Napping is a no go

[Penut's Mom]

Hi there,

I have an adorable little 4month old who detests nap time. Our day looks like this...

7am wake up and E
7:30 - 8:30 A
8:30 wind down time (stories, cuddles and swaddle)
8:50 S
duration of S varies from 30min - 1.5 hours. 9/10 the duration is no longer than 45 min.
10:30 E
11:00 A
12 S
2 E
2:30 A
4 S
5:30 E
6:30 Cat nap
7:30 final feed, bath and bed
she creates such a fuss after night time swaddle that I end up giving her more milk while swaddled.

When on a 3 hour bed time was 8:30 - when we moved bedtime to 7:30 or 8 she wakes up at 9:30 or 10 before the dream feed.

For nap time we've been watching for tired cues, rubbing eyes and yawning etc. we go into her room as soon as we notice these cues and start our wind down. we've tried shortening it, lengthening it and yeah no. we've tried an arm out of the swaddle, both arms out, no swaddle. She simply wakes up. sometimes she yawns when I come in and sometimes she is bright eyed and giggles when she sees me. She does not cry for me she screams and the screams escalate. I've tried waiting her out a bit to see if she can settle herself.

So... the other part that complicates this is that my husband cannot even get her down for a nap. she will only go if I take her. She cuddles with me.. .and yes we use a prop - her soother. I will sit in a rocker (not rocking though) and pat her back while shhhhing till she gets dozy then I will try to transfer into her crib. sometimes she bolts her eyes open and protests other times I am too late and she is asleep and the odd time I am able to continue shhing and she falls asleep.

When she does wake from a nap after only 45 min I usually go in and shhh from the door, pick her up and pat her back while shhing and try putting her down again. if this does not work then i will sit back in the chair and go through the process all over again. the kink is that when I try to put her in her crib 9/10 she will have her eyes closed and I'll leave the room for no more than 2 min and she's screaming again. I've tried staying in longer but I swear she is faking me out.

I've tried accepting that she is just a short napper but then she is just wildly over tired. Not to mention how do I get it so that my hubby can put her down. He is fine until he picks her up from the swaddle. she starts bellowing and wont stop. then she gets to that hysterical point where you have to unrwap her, calm her and then mommy has to take over. it is totally blowing my hubby's confidence and putting a strain on me as I feel I can't leave the house during nap time or when I come home my daughter will be in the swing (our last resort when she wont sleep any other way).

She does sleep through the night. Anywhere from 10-11hours depending on what time we get her to sleep.

Oh boy that was a huge rant... I'm not sure what I am asking. Hopefully someone can relate and see some sort of something I have not tried. I would appreciate any help you can think of.

Esp with. 1. how to get her naps to go beyond 45 min.
2. how to get her to sleep without me being there

Thanks in advance!!!

[*Natasha*]

Ok it sounds like you are assisting her to go to sleep so when she gets to 45mins she needs you again to get though the sleep cycle to the next one. Rather than sit in the rocking chair try putting her down in her cot awake will she cry or fuss? Use Shh/Patt first of all if she does get upset at first and make the time you spend doing this shorter and shorter until you don't need to do it anymore. Once you have her sleeping independtly you will hopefully find she will sleep longer for her naps.
As for your DH putting her down does he do anything differnently to you when putting her down?

[Penut's Mom]

Hi there,

well she pushed me to the point the other day where I did put her in her crib wide awake - with her soother but she was bug eyed. I left frustrated and low and behold she was quiet for a while. She fussed a little while later, I went in and told her it was nap time gave her back the soother she has spat out and left again. She was fine again for a while and when she started fussing I left her. She was not crying - only making her noises. She eventually settled on her own and slept for a whole 1.25 hour. I was thrilled.

Then today my husband actually put her down for her nap. He had to go back in only once and she managed to do it all by herself.

I think I was over parenting... like you mentioned I need to get her to sleep on her own.

Yet at bedtime she is still waking at 9 - 9:30. My dh went in and gave her the soother and she has resettled. I will df her at 10:30 tonight instead of 11.

She has also woken the past two nights at 3am  the first night and again at 4 and last night she woke at 4. I was unable to get her back to sleep this morning and ended up having to feed her.

Any thoughts on the cause? I know she is still not getting enough sleep during the day but??

tonight we managed to get her into bed just shortly after 8.

If you have any suggestions I am VERY open.

Oh and I don't know if I should post this elsewhere but I also need to figure out how to phase her off of the final feed. we have been trying to feed her at 6/6:30, then bath and bedtime routine. once swaddled I have been giving her more milk - bf. she does not fall asleep on the breast but it makes me feel like a prop. Any ideas.

Thanks for replying I was getting to wonder if anyone would reply.

T.

[Sharoncattell]

Hi

I am having the same sort of problems with naps, she wont go past 45 mins (she nearly 7 weeks old) I wind down with her then put her in her basket and she immediately starts crying, ssh Pat will calm her but when I stop she starts to cry again, she also jolts alot, but my MW an HV have told me its dangerous to swaddle? So if she does go off it only lasts 30 -45 minutes, w2s doesnt work, she just wakes and is totally wide eyed and crying.  I pick her up and wind her down again, but she still wont go off. 

I need help, I feel like I am permanently holding my baby!  Her night time routine is the same in the eve, she wont go down until 9 and this ends up being in my arms or on my boob.  Then a dream feed  an hours later generally takes her through til 6ish.

Please can anyone advise?

Sharon

[KathrynK]

hi Sharon
Firstly, I never swaddled dd but so many people swear by it that it can't be dangerous if you do it right.
My dd also used to jolt herself awake after 45 mins. Have you tried holding her through the jolts? I would sit by the cot from around 35 mins waiting for her to stir, and then lay my arms gently across her body, holding her arms and legs still. Most of the time this would stop her waking and help her slip into the next sleep phase. If she did wake, nothing on earth would get her back to sleep so for us the key was to stop her waking in the first place. You say W2S doesn't work- can you describe what you have been doing?
If your dd is struggling to get to sleep she may be overtired. Can you post your usual routine so we can try to help further?
kathryn x