Help!!! 4 1/2 mo. old won't sleep any more!

[mdtaylor]

My daughter used to sleep so well, and for the last month we've had all kinds of trouble!  I posted a few weeks ago that she started waking frequently at night, and we have since moved her (mostly) to a 4 hour EASY and things improved for a week or so, and now not only is she night waking, but naps and bedtime are a nightmare! 

She used to go to sleep easily, fussing for a couple of minutes but then calming down and I could leave the room and she'd go to sleep.  This was for naps or bedtime.  Now, she starts to cry as soon as I start her sleep time routine and will cry off and on for maybe half an hour, sometimes going to sleep and sometimes getting so worked up she can't breathe.  Sometimes I give up having nap time and feed her if she gets too worked up, but I try to not nurse her to sleep.  If I leave the room before she's sound asleep she'll start to cry again.  And if she wakes up after I leave she'll freak out!  She used to settle herself back to sleep so well, I don't know what's going on!

As for a typical routine, we almost don't even have one anymore because she won't sleep.  I try to do the 4 hour EASY, and for the most part the E is every 4 hours (BF), and A usually lasts about 2 hours until she starts to look tired so I usually try to start her wind down at the first sign of her being tired, but she may take quite a while to get to sleep.  She then will nap anywhere from 20-90 minutes, but usually 40-60.  Sometimes she'll still wake up happy, but more often she wakes up to a full cry, which she never used to do.

At night she sometimes will only wake up twice to eat between the DF at 11 and 7 or 7:30 when we get up for the day, but some nights she wakes up every hour! I don't feed her unless it's been more than 3 hours, or if she just gets more and more upset as I try to put her back to sleep.

I'm getting to my wits end!  She used to be an angel baby, and now she flips between angel and fussy at a moments notice!  I'm getting so tired from being up so much at night, and so frustrated that we don't have any time while she naps to get anything done!

The other part of this is that I've been back to work part time since the beginning of January, and she goes to my SIL's for 2 mornings and 1 afternoon a week.  I try to tell her how to follow the routine we've set up, but my baby won't have it!  She wouldn't go to sleep for her this week at all unless she finally rocked her to sleep, and she only has been eating about 2 oz of EBM while I'm gone, where she used to take 3-4 oz with no problem.  I don't know if this could be causing some of our troubles or is a symptom of the problem.
As for other things that could be contributing, she had her 4 month shots 1 week ago, and has had a bit of a cold (stuffy nose). 

I sure hope you have some suggestions for me! I just don't know what to do!
TIA,
Monica

[VeroniqueD]

hey monica

When my lo had her 4 months vaccinations, it felt like we were never going to get back on track. Could you be misreading her tired cues, maybe she is overtied? Did you gradually move her to the 4 hour routine, how long has she been on the routine? I had to move my lo to 3 1/2 hour routine first because she could not handle being up the full two hours. Have you used sshh/pat? Did you show you SIL how to do it so both of you are coordinated and don't confuse lo about how she should fall asleep. She might have developed "motion prop" with the rocking your SIL is doing. Maybe you need to adjust your schedule.....

Veronica

[mdtaylor]

Thanks for the reply Veronica.  I think she is very likely overtired, but as for reading her cues, she goes from happily playing to fussy in a heartbeat, so I try to time her wind down to when I expect her to get tired and not wait for her to be fussy when I'm home with her.  If I'm too early, though, she just plays and talks and won't settle either.
I did move gradually to the 4 hour routine, and she adapted quite easily to it for the first week.  Then she had her shots...
We have been doing the shh/pat for 3 months now.  When do you switch to pu/pd?  I wasn't clear on that from the book or the interview I read.
As for my SIL, I think she knows how I do it, but she has kids already and knows what worked for them, and as she's helping me out I feel bad being too bossy about how I want things done since it would mean that she would be spending half the morning trying to calm her down for sleep. 

Today she did have 3 naps of 45-50 minutes each, she ate a lot better, and bedtime went well, so I'm hopeful for tonight.  We'll see how it goes.

[nursekat]

Hi mdtaylor!
I second the idea that she might be overtired just reading what she is doing, but your routine does look nice.  My dd often has a bit of regression after switching to a new routine, though, anywhere from 5 days to 2 weeks.  This is very common and could (hopefully) be all it is.  If you are suspecting overtiredness, I would put her down early for naps and bedtime for a couple of days and let her catch up and then try pushing the A times again.

As far as your SILs goes, I've found that if my dd is on a routine solidly at home, she usually follows it well at other's houses, but not perfectly.  She follows it enough, however, that it doesn't cause a huge bump in her routine.  If that makes sense.

Give it a go and let us know how you do!  HTH!