My SUCCESS story with those PESKY 5am Toddler wakes. Update 1st post 4-19-07

[¤ Efka ¤]

Thanks Rina for explaining more.

I dont think I can turn the bed sideways as then his bed is right next to our bed with no space between. Have to think about as where I could get screen, I like this idea though. Because he definetaly knows where we are And I have seen that sometimes when I lye really still in bed without moving he is calmer, like he knows I am sleeping and cant get him Though it wont work with DH is bed as he always moves then.

This morning he woke at 5.15, first I just was lieng very still in my bed( DH worked night sift)and he just sit in his bed and called out, not really sadly or anything. SO I left him, the thing is, when he wakes he sits up right away and sits and sobs there, so not knowing exactly what to do, I then  lied him back down and went back to my bed. He went mad and was back again, this time standing, I repeated, he got more madder and was back standing again.But when he was standing he was not screaming anymore but crying out. So at this point I started our day with feeding.And it was 5.30 DO you think I should have waited more?
Ohh and he got his teeth out last night. Thankfully.

[Gippie]

Could you hang a sheet for seperation and how about some white noise to buffer the sounds of you moving?   As far as the 5:15 wake - it is so classis....it is SO this age group and the best we can do is give them stuff to HELP them resettle and if they don't sleep - at least they have a quiet "down time".   How about for the next week when he gets up at 5ish you say someting to him like. "lie down Keir".......name the lovies he has....."you have your ____________ and your ______________, go night night (whatever word you use)" and connect the words with the action of YOU lying him down and repeat that phrase each time he makes noise from 5:15-6.  For us the action of laying DD down was not going to cut it.   The phrase helped and so did digging in our heels and saying no wakes before 6. Now lets say that each day you push back the time you "leave" him just 5-10 minutes?   The hadest part is staying there - cause we don't sleep - we listen to them....so why not just get up?   I think the answer is because it can get better.   Try the sheet and the words to let him know it's still night time....did I mention a fan or some white noise?   

Rina - Last night, we passed by 5am and now we have 5:45 - Miracle, Miracle.  Dont make me jealous and tell me what time Zara slept till........

Stacey

[¤ Efka ¤]

Thanks.
I will definetaly try to hold off time I get him out.
Cant do sheet thing at this moment as we just moved and we are at the very beginning with our home so we have nothing extra yet.
About white noise. I have some noise on. Static from radio, it louder in the evenings when we are still up, so we wont bother him and turned down at night. My DH found it very annoying

I kind of like that tomorrow is Monday, keeps me on track and at the end of week I can maybe see some pattern

[rinajack]

There is no making you jealous here today.  Major regression.

She woke crying in the night, I don't know what time, then she self settled.  Then again at 3, self settled. Then again sometime, self settled.  Then again at 5, didnt' self settle, so I went in, she calmed, when i tried to leave she started crying  - HARD. I ended up taking her to bed, giving her some panadol until she was lovely and calm, and putting her back in her cot.  That lasted 1/2 hr, then I gave up, got her up, fed her, and we will have to have two naps today.

Overtired, or teeth?  I know the teeth are moving, her top eye teeth are now only about 1-2ml above the gumline, I can feel them from the front of the gum, they are slowly moving down...

Sigh.  Tomorrow will be better I am sure.

[aisling]

(((HUGS))) Rina.

Efka (((HUGS))) to you too.  I hope I can help you out as well very soon.

Aisling x

[momofclaire]

I know I am jumping in girls but I fear I might be headed towards the early wakes 

Stacey- You know part of my story but I am going to give it again so it's here and so others can take a look.

I have had a wonderful sleeper from about 5 weeks.  She took to easy well.  I would say she is a little angel, mostly textbook and a little spirited.  She is almost 15 months. 
Our sch has been like this since just before christmas. 
7:30-8:00 wake
12:30 nap 2-3 hours
7:30 bottle and bed

She used to fall asleep to the bottle but hasn't in a few months.  So she takes the bottle in the living room, she's drowsy but awake and then we say goodnight I lay her down and she goes to sleep. Occasionally I have to hold my hand on her back for 30 seconds while she settles.
Two days ago she woke at 5:50?  DH tried to calm her pat/shh still works well for us.  He picked her up because she was hysterical (his words) but put her back down when she calmed.  He did this for 30 min and then gave up, bringing her to the living room to sleep on his chest for 30 min  until she decided she was up for the day.  Her nap that day was normal and instead of getting her to bed early to compensate  I put her to bed at the normal time.

Well last night we decided no more bottle.  She took to the new routine fairly well, went to sleep basically without problem.  This morning up at 6:19.  I tried for over an hour to settle her. She seemed in pain ( I think molars ) I gave meds but kept trying to get her back to sleep.  This went on for quite some time. I didn't do any AP just shhh/pat mixed with a little pd. Only picked up when gave meds and when the crying was really desperate.  So at normal wake time I brought her to the kitchen and we started the day.  The day has been horrible she slept for a 39 min nap and then up screaming.  1 hour of pd and DH said "that's enough!"  Then she took a cat nap at 4:00 that lasted almost an hour.  So tonight we are trying to continue with the bottle wean and put to bed early to compensate for the lack of sleep. It's not going well.

Actually, I am not sure this even goes here except for the fact that I am wondering what NOT to do about the early wakes.  I don't want them to become a way of life over here.      I guess I am totally thrown because in theory nothing has changed and I believe her sch and eating and health to be fine.  The only thing is the teething, it is clear she is in pain.

[Gippie]

Miya - Welcome to the club.     I firmly believe that the early wakes in this age group are developmental - too many of us have them to be anything else.    I think that the kids are waking in the wee hours, seems to be about an hour before normal wake (our wakes are 5am - normal time 6).   They just seem to not be able to get back to sleep to finish that hour off.  In the beginning of the whole early wake thing, Quinn was inconsolable.  THATS why I started feeding her and of course that "worked" and she went b2s.   I guess this pattern was what I got used to....until that Tuesday when I decided to stop feeding her and started letting her sort it out - it was SUCH a process as you can read...I dont even know if it all makes sense the way I wrote it.   

It is SO easy to say teething, illness and whatever....which is EXACTLY what I said in the start..."I had a good sleeper, she had just gotten over an illness...." and in that, I fed her to get past what I thought was "an odd wake" when in reality it was something she was doing as a result of (what I believe is development) and I hadn't given her the sleep tools to deal with.

I tell ya, I could claim teething as well.   Quinn was done with 16 teeth at 12 months and is droolling, not eating and yada yada, I am sure the 2nd molars are right there.....she has a little cold and got her shots on Thursday....I have a lot of "excuses" - but none count here.   When she wakes all I say is.  She woke at 5am.   

Tuesday will be 2 weeks of success when/if she wakes at 5am.  I have been letting her talk, mantra and fuss and many times, fall back to sleep.  At 6am I go in and welcome the morning with a dog and pony show.   It IS so hard to hear her and not go in.  Each morning when I hear her I have to re-tell myself that she is OK.  Each morning I wonder if THAT cry is different, maybe this and maybe that.     In the past 4 days, Quinn has slept through her 5am (pesky) wake and gotten up at her good old time of 6am!    I am trying to see if there is a pattern to what yeilds the no 5am wakes......I am journaling again to see what I see.    Fri and Sat, she went to bed a little later and passed the 5am wake....coincidence.....no idea?    I am writing it down and looking at it.

The bottom line is she is not crying in her room....at the start she would, now it is a 100% different thing.  I believe she knows she needs to finish sleep and there are no mixed messages about what is OK.     

I guess the question is.....what next.  If I were you and you are seeing this pattern start while you ean the bottle - I (OPINION ALERT) go back to EXACTLY what you were doing with the bottle that gave no wakes and see if the wakes dissappear and then you know what is causing them....and you can wean with confidence.  If you go back to the bottle and she is still waking, I personally would NOT wean the bottle right now.......fix the smaller problems first.    Thats of course just me.   I am NOT weaning ANYTHING right now.......we are in a good spot and I am not messing with success.

Let me know what you decide to do. Since you have cuddled her and that works, keep that for a few days and do a gradual wean of that as you teach her to be OK though that wake.    Say something to her as you cuddle her and then say that as you lay her down again.  Gradually withdraw the cuddle and keep the reassurance  - make it a new phrase you have never said before....it's her AM wake phrase.    Then as you shorten the cuddle time, you can eliminate it and say her wake phrase....and then hopefully not have to say it at all.

I could be all wet - but as I say - it worked for us.    As I mentioned my SIL said if she were me and knew her LO ahd a cold and had shots, she would 100% be feeding her for those wakes......so I think some people love feeling needed and whatever helpless thing we can call it........yikes.    I am all for the independant kid.

Post back

[Gippie]

Rina - tomorrow is another day.   I am sure we will have some bad nights too.  IN fact, Quinn was a fussy one at bedtime, I cuddled her a few extra minutes and said her same comments and left.   She is asleep.    Odd off nights can be so frustrating.   Dont kill yourself trying to find a reason for it.   Post back, I bet you will have a better night and day!

Hugs to all the 5am mommies!

Stacey

[momofclaire]

See the thing is she had her first "early wake" yesterday morning.  The bottle weaning did not start till last night so she had one early wake that I know had nothing to do with the bottle.  It wasn't hard to get her to sleep last night so tonight we again did not give the bottle but instead milk in a sippy during some reading/cuddle time.  It took 45 min to get her to sleep.  We used pd but after the pd I kept my hand on her and said "night night."  Then left and went back in over and over. 

So DH is ed because he doesn't understand why I started the bottle wean after and early wake but I thought it was random and since it went fine last night I say stick with it.  On top of that naps were crap today so now I have overtired, which I am sure will lead to an early wake    I don't want to give the bottle back. I guess because since one early wake was before the bottle wean I think they aren't related.  Is that not good thinking?

[¤ Efka ¤]

We had 5 am wakeup today. I did PD for 30 minutes, then sadly  gave up and took him in bed with me, while we feed and slept until 7. What am I thinking as I cant get sheet for tis evening too, if he wakes let him be there until he really cries and then do constant PD until 6. And the start the day with pony show as Stacey said.What do you think?

[rinajack]

Sounds good Efka, just keep saying the same thing to him each time, so soon he understands it is sleep time.. Hope you can get a sheet soon!

[¤ Efka ¤]

Other thing I am wondering about does your LOs ever lie back on their own?Keir never does that even in the evening I have to lie him down and then he goes to sleep, but if some reason he has been come to sit then he is all sad sitting there and calling me and goes to sleep second I lie him but wont himself.

[rinajack]

Zara did go through that also, but eventually she got the idea.  Be consistant, he will get it eventually.

[Gippie]

Will post back later!

[yaya]

Can I butt in? we had early wakings for a few weeks which then sorted themselves out but last 3 mornings have had early wakings again. Never at the same time. We also have 1 nightwake which we didnt have and tbh I think DS is teething. Do u suggest not doing anything?? or going with wi/wo
this am he woke 6.20 i left him till 7 as he wasnt crying and he didnt go back to sleep. Any thoughts?