Settling into nursery

[Mayasmum]

Hi there,

Wasn't quite sure where to post this....so here goes.

I'm going back to work mid-march and dd will be starting nursery at the beginning of March. She's my second so really I should be more confident but my stomach lurches every time I think about it and I'm getting into a real panic.

DD1 goes to same nursery but we had such a hard time when she first started, she was around 15 months then. DD2 will be 11 months when she starts. I'm hoping that as her sister is there, it wont be so difficult.

I think the reason I'm so worried is that we have been having major separation anxiety issues over the last few months. We were in India over Xmas and New Year and all she wanted to do was be joined to my hip the whole time and she wouldn't even go to her Dad (she was up until then a very independent baby). Since our return, things have improved somewhat - I can now leave the room without her making herself sick crying and she can play on her own for long periods of time.

Her routine is pretty solid and she eats and sleeps pretty well at home (unless ill).

I know that eventually she will settle but why am I so anxious? I just feel as if I haven't prepared her for the big bad world.

I would appreciate any tips/advice/suggestions/anything (reassurance)!!!

Thanks for reading.

[AnnaBenwell]

Hugs! I think maybe you should visit and stay with your daughter, Just to put your mind at rest! I worked in a nursery! If your not confident leaving your daughter thier Then she will pick up on that. Its always going to be hard leaving her, Don't be so hard on yourself! Take Care

[KathrynK]

hi Teri
My dd started nursery (only 1 day per week) about 4-5 weeks ago so I know how awful it can feel to leave them!
Our nursery has a "phasing in" week which worked something like this:
Day 1 go for 1 hour & I stayed with dd while she played
Day 2 go for 2 hours- dd had a nap there and I left for 1 hour
Day 3 go for 3 hours - dd had lunch there and I left for the whole time.

Does your nursery offer something like this? I found it really helpful.

Don't be surprised if the SA comes back with a vengeance after she starts nursery- soon after starting nursery dd got ill for the first time ever and so for the last 3 weeks has had awful SA, which is understandable as lots has happened in her little world to unsettle her. Having said that, the nursery staff say on the day she is there she is mostly fine, she eats well, naps well and only cries a bit when she is tired, usually towards the end of the day. She did cry a bit when dh dropped her off last week but only for a minute or so- he "hovered" outside the door to that room and could hear that she was fine again very quickly.
I think it's normal for something like this to unsettle them- I am dealing with it by giving her as much attention as I can the other days of the week. If you have been through SA once then I am sure you & dd will both do just fine xx

[Mayasmum]

Hi both,

Thank you for your replies.

Yes, the nursery does have a settling in phase and the good thing is I work from home and have told my boss that I wont be able to go out and see clients until the beginning of April. So, she will have roughly 3 wks to settle in before I have to be out and about. Hopefully this will give her enough time to adjust.

I will let you know how it goes but thank you again for your support and advice.