Aren't we doing it right? Why isn't it working?

[calgarymommy]

Hi Moms!
My 7m little girl has never slept through the night.
I am a firm believer in EASY.
My goal for each day of EASY:
E: 7:00 5-6oz bottle
E: 8-8:30 solids
A:
S: 9-9:30
(sometimes sleeps til 10-10:30) Try to get her to put herself back to sleep cuz i know it's the 45min sleep intruder. Usually, she ends up getting up..
Y: 9-10:30

E: 11:00 5oz
E: 12:00 solids
A:12:30-1:00
S: 1:00-2:30 or 3:00
Y: 1-3:00

E:3:00 5oz bottle
A:3-5:30 (5pm is bath time)
E: 5:30 bottle
S: for the night (have tried to wake her to feed her to add another EASY to the day, but she is useless!

Then- she's up at 11:30 and 5:00am or 9pm, 3am, 6am. Have tried p/sh- but not hard enough I guess! I am sooo confused- cuz she'll eat a full feed at each wake time- even if I try to get her to go back to sleep... she is so unsettled and cries uncontollably- until I give a bottle and then it's like a tranquilizer!

So my questions are:
DO I feed her enough during the day?
Should she be getting a later, LAST EASY ? How do I instill this?
Is P/SH the best method for night time- or do I move to PU/PD?

My baby is healthy- and 17lbs- so no need for her to be that hungry at night?

Any advice? I'm tired!

Michelle

 

[georgyporgysmum]

Hi Michelle

Your schedule looks pretty good, my 7.5 DS is about the same but with 6-8oz bottles 4x a day, but he goes to bed about 7.30pm.

i've found with my ds its sometimes quicker to do the pu/pd if the shh/pat is taking ages and he's actually crying properly as with pu/pd he calms right down and then i recommence the shh/pat when its just a soft or moany cry.

When your DS wakes at night what happes, does she cry straight away? what do you do to attempt to settle? how long is it taking to get back to sleep each time?

 

[calgarymommy]

Hi.
She wakes and the cry starts out slow, like she's warning us-then it gets out of hand if we don't go in soon. Then when we go in, it stops immediatley. But starts again if you don't do anything for her.

I've tried p/sh and she will quiet down for a while fussing on and off, but then pipe up again until uncontrolled- so I do PU/Pd and she will soothe will PU- then scream at PD- and then I can't take it and give up, giving the bottle- which she usually gobbles right up-
so I assume she was REALLY hungry. But she shouldn't be so hungry?
So that's the norm- it used to be that she just worked real hard to get to socialize and have a few sucks on the bottle- now here we are with 12 oz of milk at night... which messes up our day... a cycle!!!

M

[georgyporgysmum]

So are you feeding 12 oz of milk in one feeding at night or thats the total across all the night wakings?

How long have you been trying to shhh/patt for to settle her ? - i was regularly shhh/patting for up to an hour  (with no pick up)when i was weaning him from his paci  .

I found with night wakings to consistently do the shhh/patt (or pu/pd whatever works for you) EVERYTIME he woke EVERY night until the time it takes to settle with the shh/patt shrinks and shrinks until you're not needed.

I imagine aswell you may have created a feeding habit in the night - perhaps you could try to increase the day intake so you're sure she's had the right amount in the 24hours, and then you can withhold the feeding at night - although you'll probably have to use a ssh/pat or pu/pd method for a few nights for her to accept the change. But when you make the decision you have to be in the right frame of mind and committed to see it through or you might give in and DD will and up confused. Sorry this is a bit of a ramble...

[calgarymommy]

12 oz total through the night- Yes, I think it has to be a habit to feed at night now...
Yes, you are right about feeding her more during the day. I will try and get more in to her... I will also try out the p/sh and see how we do tonight and next etc. I really want to get back to normal!
Thanks for the advice- I don't mind the rambling!

Michelle

[georgyporgysmum]

Good luck with the shh/patt.

I've found personally that I have to be very confident that the cry is not for anything else but sleep, otherwise you end up questioning yourself halfway through and perhaps thinking 'maybe it is this or that'. Once you are confident DS has had enough to eat in the day, then you'll be be more confident to eliminate hunger from the equation and go on with your shh/pating from there and see it through.

 

[calgarymommy]

Just one more question about your experience- Did you go in EVERYTIME there was a fussy peep- or until it was a true cry? I just don't want to start jumping everytime I hear a peep. I feel like i should give her a chance, just in case she'll go back to sleep?

M

[georgyporgysmum]

Yes i was confused about that dilemma.

I thought if i leave him for a bit he may resettle back to sleep on his own - but then if i leave him too long he may wake up more fully and be more difficult to get back to sleep!

In the end we decided to let the cry escalate a bit at least to give him chance to resettle if he could -  and then go in when its definitely escalating (which might take a few minutes). Once he was actually crying, i would then sshh/pat him to sleep (which would vary from 5-10 minutes to 50 minutes) I also figured that if he did wake up a bit more fully at least he would be learning to get back to sleep.

In the end, the time you have to sshh/pat decreases until its just maybe a minute or 2, and then eventually they resettle without doing the 'need you' cry and there are less frequency of night wakings until they disappear - unti you get a new problem!

If your DD has associated the bottle with going to sleep, then your shh/patting will be teaching her to fall asleep on her own without the bottle, and it will eventually help with day sleep aswell.

HTH

[momofclaire]

Michelle-  I agree you need to get lo to drink more during the day.  Will she drink more if you offer it?
I would also recommend not going it at the first noise, you may be shocked to find she can settle herself.  Of course if she is crying I would go in but a little mantra cry is ok.

[debo620]

Hi, I think another option is to slowly water down the feed/feeds you want to eliminate. so like intead of 6oz water/3 scoops formula, you would do 2.5 scoops formula/6oz water and then 2 scoops/6oz water etc.  slowly decreasing the actual calories she is taking in at night may help you increase the amnt during the day and eliminate the night habitual hunger.

[calgarymommy]

Hi! I tried p/sh last night and it worked like a dream!
we fed her at 10pm for the last dream feed. then she was up at 4am- for 40mins of p/sh. Then she was up at 6:15 and my husband fed her 7oz! The most ever- then she had a good amount of solids too- and sh'e happy as a clam!
Thanks for your advice... We will continue doing this!