question to parents of older children

[suzie767]

hi all, i have an 11 week old ds and he is my first child. he is a good baby but i have to admit that having a baby is no piece of cake.

im interested to know how things change as your child gets older. does it get easier, does it get harder. at what point does it all start to feel normal/routine? when does sleep depravation stop being an issue?

 i am interested in hearing all you comments, ideas, suggestions, experiences

thanks in advance

 

[ks6]

For me it got easier at 5 1/2 months when ds started sleeping 12 hours straight.  Sleep deprevation can make everything look hard.

Normal/routine?  As soon as you get used to something, good or bad, it changes.  At least during the first year.  I just keep remembering that ds will not be going to kindergarten carrying a blanket, throwing toddler tantrums, crying for food, drinking from a sippy cup, learning to use a spoon, etc.    We have been in a fairly predictable routine on 1 nap since his first birthday.

Honestly though, things are just beginning to feel normal now.  (But then, I am not a person who likes change.)  Some events that made things hugely easier for me were walking, learning some words, and the passing of major separation anxiety. 

HTH! 

[Messa]

It does get easier I promise you!!  I had a really hard time in the beginng as well, and the sleep depravation WOW it made me a completely different person.  I think it started getting a lot easier and more routine oriented when DD was about 4 months old and started sleeping through the night. Just keep up with setting your routines and it will all click!! Good luck.  HTH

[mum101]

When I look back, it definitely gets easier!

The challenges change, and you overcome them. 

There was a stage where Rory would get upset if I left the room, then she wouldn't let me shower without trying to get me out of there!

Now I can disappear into the bathroom for 1/2 hour without a single interruption! 

But on the other side we are now dealing with tantrums about not getting what we want - which is quite new to us as she is usually quite easy going. 

Early on, sleep disruption makes things harder, so make sure you get sleep when your little one sleeps during the day.  Now is the time to tkae things slow and rest when you need. 

[hoosiermama]

I think it got a ton easier.  My ds is 3 going on 4 in March and is very independant.  He still naps (once in a while) can play on his own and can even get himself somthing to eat for breakfast (cereal bar etc) and use the potty all by himself.  He is a good sleeper but likes to get up early.  Of course now I have a 4 1/2 month old and so things are all out of hand, but my first son is very helpful.  Hang in there.  This too shall pass!  Our challenges now are mostly behavioral! (Which are no fun either, but at least he can talk and tell us what the problem is.)

[suzie767]

thank you so much for your comments!! it is really helpful to hear the points of view of people who have survived to tell the tale. it has given me ( and hopeflly some others) some hope!!!


 

[Lilah'sMommy]

Things really started to fall into place sleepwise for us around 3-4 months... then things went haywire at around 9 months, when I finally got to see the repercussions of feeding to sleep!  We used PU/PD and it worked like a charm and we were back on track!  She's been sleeping 11-12 hours at night, with rare and easy-to-settle night wakings ever since.  Then there was the hairy period when Lilah went from 2 naps to 1, but once that transition was complete, we were on autopilot for a good year.  Only now are we having bedtime refusal issues, but that is really more behavioral I suspect, and something I know we'll get past.

It's hard to say whether things are truly "easier"-- the sleep stuff is much easier, and not having to change diapers is great.  But dealing with tantrums and other behavior gets more and more complex as time goes on... but getting to watch your LO grow into a little person is just so amazing, it's definitely worth all the bumps in the road.

[andibig]

i would say it definetely gets easier as they get older.the first 3 months were a living hell!!!
as shes got older its easier to read her signs and she can do more things for her self.

[Shdef]

For us it was easiest when he was a very newborn because shortly after each feed he would go back to sleep. he was on a 4 hour routine (implemented by the SCBU) and slept 18 hours a day. Every six hours he was awake for one and then three hours sleep.
That mean we could sleep any time. At three months he started to stay awake more during the day, at five months he only had three shortish naps. But slept all night, so that was good
In my opinion... it's sometimes easy, sometimes really hard. The older they get the harder certain things get but the easier others get.
Toddlers are much more knackering than babies (unless you have a baby who screams  lot I think) but also more rewarding
It doesn't get really easy, it never will

[suzie767]

thanks again guys!! i guess the hardest thing for new parents to learn is just to go with the flow.

once this is cracked eveything else should work itself out (hopefully)

[lilmonkey]

Ditto what Scott's_maw say.  Every age/ phase has it challenges but it will pass.  As they get older the challenges tend to be more behaviour but hey... you can always come her for support or hug or laugh.  Some of us were very tempted to put our lo on ebay in the past!   

[AnnaBenwell]

Yea i have said about ebay 2. The only thing is they would send my 3 back and ask for a refund!LOL. I have 3 boys and must say When i just had the 2 and they were both at school Life was so much nicer than it is now. Hats of to everyone with 3 or more. Anna

[suzie767]

yeah i dont know how you cope, just one is hard enough. my mum was a single mother to 2 boys and twin girls- i didnt see it before but now i think she is a superstar!

[AnnaBenwell]

Don't think i women really ever Respects her mum untill she has kids! Your mum sure is a star(bless it must of been such hard work) But well worth it. My 3 boys are great. (i don't know how i cope some days) But to be honest its just as hard work with 1. You still have all the same feelings. Sure your doing a great Job and it won't be long before your little 1 says (I LOVE YOU MUM) It melts your heart and makes all the hard work So worth while. Anna

[suzie767]

i bet, i will keep that in mind and it will see me through all the bad stuff. the thought of it almost makes me cry!!

thanks again