me desperate for help- cant cope

[suzie767]

thanks for this, i tried shush/pat from birth and found that gradualyy it was becoming less effective, at first he might get back off to sleep but after around 6 weeks i was doing it for hours at each nap and as soon as i tried to stop he would start crying so i was falling on to props, dummys, rocking chairs, even carrying him around to try and get him some sleep. in the last week the shush/pat didnt even stop him from crying he cries right through. i put off pu/pd as long as possible as per bw advise. my friend even advised me to do crying it out method as she said it was the only way he would learn to sleep during the day( i know he knows how to get himself back to sleep as he does it at night)

in the end rather than fall on props or abandon the poor soul i adapted pu/pd for a younger baby. rather then pick him up all the way from the mattress i lift the upper half of his body and cradle it in my arms until he quiets then i genty lower him down again. i feel by doing this i am teaching him to sooth him self in his naps ( in the last few days he can now get himself to sleep on his own and settles more easily when he wakes) also i try to sooth him initially with words and stroking and sometimes this works ( not often but more so since i began my adapted pu/pd) however i only start pu/pd when his cries become desperate and i cant consle him with anything else

 i find this adaptation to really help him without being too stimulating as per the bw.

your comments and suggestions are very welcome

[Layla]

At the start all I did was props and didn't really start sleep training till mine was 9wo and with #2 until she was 4months old. I think they only start learning how to self soothe at around 3 months and I wasn't too worried about accidental parenting because when they are so young and have been used to being rocked to sleep for 9 months, you have to give them some time to adjust to the new world.

I wouldn't do cio or cc... its just not fair to have your lo go through that. It doesn't work and you don't want him thinking that no one cares. Night sleep usually starts developing around 6 weeks so its great that he knows how to fall asleep at night and that you are having longer stretches. Day sleep at around 3-6 months. Some babies do find shushing annoying so maybe just try patting and whispering in the ear or humming. I did this with Jasmine - when I would shush, she used to get more hyped. But if what you are doing is working, that is enough! Honestly, 45mins naps is very common at this age. My lo only got over the 45 min naps at 5months. EASY might not look like true EASY for a while but as long as you stick to the feeding schedule & fit in naps in between, thats ok. If your lo is not falling back asleep for another cycle, pick him up and give him some more A time until he is showing tired signs. It could be in another 30mins and he'll probably have another 45min nap but this is very common behaviour. If its time to feed just before a nap, feed him... as long as he is not falling asleep by the bottle (or breast).

hth
Layla

[dtrias]

Hey I'm just joining in the discussion.  I agree with what has already been said.  There is no need to feed a bf baby on demand past 8 weeks (actually Tracy says there is no need to ever feed on demand as she recommends her EASY routine right from birth which is what i did with my lo w/o any problems in the eating department anyway)  Since you bf to sleep you may want to try the Pantley gentle removal technique if you find you dont have the nerves for lots of crying.(after so little sleep you probably dont!)  She describes it in her book No Cry Sleep solution which is the only book besides Tracy's that i have found of any use.  Its how I got my lo off her paci.  She was waking up every two hours looking for it prior to that.  You might find it of use in your situation.   Take heart and good luck.

[suzie767]

thanks, i tried this for the first 10 weeks along with other soothing methods but it never really worked and in the end it was making him more angry and he cried throughout.

i was having to fall onto props to get him to sleep and these even stopped working as he was so over tired. my friend suggested crying it out as a last resort but i couldnt do that to him so i adapted pu/pd so that i only lift the upper half of his body slighlty off the mattress and cradle him until he quiets then gently lower him down. i still try other sooting methids first as sometimes they work( he is less overtired in the last few days so soothing him is easier)

 i have done it for 2 days and have already seen some results. he now gets in to his naps alone and sleeps for half an hour before waking, if i pu/pd he then sleeps for about 10 mins in between crying bouts. i am going to try this for a few more days as i feel it is a last resort

if theres anything else you think i should try i am open to suggestions as i would prefer not to have to do pu/pd

 

[Erin (redstarfalling)]

There is no need to feed a bf baby on demand past 8 weeks (actually Tracy says there is no need to ever feed on demand as she recommends her EASY routine right from birth which is what i did with my lo w/o any problems in the eating department anyway) 

Hi there - I'm just going to comment on this.  It's true that bf babies probably don't need to be fed "on demand", but you may wish to feed them "on cue" - which is to say, when they are hungry and as asking for it.  Something to consider when doing BW for breastfed babies is that some people take the guidelines of 3 hours between feeds too much to heart, and the truth is that not all bf babies can go that long - even after 8 weeks.  If your baby can, then great, but I know many bf babies who have to be on a 2.5 hr cycle even past 4 months (due to reflux or just small stomachs!). So I just wanted to throw it in there that even though Tracy said that, take it with a grain of salt - some of her info on bf'ing is now a bit out of date, and she would have likely changed it in a new book, if she could.  My 2 cents!