Have I created a MONSTER?

[cam621]

My dd is 20 months old.  This eating thing is making me crazy!  There are few things that she absolutely WILL eat and she is now starting to ask for them.  Unfortunately, I haven't been too diligent on offering "new" stuff since she NEVER EVER even tries it. Just pushes it aside. I get frustrated and end up feeding her what she likes anyway.  Should I just keep giving her quesadillas, for example because she asks for them?  Or should I try something completely new and put SOMETHING that I know she will eat along side with it even though she is asking for something in particular?  Not sure how to go about giving her "the something that she likes" part--should I make a MEAL she likes, or just give her bread, fruit or whatever as a side so I don't have to make 2 meals a night? 

Thanks in advance for ANY help!
Jackie

[dkjokisch]

Kids generally have to be exposed to a new food 20-30 times before they start to eat it of their own accord.  Broccoli is a prime example for dd.  6 months ago, she wouldn't touch it.  Now she asks for it raw for a snack.

I would keep offering new foods, and just make sure there's always one thing you know she'll eat.  I usually make whatever dd asks for (within reason and usually guided by my suggestions) for breakfast and lunch.  At dinner I make one meal for the three of us, making sure that there's at least one thing she likes (though that doesn't guarantee she'll eat it on that given day).  She gets a reasonable portion of everything served.  We don't pressure her to try completely new foods, but after she has been exposed to something several times, we are not above bribing her to take a bite by withholding second helpings of her favorites (always the carbs).  If she eats a good, well-balanced meal, we may offer dessert (fruit, applesauce, jello cup, yogurt, etc), but we don't use that as a bargaining chip to get her to eat other things.

[cam621]

Thanks for your response.  I guess I am still unclear about the "something I know she likes" part.  Should it just be, let's say, cheese or bread, or should it be a full meal (for example, quesadillas, as I know she will eat)? 

Thanks again! 

[kim&savannah]

I would just base it off of what the meal is--I try to fix things more often that I know dd will eat (although that's gotten hard since she changes what is acceptable on a daily basis now.)  But if I'm serving a meal that she pretty much won't eat I might make something similar for her (like pasta with plain marinara on it instead of whatever pasta dish we're eating).  She won't eat meat so she eats bean tacos on taco night, the beans and veges from soups and stews, plain cheese pizza, etc. . .

Mostly, she just eats whatever parts of the meal she likes, and we continue to give her a little of everything--she doesn't normally eat any meat, but every now and then she'll surprise us and take a bite of chicken or fish.

If you are worried about her getting a balanced meal (which I am--I read in another post about possible connection between not enough protein and emotional night wakings, so we're working on getting protein with dinner), I would try to include some sort of source of things that she will eat--I put cheese and avocado on the table as a topping for whatever we're having (soup, salad, etc. . .)  a lot which means that she's still eating what we are but doesn't have to eat the main dish to get some protein and fat.  And she'll almost always eat the carbs

Good luck--its a difficult age, I think.  But I've heard that if you keep offering and don't make a big deal out of it, eventually they'll eat pretty good meals

~Kim

[tylersmommy]

I try to include something in our meals that I know Tyler will eat, but if that isn't possible or backfires, I'll let him eat what he wants (like fruit or cereal) as long as it's healthy. I don't like making him separate meals and haven't in ages. If he doesn't want what we're having, then it's something easy that I don't have to "make." I didn't get really strict on him eating the same meals as us until he got a little older.

I became the queen of hiding stuff in foods he likes...if veggies are a problem, you could spread some mashed or pureed veggies in her quesadilla or sandwich. We do offer him new things and he's gotten better about trying them as he's gotten older. We don't turn it into a battle, though...not worth it!

[taygensmom]

I also agree that consistently "short-order cooking" for your LO will end up limited her diet significantly and making life alot harder for you. I work with many picky eaters, and really the best thing you can do is just cntinue to expose her to new foods. The above post was correct hat it takes many many exposures to a new food before many children will try it. If you resort to cooking only wahat your LO likes, you run the risk of encouraging very picky eating. Instead, I would just offer whatever you are eating, with a little bit of something that you know she has accepted previously or likes (not a whole meal). If you give her a huge serving of what she really likes, where is her motivation to try anything new? Try it for a few weeks and see how it goes. During mealtimes it also helps not to let things evolve into a "control battle" over food. If she does not want to try the new food, accept that, but don't offer her more of her favorite just because she didn't want the other foods or because she is demanding it. Most typical toddlers will learn fast that if these are their options as far as food, they will eat. It also helps to make sure that meals/snacks are spread out sufficiently that you LO is hungry for meals (i.e. not snacking on foods/milk throughout the day). Tracey in her book recommended if you have a poor eater even omitting snacks for a few days until intake and acceptance improves, and this can be helpful to do short-term until you see an improvement. Good luck!

[cam621]

Thanks for all of your replies.  So, I am in the PROCESS of creating a monster   Generally I don't want her to go to bed hungry so I just give her what she likes, but essentiallly you are saying that there will be some hungry nights until she learns that she is only getting what I prepare for the family.  Is that correct? 

Thanks again.  You all have been very helpful!!

[Carys' mom]

Hi - just lurking . I have the same problem with my dd.

[dkjokisch]

Yup.  I find that the nights dd doesn't eat much for dinner, she makes up for it at breakfast the next morning.  And I agree with making just one element of the meal something you know she'll eat.  But that still doesn't guarantee anything.  For example, tonight we had, fish, rice, and steamed broccoli/cauliflower mix (mixed veggies are an easy way to offer multiple vegetable choices without making multiple vegetable sides).  I know she eats rice and broccoli.  And of course, tonight, she scarfed down the cauliflower and fish and ate a few token bites of the rice and broccoli.  Last night I made pasta mixed with peas, bacon, ricotta, and parmesan.  I was pretty sure she'd pick out the peas and bacon (she did), but I know she likes pasta and cheese, and she did eat that.