Losing it here, ladies... almost 11MO and still struggling with PM nap!!

[alicialars]

Hi again...
Gosh I wish I could say things have gotten better. We have the first nap of the day dialed in. Perfectly. After 3 hours of A time in the AM, LO goes down beautifully and sleeps for ~1hr 15-30min. Then everything falls apart. I watch cues like a hawk (to the point that I am hesitant to go out for fear of not being home for naptime), do what I think is a good wind-down, and then everything just goes to hell. DD struggles, screams, kicks, slaps, arches her back - I just don't know what to do.

Background here: we started BW'ing when DD was 5MO for nighttime sleep. PU/PD worked well for nighttime sleep, but absolutely DID NOT work for naps. I tried, consistently, for 2 months. I am not exaggerating. Two months. Finally, I just gave up. I let her nap in the car, probably getting her overtired, but hey - she napped. Then, I went back to the old naptime routine of bouncing her on the big exercise ball. It works like a charm and was great when she could be counted on to take two 30-minute naps a day. Then in mid-December she lengthened the morning nap to over an hour and just stopped the PM nap... and the struggles began again.

WHAT DO I DO?? I feel like the worst, most caving-in mom ever for giving up the goat on PU/PD. DD can't go down for naps without help (nighttime sleep is no problem) unless she just gives up in the car (which doesn't happen much because I'm obsessed with being home at "naptime"). She is 6 weeks shy of turning One. I am feeling like I can't go on with this struggle we're in, and need to figure out what to do to help her soothe herself to sleep at naptime now that she's older. I've tried reading the BW SAYP book, but ladies, sorry to say - I have a really hard time following the disjointed nature of the writing in the book and I don't feel that it addresses older babies as well as younger ones. I know I should have stuck to my guns and made PU/PD work.

DD has a lovely crib in a room with double black-out curtains. It is not pitch black in the room but it's very dark.

Suggestions, advice, help, hugs??? I am going nuts.

[*Natasha*]

What is her routine? How is she sleeping at night? IS she eating well?

[jennyk]

I am no help to you, but I totally understand your frustration!  I have a 5 1/2 month-old who is the EXACT same way.  He also hates PU/PD and the shh/pat technique.  He's a spirited baby, and he also needs lots of help falling asleep.  I hope you can get some good advice and don't mind if I steal some of it!

[alicialars]

Routine:
6:30-7 A
~7:15-7:30, BF
~8:00 Eat breakfast
A
~9:30/10 Nap 1hr 15-20
~11 BF
~12 Eat lunch
A
~2 try to go down for a nap... and try, and try, and try
~5:15 eat dinner
6:30 bathtub
7:00 BF, lights out, bed
~4/5 wake and BF

I tried tried tried limiting the morning nap to 45 minutes, and then ended up with an over-tired, cranky baby for PM nap that then ended up 45 min with her waking up tired and mad. We tried two or three times. I will try again.

[*Natasha*]

I tried tried tried limiting the morning nap to 45 minutes, and then ended up with an over-tired, cranky baby for PM nap that then ended up 45 min with her waking up tired and mad. We tried two or three times. I will try again.

This was the same for us so i use to do:
7am - Wake
10am - Nap 1.5hrs
2.30pm - Nap 45mins
7pm - Bedtime

She was happy with this so i let it be until we transitioned to 1 nap.

[alicialars]

Thanks, Natasha for the sample schedule. That's exactly what we've been trying - she wakes from the AM nap ~11:30, and around 2:30 I try to get her down again. She just simply fights me tooth and nail.
This morning, I woke her after an hour of napping. This afternoon, her nap was 30 min and she was cranky mad all the rest of the day. I put her to bed 15min early.

I'll try limiting the AM nap to 45 min tomorrow and see if we can get a longer PM nap. Stacy, my worry about a PM catnap is that it will push her bedtime to 8 or 9. Have you any experience with that scenario? Thanks for the help!!

[KathrynK]

hi there
dd was about the same age when we started to have kind of similar nap trouble- dd would take 2 long naps like a dream but wake ready to start her day at 5am!
We have played about with short am nap to see if we can sort it out and we did get there but I have to say it took quite a few weeks of consistently persevering before dd's body clock finally got the hang of it. We have settled on 30 min am nap and 90 min pm nap which works great for us (although dd is a but older than your lo)
Once you start to shorten that am nap don't give up after a couple of days- it takes time and she may well need the odd early night here & there
kathryn x