to begin badly and to finish in chaos!! wrong EASY...HELP!!

[Deni]

Hi! I´m Deni mom of a almost 6 month old girl. We start with the left foot and it becomes from bad to chaos...
ANTECEDENTS:
It start when I realize We need a routine (structure): we had a Pediatrician that told us to feed whenever she wants and to feed her with bottle after the breast...
The problem was that in the first weeks I didn't know when she was hungry or sleep or what! So every times she cry I try first breast... Then try to sleep... Well was very hard,.. Because I didn't know how to sleep her. I felt insecure about milk because she cryed when she ate... Sometimes she take just one and she didn't whant the other breast... The doc said "thus they are the babies"
Well in the way I found that she calms down by sucking. I tryed pacifiers but she removed them from her mouth!
So she wanted mom´s breast. We slept her by calming her and wait till she was sleep to put her in the bed. But I realize that that was wrong so I try to find another way.
I finally give her my breast to calm down and then go to bed. Seemed to work... I "feed" her the she calm down, the she go to bed. 

PROBLEM
We don't have a daily routine... She doesn't have "alimentation time" (sometimes each 2 hours, sometimes 1.5!!, sometimes 3 hours), more less she sleeps naps at the same hour but until now She didn't have a specific bedtime...
I wait to the second and third month to get a routine, because I was tell that babies can make a routine by themselves... Of course I would never happened...
I tryed to put her into a routine, starting with feeding but it was imposible because of the "sleep feeding"!

ACTIONS
I start to change bedtime habbits(first I try "ferber" method") but I (happly) stopped it because she became ill. (dont be panic, she didn't became ill because of that) Then I restart as soon as she was ok.
Asking in my "baby and moms forum" the girls suggest the Tracy method. I found the PUPD method so I apply but It was horrible!! (it feels just like Estivil method, by leaving babies to cry till sleep exhausted) I stopped (now I realize that the text was wrong...Bad translation and in addition it was incompleted!
I was desesperated! So I try with a pacifier, it (more-less) works. I didn't want to turn back.

MORE WRONGS...
Then I finally gets the book (I thouht). "Secrets of the Baby W... How to calm, Connect and Comunicate with your baby..." (the book store had other: for toddlers) So I thougth it was the correct one.
I try to implement EASY 1 week...2 weeks... Nothing works! And also try an "strategy" to sleep my baby.
Sometimes it works, sometimes she ends "playing" and at the end she became sleep, but simetimes se cryes and I put a pacifier!...

[Deni]

Sorry, second part...

When I say things turns ugly... Means, she wake up at night Crying! she used to woke up only once, but now again 2 or 3...she cryies when she go to sleep (in the moment I put in the bed)...
I was so desesperate... But I keep trying,
I search in internet and I finally find the site but I had (still have) a lot of questions...
I read few stuffs and I realize that the EASY I tryed was wrong for my baby...Of course now I just chaotic!
I don't know how to continue... I loved to read the correct book in order to help us, and do thing correctly, but I din't find it in my country, at leasr in Cancun where I live.

So until I find the book I need help please! What to do in the midtime?

now...I Know that my baby needs 4 hours time ruotine. We start today an she seem to be just fine. But naps are baddly!
What to do with them???

[Deni]

SORRY...
Mybe I write too much but sometimes Is necessary.
Does anyone have any suggestion?
I need to know what to do. I try to get the right book but I can't find in my country.
I already put my baby into the right EASY (well with the info I have), I read the post about it but It has many references from the book I really want to know.
I want to try another strategy for my baby sleep time (I don't want to apply PUPD) She stays in bed playing but she stars to cry eventually... I use the Paci but I dont' know if it is bad or I'm doing ok...

[Deni]

Feels like nobody can help... Or nobody cares... feel sad...

[Aly Mac]

Deni - don't feel sad.  Being a mother is hard work and finding the methods that work for you and your baby are no easy task (no pun intended). 

I'm not sure where to start, as you have so many questions.  Maybe the EASY forum moderator can help you. If the translation of your version is not correct and if you read English well maybe you should try purchasing the english verson over the internet - maybe on Amazon.com. That may be easier. The book helps you start the EASY process if you little one is older like yours is.  It is hard to start a 5month old on a perfect schedule first up.

take care and just think in terms of Eat, Activity, Sleep.  It's the routine of it that's important not so much the time in between to start with. 

hope this helps

[Deni]

thanks Aly!
I start a 3.5 routine, Seems to fit her needs ... About naps i use the pacy until she falls sleep, then I remove it.
 she still sleeps only 30 mins each nap... I try to extend them but sometimes just dont work..
  I don't have credit card to buy at inernet...

[Aly Mac]

Deni - how are you trying to extend the nap?  I find if I want Lilly to sleep longer, I go in (try not to look her in the eye!) put the paci back in and do shsh/pat (where you go ssssshhhhhhh while patting her rythmically).  Lilly also like her tummy rubbed instead of pat but whatever works.  Then I find you can normally extend it. If she is very alert though, it really doesn't work.  How dark is her room?That helps too. Can't see why 3.5 hr routine wouldn't work.  Here is mine below

7.30 E
8.00 A (always less A time first thing for some reason)
8.30/9.00 S
10.00 A
11.00 E
11.30 A
12.00 S (try to have one long sleep per day)
1.30 A
2.30 E
3.00 S
3.45/4.00 A
4.30 E
5.00 A
5.30 Bath
6.00 E
6.30/7 A(quiet) >>>> Sleep (sometimes with a top up feed prior to sleep


As you can see I don't follow EASY at the moment - more a EASAE as Lilly won't stay up past 1.5hours but is not hungry until 3.5 - it works for me and other ladies it works for too. 

Something else - have your looked for the birth club she was born in?  (under easy forum, birth clubs + spirited/touchy baby support group.  What month/year she was born and pop in - the mums there may be more help as my lo is younger than yours.

hope all this helps you even just a little bit   

[¤ Efka ¤]

I am little confused here.

Do you have the book or no? And if you do why are you so sure everything is wrong? Also about PUPD, this is usually used as last thing when nothing else worked, me for one for my baby started to use it only after 6 months.

Also I really think 3.5 hour A time for your baby is too long. Mine is almost 11 months and only now handles it.I would suggest cut back first her A time to 2.5 hours.

[¤ Efka ¤]

Also would you put general day what you have going on there. Like about when she sleep and eat and plays.

I know my baby never had really good plan but only general idea, so would you try to show yours?

[Deni]

Thanks a lot girls! I really appreciate your posts...

First of all _I apologize English is not my first language...

About the book... I bought in spanish The first one..."How to connect, calm..."  It has a 2.5 to 3 hours routine,  For a little baby of course. I don't have the book "How to solve your problems..." (Thats the one I want to buy)
I started a 3.5 routine seems to fit her needs.

5:40 or 6:40 wakes up
7:00 E 8-10 mins altogether(she eats so quicky or maybe not to much)
7:15 A
8:30 S 30 mins I try more...
9 or 10 depends on her nap ...activity
10:30 E
10:15 A
12:30 S this one is easier to extend
2:00 E Breast and little food (started with solids)
3:00 A We go for a walk
4:00 s but... It happen a weird stuff: I want to go for a walk later, 'cause it start spring and it's tooo hot. And We do another activities...
If I didn't go outside home, she didn't want to go to sleep...Now, she starts to sleep in the way back home...
She usually slept 1.5 to 2 hours in the afternoon. But these days not.
5:30 E
5:45 A I want to put the stroll in here.
7.30 Bath I try this but didnt' work
8.00 E
8:10 S
I'm moving

7:00 Bath
730 E/S
The first days she wakes up more-less each 2 hours... 9 then 11 pm... And she wakes earlier...

I need to fix the afternoon nap!

[Deni]

Oh To enlarge her naps, just today start to use the paci too.
I used to pick up and shsh/pat and worked, but since I use the paci for sleep, it didn't work anymore! She looks for the paci.
I was little distrustful about it, but i hope at the end she doesn't wakes at all...
About to put her into 4 hours I'm not sure, because she eats to quickly... 6 mins and 4 maximum!
If I wait until 4 hours she is very hungry!

[¤ Efka ¤]

First of all english is not my first language too, so I understand you firsthand.

First of all I think you got little wrong. I dont have book you have but generally  2.5 and 3 hour routines show how far are eatings not awake times.Like she is ready to eat now every 4 hours but cannot be awake probably no more than 2 or 2.5 hours. I think your LO is awake too long. I would first try to cut back his awake times. 2.5 hours at the most.
And as she wakes so early I would think her bedtime is too late. I would put bath time at 6. Eat at 6.30 and bed by 7 at the latest.

Also there is a great link for sample routines

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=10385.0

HTH

[¤ Efka ¤]

Read your other post.So you have waited 4 hours before giving her a feed? How long did she eat then?
Also I think there is nothing bad when she is on 3.5 h EASY. And you can then gradually move her to 4 H EASY.

[¤ Efka ¤]

SO I went to my book and found sample 4 H EASY, I will post it for you.

E 7 wakeup and eat
A
S 9
E 11
A
S 1pm
E 3pm
A
S between 5 or 6
E 7pm
A
S7.30

So if you  LO wakes earlier you could move times earlier. Hope this helps.

[Deni]

I'm agree she's awake alot! That's why I'm trying to enlarge naps. She needs to have a good nap in the afternoon. But  I can't catch her sleep hour very well... Sometimes she looks tired since 3pm sometimes 4 or later
Maybe it depends on how much does she slept during day I tryed to sleep her at 4:00 then my idea is that she sleeps 1.5 hours to the nexts feed.
I gonna try to sleep earlier...But (One question) then her next Eat time is at 8PM do I feed her sleep and then again at 10:30 for the last one?