9 month old wanting to be fed to sleep? Please help a friend in need of help!!

[**Clare**]

Hi there,

I'm posting for a friend who's desperate for some help.  Her little girl is 9 months and my friend has just started back at work.  Her name is Tracey just to make this easier! Little one is called Freya! Tracey has been so tired lately that when Freya was waking she would nurse her back to sleep, now Freya is waking up during the night and cannot or wont settle unless she is fed.  At the moment Tracy is doing controlled crying with her, I haven't experienced this method so not sure how it works.

The only info I have is that shes bf, she goes to sleep independently but waked during the night wanting to be fed!

I can find out other info if need be!

Id be grateful for your help, Tracy is a fantastic mum and I really feel for her on this one especially as she has a 3 year old little boy and is trying to juggle everything around her kids and job.  Its not easy, I'm sure lots of us have been there!!

Thanks in advance!! I'm hoping to get some good ideas together so I can print this out and pass it on as she has no PC!! xxxxx

[Minx]

Hi Clare
I can totally sympathise with Tracey, I'm going through a nightmare with my dd who is nearly 9 months so can't really offer any advice.  I hope she manages to get it sorted.
xkarenx

[Colin Macs Mom]

Clare, please tell you friend to stop using controlled crying. That is Ferber's technique where you just let LO cry and you go in every 5 minutes or so and reassure and then leave again regardless is LO is calm or not. It does not teach independent sleep and can create trust issues like CIO does. It doesn't solve the reason that LO is waking and crying. CC is not a BW supported technique.

Freya has developed a suck/feed to sleep association, and that's what needs to be fixed. The best thing for her to do would be to PD instead of feeding, or to consider weaning the night feeding. She can offer less minutes at each feed every few days until they're gone since she's BFing if she wants to do it that way.

[momofclaire]

I agree with Jessica.  Please tell your friend waht CC or CIO will only make things worse.  Here is a link to that info
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=63839.0

[**Clare**]

Okay, thank you, I will mention about the CC.  I don't think she'd use the CIO method.

If she's developed a suck/feed to sleep association then how come she goes to sleep at the beginning of the night alone? I guess shes fed before bedtime but then she is put down awake and is able to settle herself to sleep?!

I'm not sure that Freya actually needs the night feeds so would Tracy still have to wean her off them or do you think PD is the answer? And why just pd, not pu/pd? I used pd with my son as he could pull to stand which I'm sure Freya can do so is this why you suggest pd?

I think Tracy could do the PD, would it be better to get her DH to do it if he will? Although I know he works long hours?

Sorry for all the questions, just trying to get lots of answers ready for her!

Thanks everyone xxx

[Colin Macs Mom]

A lot of times babies develop an association for only nws. They know that they go to sleep initially one way, but if they wake at night then they don't have the same association. Does that make sense? It doesn't take long for a LO to get in the habit of waking at a certain point and expecting the prop. Freya obviously can sleep independently so you friend doesn't need to teach that, which is good - she just needs to show Freya that she can put herself back to sleep at night without help.

I said PD because I wasn't sure if Freya was pulling up yet or not. PU/PD or PD, whichever is appropriate is what I should have said. Whether or not she uses that or weans is dependant on the LO - if she really doesn't do well with change it might be better to wean.

[**Clare**]

Thats great, thank you! So if shes pulling then its put down and if not its pick up put down! I want to get this right for her! Ill pass on your messages and I maybe back with other questions! Ill also pass on the book as it has pu/pd in there rather than me try and explain it to them xx

Thanks again and if anyone else has any more to add Im sure she'd be grateful! xx

[momofclaire]

YES if pulling then only pd.  It would be so nice of you to loan her your book. Or you can go to the pu/pd board and print info there.
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=69177.0
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=28650.0
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=3189.0
Here are a few good links.  You could give her this info. Maybe email or print for her.
Hope that helps.