari,
I tried that today--she didn't sleep in the am, so I gave her one pm nap at noon, and it still only lasted 30 minutes.  Is one 30 minute nap long enough to get her through the day?

[mari]

not usually, but it will take time, it could be that she was overtired by the time of her nap so that's why it was so short.

Keep her am nap, but reduce it by 15 minutes at a time so that she doesn't notice the transition.  Put her down 15 minutes later for the am nap for 3 days, then gradually reduce it by 15 minutes every 3 days.  It will take a few days to get used to it, these things don't happen overnight.

[mari]

Farah, as I mention in our personal messages, I was going to copy and paste this message here to ensure that we get the help that we can.

I have advised Farah that when he wakes really early, to just let him have a very short 10 minute nap as early as possible in order to allow for a good nap in the afternoon.

I am sure that she would appreciate any advice as she has done so well with the WIWO and has worked so hard.


The following message was recieved in my personal messages yesterday.
Hi Mari,
I REALLY need your help...It's been two weeks into wiwo, and I have to say, nights are SO much better.  The only problem is, she wakes up really early, and won't nap, so she's totalling about 11-11.5 hours of sleep, which I can't imagine is enough for her. 
A few days ago, she woke up at five and so I took her for a nap at nine.  She fell asleep in my arms as she was so tired.  I decided to nap with her, so I took her to our bed.  She woke up at teh 30 minute mark as usual, but I was there, so right away I just put my hand on her chest and she went back to sleep for another hour.  She woke up at 10:30am and didn't nap again.  I put her to sleep at 6:15pm and she woke up at 4am (one waking around 1) and would not go back to sleep.  We were not impressed.  We tried to give her a nap at 8, but she refused.  She was alert and happy to be awake.  She had swimming at 12:30pm so we took her, and she came home, drank her bottle and slept for an hour and 45 mintues.  I put her to sleep at 7pm last night, and she woke up at 5:30am (all the way through) and was not interested in sleeping again.  I put her down for a nap at 10: 50am and she slept for an hour and five minutes.  She didn't fall asleep in my arms though, just drank her bottle and went into her crib awake, so she didn't crash.  So now it's noon, and I can't imagine we'll get another nap out of her.  What do I do?  If she takes a one hour nap once a day, I would be okay with it, if she got enough night sleep.  I've tried wake to sleep as well.  My husband and I are both so tired and this is causing us to fight all the time.  I really don't know what to do.  Any help would be really really appreciated.  Thanksk so much.
Farah

[luchi]

Thanks Mari for posting my message.
Last night she was in bed by 6:50pm.  She woke up at 11, and dh settled her right away.  She woke up again at 4 and I could not calm her down.  I gave her a bottle, and she drank the whole thing.  When I went to put her in her crib, she stiffened her whole body and started crying.  Dh came and took over, put her in her crib and she went to sleep.  With him, she'll behave, but not with me.  She slept from 4:40am til 7:30am which is the latest she's slept in a few months.  I thought this would be the perfect time to establish a routine so I took her out and kept her entertained, fed her lunch and nap time was to be at 12:30pm.  She did not want to go down.  It took me 40 minutes of wiwo to get a 30 minute nap.  She slept from 1:15-1:45pm.  She was bawling, even when I brought her downstairs, she was still crying and is extremely cranky.  She did poop, but realistically, I don't think that's why she woke up.  I think she would have woken up at the half hour mark regardless.  So now, there's no way she'll take a pm nap, I'll put her to bed early, we'll probably have an early morning wake, and she still won't be getting enough sleep.  I'm so at a loss here.

[mari]

Alex wakes early sometimes and I tell her to go to sleep it's still night time.  She listens sometimes, sometimes wh goes back and I can't get back to sleep, sometimes she won't go back at all.  If this happens I try to keep the nap time the same as she will be messed up againfor the night.

To be honest I do think that she is ready to make the switch to 1 nap, but is struggling with it.  That's why I suggested a very short am nap and hopefully she won't be overtired for the pm nap. 

It will take time for it all to even out and you will have some rough days and nights. (but you are having those anyway)

Hope this will help you.

[*Natasha*]

If you think she is struggling with the 1 nap  i would go for a 30min nap in the morning at 9am then shoot for a long nap in the afternon at 12.30/1pm. If she wakes after 30mins fom the second nap use WI/WO to get to go back to sleep again.
Another thing is she eating well? How many bottles a day is she having?

[luchi]

Hi Natasha.  She eats pretty well during the day, but she's not so good with the milk.  She's on whole milk now (breastfed for one year and I think she still wants my boob back) and the only way she'll take a bottle is in her nursery on the rocking chair.  So I give her bottles before her naps and bed, and she'll push it away when she's done.  She usually drinks about 4 oz each time, so in total, she'll drink about 12-15 oz per day.  I try to make up for this by giving her yogurt and cheese, and she also gets 2 oz in her cereal in the morning.  She's got a great appetite except when she's sick. 
I have tried to extend her naps through wiwo, and she gets hysterical, but I can keep on trying.  In the morning, she's just not interested in napping, but I can keep on trying with that too.   When should I stop if I'm doing wiwo?  If I give her a nap at 9, how long should I try to get her down before giving up to preserve the pm nap?
Thanks for everyone's help!

[luchi]

So I tried something different today.  After over two weeks of wiwo, I was getting maybe one 30 minute nap out of her on a good day, and that was with at least 40 minutes of wiwo.  So today, I put her in her crib at nap time (9:30am) and I walked out.  She started screaming hysterically, and I thought, this is not right.  So I sat in the rocking chair in the corner of her room.  She calmed down, and stayed laying down and didn't stand up as she normally does when I leave the room.  In twenty minutes, she was asleep and slept for 40 minutes (a little longer than I planed, but I fell asleep in the chair!).  This afternoon, I did the same thing, she started screaming, but when she saw that I wasn't leaving, she lay down and she did cry for about 20 seconds, but then stoped.  If she would try to talk I would say sleep baby, and she would calm down.  It took a bit longer this time, about 30 minutes and she went to sleep. So the nap was a lot later than I had planned today--she didn't nap until 2:45pm, and it is now 3:45pm and she's still sleeping!  She woke up after 45 minutes, I heard her cry out, I tiptoed upstairs, hung back and heard her shuffling and she went back to sleep! OMG!!!! I haven't gotten two naps out of her in three weeks!  She is  VERY spirited baby, especially when she's tired or overtired, so after reading more posts, I think maybe GW is the way to go.  It seemed to work wonders today--hopefully I'm not counting my eggs before they hatch. 

[*Natasha*]

That is fantastic great work. So what you can do so you don't have to sit in the rocking chair for every nap is over a week slowly start siting closer to the door until you are just sitting outside the door where she can see you. Then soon enough you can just walk out with minimal fuss.

[Erin (redstarfalling)]

GREAT news!!!!!

[mari]

Luchi, so glad that you have found a method that is working for both of you.  Let us know how you are getting along.  (Don't go falling asleep in that rocking chair every nap time!!!!)

[luchi]

Okay now I'm getting confused.  I have to say, the past couple nights have been heaven, she's been sleeping straight through, so that's one good thing.  A couple of days ago, she I put her down for a morning nap and she slept for an hour and fifteen minutes--I know, way too long, and I planned to wake her up but a conference call from work ended up going a lot long than expected.  Anway, she didn't nap in the pm at all, even though she was in the crib for an hour.  I sat in the chair, and bless her heart, she stayed laying down and played with her teddy bear until I got her out.  Normally she would have stood up and cried or played, but since I did wiwo for two weeks, I think she knows I mean business and is scared of me leaving, so she stayed down.  Anyway, she was tried by five, in bed by six and slept till almost seven am.  The past couple days, I take her up for her morning nap and while drinking her milk, she shows tired signs (rubbing her eyes, holding her ears--by the way, does anyone elses baby do this??? She hold and rubs her ear when she's tired, and when I check on her when she's sleeping, she often has her hand over an ear.  She doesn't have an ear infection, I already checked with the dr) so I put her in her crib, and she stays down, and I wait for 45 minutes, while she tosses, plays with her bear, tries to talk (I say sleep right away and she stops).  Then by 11, she's tired.  I try to take her up about two hours and forty five minutes after wake. Should I be waiting longer?  If she naps at 11, that won't get her through bed time, because she doesn't ever nap for more than an hour and a half.  Today she only took one forty five minute nap at noon, after I tried for an hour with the am nap.  She's calm during the time in her crib, just not sleeping...
Any suggestions?