Moms of 3-month-olds: HELP!

[tara72]

I know I have posted several times asking questions about how to help with this and that and the other, but I just can't seem to get things to go smoother. 

my 12-week-old (almost 3 months) has had a few nights where she wakes 5 times a night. my husband and I are going crazy because we can't function during the day on 4.5 hours of broken up sleep. here is what a typical day at home sort of looks like (it gets messed up when we go out and about):

W: 7:30 AM (between 1 and 7:30 W)
E: a total of 3-4 oz (some EBM some Formula)
S: 8:50 - 10:55 (almost 2 hour nap, which I woke her from)

E: a total of about 4 oz (some EBM some Formula)
S: 12:25 - 1:10  (45 minute nap after trying w2s)

E: a total of 3-4 oz (some EBM some Formula)
S: 2:30 - 3:10 (40 minute nap after trying w2s)

E: about 3 oz (some EBM some Formula)
S: 4:30 - 5:15 (45 minute nap)

E and A (bathtime, read story)
S: 6:45 PM (bedtime usually ends up around 7-7:30, depending on how her day pans out)

we have been struggling with 45-minute naps for a while, and for the last couple weeks we have been extending her awake time from one hour to between 1.25 hours and 1.5 hours. and we have been trying to gently wake her into light sleep (w2s) around the 35-40 minute mark.

at night, I started doing dream feeds a couple weeks ago. I thought they were sort of working, but maybe they aren't anymore! I start out nursing at night but then switch to formula that my husband brings me after maybe 5 minutes of nursing. with these numerous wakings, she doesn't eat much.

after reading, I realize she shouldn't be waking more than twice at night, which she used to do. in fact, she was waking only once at night for a while.

how should we try to put her to sleep? when should we feed her and when should we not? suggestions?

thank you in advance!

[Colin Macs Mom]

The short naps have a lot to do with the wakings - good daytime sleep leads to good nighttime sleep. An attack from the 45 minute nap monster is normal, plus LOs get a huge growth spurt around 3 mo. as well.

I'm not clear on when you're currently feeding at night - can you explain? Just the DF or outside of that?

[tara72]

thanks for your reply! I am starting to realize that daytime sleep has a lot more to do with night time sleep than I realized!

at night, I typically feed her when she gets up. it used to only be twice a night, and when she started waking up every 2 hours or so, at first, I tried feeding her everytime (but she wouldn't eat much) and once or twice, I would try to just put her back to sleep again. now I'll probably try to figure out when she really is hungry, maybe twice a night, instead of feeding her all x # of times.

I start out nursing her at night feedings, only for about 5-10 minutes (while hubby goes downstairs to get the formula). then when she falls off, I'll start feeding her the formula. she will eat maybe 1-2 ounces of formula.

the dreamfeed is typically 2 ounces of formula, but the last few days, she hasnt' been eating more than an ounce, if that. and I can't get her awake enough to eat more without waking her.

thanks again for your reply. every response gets my brain working!

 --tara

[Colin Macs Mom]

No worries Tara - it helps a lot to have a fresh set of eyes at the situation. I still have a much easier time figuring out other people's than my own!!

You definitely don't want to continue feeding every time she wakes. That will quickly become a prop and believe me, that's soooo not worth it. At her age it would be normal to have at least one night feed, probably two since she's not taking much for DF (you know, since she's not you might consider just not doing it).

Have you tried extending the naps? How long have you been doing W2S?

[kiku14]

my baby found his fingers around 12 weeks and one night i guided his thumb into his mouth and now he manages to self soothe by sucking his thumb.  that night i stayed and did the shush pat and picked him up a couple times to soothe him.

[tara72]

thank you for the advice, ladies! the last two nights have been better. last night, she only woke up twice.

tonite, she woke up three times. on two feedings, we tried feeding her and she ate hardly anything. so then we wouldn't feed her and tried the pacifier. she didn't always like it and cried for quite a bit, but she eventually went down. we may keep trying that if she keeps waking up more than twice a night.

I dropped the DF for the last two nights, but I might try it again tomorrow night. we're just trying to figure out what works best for her. my husband would love for her to have NO feedings or one feeding max at night, but I keep telling him to wait for another month, THEN we'll consider more to wean her from night feedings and that two feedings right now is okay.

thanks again.
     
 --tara

[Colin Macs Mom]

In another month you can probably eliminate one night feed, but she will likely need the other for a while yet. Sorry Tara's DH!