7x a night wakings! HELP

[keksa23]

Hey all,
I am new to the boards and a friend on babyfit suggested I visit this site.
I really hope there is help for me here...I am so discouraged and as tired as I am, dread when the time comes to go to sleep because I know it will be another uphill battle with DS waking up 7x a night.
 
My MIL who stays with him during the day, bottle-feeds him milk with cereal, about 2-3 bottles of this a day, but you can only put so much cereal in a bottle.
He seems hungry at night when he wakes up, also seems irritable because he squirms and cries, and he just seems to be waking up a lot; honestly can't keep track of the times because it's so often, probably like 5-7 times a night now.
No fruits yet by the way; I do encourage MIL to give him some pureed stringbeans though, but she isn't doing too much of that I think, and I don't wait to give it to him when I get home from work because it's late and I'm afraid it'll upset his stomach during the night.
I leave a little nightlight on the floor on the opposite side of my bed in the room with me and baby because he seems so afraid when the lights are completely out - he gets so wide-eyed LOL, but otherwise the lights stay out...I do talk to him though to try to soothe him, and I shush shush him...should I not be doing this?
PLEASE HELP.
I'm so desperate right now, you wouldn't believe.
We just got him his new crib a few days ago, and he slept in it pretty nice the first night, and now seems back to his old routines of being irritable.

He actually will not take to a pacifier and everyone is telling me I should be thankful for that since it's hard to grow out of?

Last night was a nightmare. He woke up anywhere from every 30 minutes, to every 2 hours, and I'm in at work today. Being at work isn't so bad, because thank God I don't feel it during the day, but the nights are horrible.
Last night I got so frustrated, he started giving a little cry and he had already woken up so many times, that I raised my voice a bit when I was talking and he started wailinggggg, this made me realize he was crying but still sleeping because I startled him - I felt so guilty lol =(

I'm just going to keep trying to have him finish his entire bottle during each feeding.  Is this a good idea?


I BELIEVE HE IS TEETHING ALSO...did my sleep-deprived mind mention that already?lol for about 2 mnths now...
As I was looking through the boards, one of the moderators suggested answering the below questions for better answers so I did.

I would really be grateful for some help, please...thanks to anyone that can offer advice.

hugs!


How old is your child? newly turned 5 mths old
What’s his/her daily routine? wakes (for the past week) at 830ish, naps for a total of 2 hours on good days, during the day.
What’s nap routine? 2 hours total daily, if that.
How long are naps? " "
What's bedtime routine? Time? I usually try to put him to bed at 9 o'clock(He'll have a pre-bedtime nap at 7 pm usually...is this bad?)
Do you bottle or breastfed?? bottle
How much? or how long? Breastfed only 2 mnths in the beginning.
How many wakes per night? approx. 7
What’s your LO like when waking at night? How long is he/she up? He wakes up with a small cry just to let me know he is up, he'll usually fall
asleep after about 10 minutes of drinking a bottle/this is the only way he'll fall asleep!
When you go to him/her is she fussing or crying? Or is it a mantra cry? Not sure what a mantra cry is? Sorry, I am new to this board...he is definitely not wailing, he is just fussy and will stop crying once I pop the bottle into his mouth.
What have you tried to settle?? If this means the pu/pd method, no - not yet, I am going to start trying that tonight - i am SO afraid though, I work a fulltime job and dh is never home during the night as he works the nightshift...i'm just so desperate for sleep, i've put this off for so long =(
Are there developmental issues such as teething or milestones? I believe my LO has been teething for almost 2 mnths now (is that possible?), but nothing is out yet. He drools a lot.
Have you introduced cereal? Why, how much, and how many times a day? (for LO’s under 6 months) Introduced it about a month ago, give it to him through the bottle about 3x a day to try and keep him full at night.
Do they have a prop? If so what is it? Well he will not take to a binky or pacifier, but I try to pat him on his back. This worked while he slept with me in my bed for 1 week while we were trying to transition him from his bassinet to his crib which he's slept in for 2 nights now, and he doesn't want the patting on the back in the crib now! I am running out of options.
Do they have a lovie? LOLOLOL! He loves this little yellow fuzzy duck we got him, yes. He loves his dancing hokey pokey elmo.

[NiknLily]

Hi
Just wanted to give you big BIG HUGS, yours is a little complicated for me but you have come to the right place the ladies here are wonderful, helpful, insightful and supportive.  I'm not saying it will be easy but I'm sure they will be able to help.  One thing you must do tho is get MIL totally on side as she will need to keep up the naps and A times during the day when she looks after him. 
Just a thought on the cereal in bottles, I don't think there is any evidence that this will help a baby sleep, I BF so I'm not 100% but I think this is not recommended at all to do.  Until the good ladies here have given you a plan of action and your committed to a start date, don't beat yourself up about how to get DS to sleep, whatever works quickest will do.  Any accidental parenting can be corrected with the advice you receive.  Obviously once you start in earnest then is the time to try very hard to avoid AP.
Hope all goes well.
more HUGS
newmum

[Colin Macs Mom]

I'm totally with Stacy - I'd bet anything that the cereal is your problem.

[legend_018]

I'm usually one seeking advise "lol". Just some things to watch out for that I dealt with. Is she bottle snacking too much? How often and how much is she drinking again? I know when my LO was very little - she did what my doctor called "self-soothing" and used the bottle to self sooth herself but was drinking every hour on the hour and snacking all the time. After some advise from my doctor I had to start her on a 2 1/2 hour routing...when she finished her bottle I counted 2 1/2 hours later and she wasn't allowed to drink until than. I don't know getting up that many times in the middle of thenight.....u said your lo isn't crying in pain right? My LO had a lot of ear infections. That's probably not it. I'm not so sure 2 hours a day for napping is good for a month old. I think they need more sleep than that? overtiredness is definetely a killer. My 10 month old falls into the overtired trap quicker than I can snap my fingers. 

[NiknLily]

Hi
Just thought I'd add a little.  As the other ladies confirmed cereal in bottle is definitely not a good idea.  Although it is not recommended that you start solids before 6 months as you formula feed its probably OK to start with a little baby rice if you feel getting extra in his tummy is required. 
Personally I think you could probably do with looking at his routine as a whole so you may want to repost on the EASY board or get one of the moderators to move this post for you.  I would say that 2 hrs day time sleep is definitely not enough, good daytime sleep is a must if you want them to sleep well at night.  Also its not clear from your post if he has ever been taught how to sleep independently, if he hasn't then you will never break the cycle of him waking and needing help to get back to sleep.
If you want to repost to look at his whole routine then what will also be helpful is if you can list his usual daytime routine, IE when he wakes up in morning when he eats/drinks when his naps  are what his bedtime routine is and when he goes to bed, plus any dreamfeed or usual night wakings.
Hope this is some more help to you.  Please get back and let us know how it is going when you get chance.
newmum x

[keksa23]

Stacy,
He does the 'bottle snacking' so my feeling has always been that this is a reason (he doesn't finish his entire bottle at once). Our prop is also 'me rolling him on one side and patting his back', or switching him from his back to his stomach, and sometimes (usually at 630am or 7amish), he'll get irritable because he doesn't seem to know what he wants anymore, that he just does that annoyed/short cry. So definitely hunger and prop(s), and I think he has become accustomed to waking up so many times that he just does now.

How Can I stop the night-props (I don't want to be mean and just go cold-turkey, or is that what I'll have to do? Do you let them cry until they fall back asleep? What if he doesn't and then I'm up for an hour with him? lol...help! I'd like to know what the best way is to stop propping).
And how do I keep him as full as possible through the night?

Its an old age old wives tale that cereal solves night feeds, is actually makes  them worse.  Cereal has practically nothing nutrionally,in fact many say not to even give cereal as it serves little benefit. That many waking at this age would most likely indicate hungry, props and or over t ired, I think you have atleast two, hunger and over tired. 

I would take the cereal out and feed all formula, 4 times a day, at 4 hour intervals.  Then expect 1-2 night feeds. YOu can also consider a dream feed which is fed in thier sleep at around 10-10:30pm.   As for solids, you could keep them maybe once a day, but you d ont really need t hem at 5 months old.  If you are only wanting them to solve nights, i would leave them out as formula will solve nights, not food, At 5 months old most babies still have 1-2 night feeds so please expect this. 

Really its gonna depend on convincing your mil so follow what you want!

Oh also starting solids too early (before 6 months) or feed large quantities of cereal and also possibly doing through bottles can lead to digestion issues and possible constipation and this tends to really effect nights, so some of yoru night issues could also be pain from that

Its an old age old wives tale that cereal solves night feeds, is actually makes  them worse.  Cereal has practically nothing nutrionally,in fact many say not to even give cereal as it serves little benefit. That many waking at this age would most likely indicate hungry, props and or over t ired, I think you have atleast two, hunger and over tired. 

I would take the cereal out and feed all formula, 4 times a day, at 4 hour intervals.  Then expect 1-2 night feeds. YOu can also consider a dream feed which is fed in thier sleep at around 10-10:30pm.   As for solids, you could keep them maybe once a day, but you d ont really need t hem at 5 months old.  If you are only wanting them to solve nights, i would leave them out as formula will solve nights, not food, At 5 months old most babies still have 1-2 night feeds so please expect this. 

Really its gonna depend on convincing your mil so follow what you want!

Oh also starting solids too early (before 6 months) or feed large quantities of cereal and also possibly doing through bottles can lead to digestion issues and possible constipation and this tends to really effect nights, so some of yoru night issues could also be pain from that

[keksa23]

newmum,
Hi,
No 2 hours is definitely not enough for any baby at 5 months of age. He's very jumpy, but he hasn't learned to even roll over from stomach to back yet...he used to do it a bit at 3 months, and OCCASSIONALLY does it now, but he gets frustrated when he tries to crawl, etc.
He DOES NOT know how to sleep independently. This is another goal of mine, but MIL does not want to hear him cry even a bit. This past Friday night after I posted, I had printed out the pu/pd method and tried it on  him for like 15 only, because I felt so sorry for him and felt like it would never work on "him" because he had already developed a habit of doing what he does (DS). I honestly do not care if I'm losing sleep - I'm just worried about my LO getting enough rest. He is a really healthy, happy child, but he is in the 50th percentile in everything (growth, weight, etc.).
I will re-post his whole routine in the section you suggested ("easy", is it called easy, or something else?), but I will also post it here just in case (I'm trying to remember as much as possible because have been back at work for 3 months now, and we don't have a set schedule for his feedings (by his demand lol), but we do try to keep his naps consistent when we see he wants to sleep):
nightfeedings = 4 bottles of 4 ounces each, but he does not finish his bottles, especially in the late night, but gradually drinks everytime he wakes up
8amish - wakes up
830/9ish - bottle
10amish - goes for his first nap which normally lasts 40 minutes only
11amish - bath
11:20ish - bottle
noonish - nap (if he'll take one)

(not sure what goes on from now until the time I get home around 615pm, but pretty certain he does not nap again)...

7pmish - he gets weary so I normally am able to get him to nap for about 40-1 hour

9pmish/940ish- anywhere within this time, I'll do the cereal and the formula (will eliminate the cereal from now on), and he will sleep for about an hour straight and then will wake up (for what reason I do not know), but I stick the bottle in his mouth and sometimes he drinks well and sometimes drinks maybe an ounce and goes right back to sleep, but I do ALWAYS go in the room and feed him when he does this, I don't just leave him.

then it's waking up at different intervals, lately it's been every 1-2 hours.

Hi
Just thought I'd add a little.  As the other ladies confirmed cereal in bottle is definitely not a good idea.  Although it is not recommended that you start solids before 6 months as you formula feed its probably OK to start with a little baby rice if you feel getting extra in his tummy is required. 
Personally I think you could probably do with looking at his routine as a whole so you may want to repost on the EASY board or get one of the moderators to move this post for you.  I would say that 2 hrs day time sleep is definitely not enough, good daytime sleep is a must if you want them to sleep well at night.  Also its not clear from your post if he has ever been taught how to sleep independently, if he hasn't then you will never break the cycle of him waking and needing help to get back to sleep.
If you want to repost to look at his whole routine then what will also be helpful is if you can list his usual daytime routine, IE when he wakes up in morning when he eats/drinks when his naps  are what his bedtime routine is and when he goes to bed, plus any dreamfeed or usual night wakings.
Hope this is some more help to you.  Please get back and let us know how it is going when you get chance.
newmum x

[keksa23]

Stacy,
I like the idea of having scheduled feedings.
How many ounces should I be giving 4x every 4 hrs?

Dreamfeed = feeding them before they even wake up?

Also,
I'm so sensitive about the pu/pd issue. (See other post). I tried it this past Friday and just felt so bad doing it. I felt like I was irritating him pointlessly. Should I just try changing the feeding schedule first and see what happens? How much time should I give this?

Its an old age old wives tale that cereal solves night feeds, is actually makes  them worse.  Cereal has practically nothing nutrionally,in fact many say not to even give cereal as it serves little benefit. That many waking at this age would most likely indicate hungry, props and or over t ired, I think you have atleast two, hunger and over tired. 

I would take the cereal out and feed all formula, 4 times a day, at 4 hour intervals.  Then expect 1-2 night feeds. YOu can also consider a dream feed which is fed in thier sleep at around 10-10:30pm.   As for solids, you could keep them maybe once a day, but you d ont really need t hem at 5 months old.  If you are only wanting them to solve nights, i would leave them out as formula will solve nights, not food, At 5 months old most babies still have 1-2 night feeds so please expect this. 

Really its gonna depend on convincing your mil so follow what you want!

Oh also starting solids too early (before 6 months) or feed large quantities of cereal and also possibly doing through bottles can lead to digestion issues and possible constipation and this tends to really effect nights, so some of yoru night issues could also be pain from that

[keksa23]

You know, now that you mention this, he does bottle feed A LOT.
He will not take to a pacifier, so I think he treats this as his pacifier.
He has been tugging at his ear/side of his head a bit (last time we saw the doctor, he was doing the same and the doctor said he was fine), but he also has a small lymphnode on that side of his head from birth that did not go away but doctor said it wasn't anything to worry about. Seems like he puts his hand between his ear and this part of his head.

I will try the 2.5 hour feedign schedule since my LO does like to snack a lot, and then if that does not work I'll try new mum's suggestion about the every 4 hour feedings. I hope something works.

Any suggestions on how to get my LO to nap if he has no signs of weariness?

I'm usually one seeking advise "lol". Just some things to watch out for that I dealt with. Is she bottle snacking too much? How often and how much is she drinking again? I know when my LO was very little - she did what my doctor called "self-soothing" and used the bottle to self sooth herself but was drinking every hour on the hour and snacking all the time. After some advise from my doctor I had to start her on a 2 1/2 hour routing...when she finished her bottle I counted 2 1/2 hours later and she wasn't allowed to drink until than. I don't know getting up that many times in the middle of thenight.....u said your lo isn't crying in pain right? My LO had a lot of ear infections. That's probably not it. I'm not so sure 2 hours a day for napping is good for a month old. I think they need more sleep than that? overtiredness is definetely a killer. My 10 month old falls into the overtired trap quicker than I can snap my fingers. 

[NiknLily]

Hi
Its a common worry to feel you are being cruel while doing PU/PD, believe me you are not being anything of the sort.  Also you have to believe PU/PD will work, because done correctly it will work.  It will take a while for him to get used to it as its new to him so he will complain that you are not doing what you normally do.  If your lucky it may take only 20Min's but I've done it for 1.5 - 2hrs before now.  You just have to keep at it.  Be as consistant in your new way as you was with the old.  The technique involves you teaching him that he goes to sleep on his own while you are there to comfort him while he cries, thus not leaving him feeling abandoned. 

Be sure to only hold him for 2-3Min's even if he is still crying lay him all the way down remove physical contact and say OK mummy will pick you back up.  The key is not to hold too long at this age as they are now able to think I want mummy to cuddle me not lay down if I cry harder she will keep holding me.  Also don't hold him if hes fighting you pushing you away or borrowing his head, in this case lay him back down, he probably wont stop crying but try to calm him and reassure where he lays with your voice, I find my LO likes her head gently stroked. 

You will also need to do this when he wakes in the night.  If you follow the feeding schedule and nap routine suggested which I strongly advise and give a dream feed you should find he will take good feeds through the day as he will be hungry if hes kept to the routine at the right times.  Then when he wakes at night use PU/PD if he has woken less than 3.5hrs since last feed if its over that it will be OK to feed him, like wise if he wakes again the same principal applies.

For the future you need to remember that as they grow PU/PD is adapted at 6months you don't do any prolonged holding then by 8months if LO is sitting up or standing up in cot you only do the PD part without PU at all.  But like I say thats for the future.

Again I cant stress enough you need MIL to follow the  routine using PU/PD for his naps while she looks after him and needs to only feed him at the right time.  Otherwise all your efforts in every other area will be an uphill struggle if they work at all.

Hope this is of help
newmum x

[magda1461]

hugs to you...
regarding your question on how to put a baby to bed if theyr not tired.. well i wouldnt do it..you need to watch for their tired cues to get their naps right..so if he's not showing any then he aint tired and itll be a real struggle to get him to sleep!

have you tried cluster feeding? so feed 4hrs through the day then at say 4 feed and again at 6 feed and then bedtime bottle? this helped my LO..

PUPD is hard but it definitely works!!!! ive been there done that my first night it took 45mins and 6 PUPD then the next night only 30mins and 3PUPD then 3rd night she went to sleep on her own after 10mins! no PUPD necessary...

could your mum come over the night and help you as it can be a very exhausting process.

good luck...

[keksa23]

Stacy,
The night I tried to pu/pd I would:
pick him up when he cried, he'd stop crying after about 5 seconds, and I'd put him down.

Immediately, I mean he woudl hardly touch the mattress, he'd start crying again lol

Do I, at this point, pick him up immediately again, or do I let him cry for a bit. If cry, for how long?
Can I at least use my prop of patting his back so that I'm not going completely cold turkey on him.

I feel so cruel. I'm sure this is a proven method, but really if a baby has no choice with us sort of forcing them to learn to sleep on their own, isn't this just being unkind? oh goshhh I hope he takes to it well the next time I try it. But I will wait for the answers to above questions first - I want to do it right.

Hi
Its a common worry to feel you are being cruel while doing PU/PD, believe me you are not being anything of the sort.  Also you have to believe PU/PD will work, because done correctly it will work.  It will take a while for him to get used to it as its new to him so he will complain that you are not doing what you normally do.  If your lucky it may take only 20Min's but I've done it for 1.5 - 2hrs before now.  You just have to keep at it.  Be as consistant in your new way as you was with the old.  The technique involves you teaching him that he goes to sleep on his own while you are there to comfort him while he cries, thus not leaving him feeling abandoned. 

Be sure to only hold him for 2-3Min's even if he is still crying lay him all the way down remove physical contact and say OK mummy will pick you back up.  The key is not to hold too long at this age as they are now able to think I want mummy to cuddle me not lay down if I cry harder she will keep holding me.  Also don't hold him if hes fighting you pushing you away or borrowing his head, in this case lay him back down, he probably wont stop crying but try to calm him and reassure where he lays with your voice, I find my LO likes her head gently stroked. 

You will also need to do this when he wakes in the night.  If you follow the feeding schedule and nap routine suggested which I strongly advise and give a dream feed you should find he will take good feeds through the day as he will be hungry if hes kept to the routine at the right times.  Then when he wakes at night use PU/PD if he has woken less than 3.5hrs since last feed if its over that it will be OK to feed him, like wise if he wakes again the same principal applies.

For the future you need to remember that as they grow PU/PD is adapted at 6months you don't do any prolonged holding then by 8months if LO is sitting up or standing up in cot you only do the PD part without PU at all.  But like I say thats for the future.

Again I cant stress enough you need MIL to follow the  routine using PU/PD for his naps while she looks after him and needs to only feed him at the right time.  Otherwise all your efforts in every other area will be an uphill struggle if they work at all.

Hope this is of help
newmum x

[momofclaire]

Keksa-  Just wanted to see how it's going?  Stacy has given wonderful advice.  I haven't read your other posts sorry.  Are you on a good easy sch now? 

[NiknLily]

Hi

Stacy,
I feel so cruel. I'm sure this is a proven method, but really if a baby has no choice with us sort of forcing them to learn to sleep on their own, isn't this just being unkind? oh goshhh I hope he takes to it well the next time I try it. But I will wait for the answers to above questions first - I want to do it right.

Please don't fret, believe me you really aren't being cruel, your not forcing him to learn to go to sleep on his own, your TEACHING him how to go to sleep on his own.  IMHO what would be cruel would be to leave him to cry it out, which strangely is all too common advice from doctors/health visitors etc.  In that case or even with control crying then you really are forcing LO to go to sleep independently as they have no other choice.  PU/PD is really the only way to teach your LO that they do have to go to sleep WITHOUT YOUR HELP.  But they aren't on their own you are right there to comfort and reassure all the way.  In no time at all you will be able to lay him down awake after his wind down routine and leave the room and he will happily go of to the land of nod on his own.

Something else that I don't think has been mentioned so far is Wind down routine.  You may already be aware that you need to spend maybe 10Min's at his age just chilling out, calming down and getting into the mind set for sleep. It should always be the same routine for naps & bedtime.  It will help him make good sleep associations when you start to do your winddown routine and he will know that he is expected to go to sleep now.  When they are very young you do the 4S routine, being Set the scene, ie go into bedroom close curtains, Swaddle, Sitting quietly not rocking etc and Shush Pat when necessary.  Obviously as they get older you don't swaddle or necessarily use shush pat, but its still important to do some sort of winding down process.

Let us know how you get on.
newmum x

[magda1461]

HI
i know pupd is hard...but it did work for us i wouldnt let me DD cry too much when i put her down, first i would reassure her with a hand on her or stroke her tummy/back first but if she continued to cry then id PU again till she stopped crying...

[keksa23]

Hi momofclaire,
I wanted to wait until tomorrow (Friday) night to start anything because I am so exhausted and I might as well wait until the weekend to do anything as far as changing DS's habits.

I will definitely let you guys know how it goes (pray for me! lol)...

Also, he is not on an "easy schedule"...where do I post about that because someone else also suggested that as well, I just couldn't find the board

Keksa-  Just wanted to see how it's going?  Stacy has given wonderful advice.  I haven't read your other posts sorry.  Are you on a good easy sch now? 

[momofclaire]

Keksa-

Here is the link to the easy board
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?board=41.0
Be sure to check out the faq sticky at the top.  There is a ton of info there about how to start easy. Good Luck.

[momofclaire]

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=10385.0   - link to easy sch for your babies age
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=69369. - link to starting easy after 4 months of age
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=63534.0  Just about easy

Hope these help.  I would recommend getting a copy of the BW book.  I reference mine all the time.  It has been very helpful.
Good Luck

[NiknLily]

Hi Keska23
Sorry I cocked up the "quote" feature on my last post, the quote was just the first paragraph, the rest was my post.
I have my fingers crossed for you, for this weekend.
newmum x

[keksa23]

newmumx,
thanks so much...i hope everything goes right for me too.
i don't know if i should just start with changing his feeding schedule or start with that AND the pu/pd...based now on the suggestions of the other nice ladies here of going over to the easy board.
i feel so sorry for him already; i know he's going to be hard-headed about it, but it's for his own good! LOL
thank you...i will keep everyone posted

[NiknLily]

Hi Keska23
One last piece of advise, try not to feel sorry for him and don't feel guilty, your not doing anything wrong, quite the opposite, your not hurting him in any way and he certainly wont love you any less for putting him on EASY and sleep training.  Keep in mind that a baby who sleeps well is a baby who eats well is a baby who thrives and babies really do thrive on a good routine, they like to know whats coming next so they can concentrate on doing what babies do best learning everything there is to know about his world and he will feel secure and comforted knowing that mummy knows best whats good for him.
newmum x

[keksa23]

 
Hi ladies,
Well here is my very short update on how things went this weekend.
Friday evening and night I noted his wake up times and routines (oh my goodness, it looks so much worse on paper lol...like 10 wakings)...and then Saturday and Sunday I went ahead with the EASY schedule.
All I can say is WOW!
He actually sort of fell into the sleep parts easily, because I just watched for the sleepiness signs and then did his usual rocking and voila!
The feedings were just a little rocky - I had to supplemental with 2 daily cereal/carrot mixtures.
His sleep has been the same for these last few nights though...should I be expecting this to change that quickly?

1) How long will it be before I start seeing changes in his night sleep?
2) Today would be day 4 of him being on EASY, so what is next for him? Do I just keep going with EASY and hope his night sleeping will change? Or do I do something in addition to this at night (i.e., refusing a bottle for him and use patting instead, etc.?) I think he also has an ear infection, any homeopathic remedies or medicines for suggestion?

Thank you all! And please keep giving me advice - I am just having such a hard time with this and it's really taking a toll on my confidence as far as feeling like I have control over a situation is concerned, and also feeling like I lack creativity when it comes to being a mother for my child.

[NiknLily]

Hi Keska
Great news that EASY is going so well.  In answer to your questions, there is no way of knowing how long it will take before you start seeing an improvement in his night sleep.  Really you need to get as much formula into him as you can during the day, but only at the right time for his schedule by cluster feeding in the evening and dream feeding no later than 11pm (10.30 probably best so its done by 11pm) then things should improve.  If you do this and things still don't start to improve then it may be time to work on sleep training. 

You will need to be fairly confident tho' that you can tell the difference between mummy I'm hungry feed me now! and mummy I woke up help me back to sleep, cries.  You can do this by listening carfully to his cries when he wakes and noting how much he actually takes from the bottle.  If he doesn't take much at all then it will most likely be he just wanted the bottle to go back to sleep, if he takes a good feed then you can be sure it was a hungry cry.  You should be find that the cries will be different, all babies are different so I cant say for sure what they will sound like.  I do know that a new borns hungry cry starts with a little cough noise in the back of there throat before the wa waa waaa, but I don't know at what age this cry changes.

Remember what I mentioned about the time of the wakings, if your sure he has had a good daily intake then wakings that occur less than 3.5/4 hrs (whichever schedule your on) should be treated as night wakings not hunger wakings.

When you ask what is next do you just keep him on EASY, the answer is YES, he is now an EASY baby and will remain so until he no longer takes daytime naps.  But remember that they don't stay still on easy for very long at all, his routine will gradually change as he grows he will stay awake longer then take fewer and fewer naps until he is on just one a day.  Our job is to be one step ahead and be ready for the changes as they happen, even sometimes give them a gentle nudge along by stretching awake times for them.

I would most definitely get that possible ear infection checked out by your doctor, they can be very nasty and repeat over and over until school age.  Your doctor may know of some homeopathic remedies but its probable he will need antibiotics.  One thing for sure you wont be able to sort out his night wakings and his daytime routine could be upset if he does have an ear infection.

With regard to the solids you have introduced.  If that is really what you want to do or feel you need to do then thats your choice.  My LO was 5 months 1 week when we started solids, I just felt the time was right for us and we haven't looked back.  However be aware that up till they are at least 8/9 months old its all just practice eating really, you aren't relying on the solids to either fill them up, keep them full or provide the nutrients they need.  In fact, milk in whatever form is THE most important part of your LO diet until they are 1 year old.  So it really is important that you get the formula intake up to the max.

I know how you feel about your confidence in your mothering capabilities, but you've just taken a great step forward and it sounds like you have made a really good start.  So kudos to you, you are a good mum.  Once you get really in the swing of EASY and especially when you start to see or make (whichever) some improvement to his night wakings your confidence will take a huge leap forward.

I agree with Stacy about trying to get him to sleep independently without you rocking, but as with the night wakings I would wait until you are confident that you have got the rest of EASY down pat.  Once your happy about your routine it will give you the extra confidence you need to start with the sleep training.  Personally I would sleep train day & night simultaneously so you don't confuse him, other wise he will not know why you rock him at night but not during the day or vice versa.

take care and keep me updated.

newmum x

[heartforall260]

   I just wanted to send you huggs.  My DD is just a little older than your baby.  We're on a 3.5 hour routine.  I want to pass on some of the best advice I've been given since joining BW, "tackle one problem at a time."  Eating...Naps...Nights...etc.  You can totaly do this!  It'll be really important to have MIL on board with what ever aproach you take.

We're all with you!

~ Joy