Author Topic: Is it ever going to end??  (Read 1100 times)

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Offline Lilasmom

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Is it ever going to end??
« on: March 01, 2007, 19:05:18 pm »
DD is 15.5 months old and we're still having sleep issues!!!  I feel like soon as we have a break through, something else happens (teething, developmental issues.)  We transitioned from 2-1nap about 2 months ago, and that really seemed to help with the nap/nighttime problems.  Then DD got a cold, and was quite congested, so it was understandable that she was waking quite a bit at night.  Plus, when she's sick, I can't help but cuddle her a bit (maybe that's wrong, I'm not sure).  Also, she wasn't eating or drinking much during the day, so we started giving her a cup of milk if she woke early in the am, because I was worried she was hungry.  She'd always go right back to sleep, so we figured that was the problem.  Then after that she started teething her 12 month molors.  So, she's been waking quite a bit with those.  The bottom two have started to come up.  I just don't know how to deal with her when she wakes, as to not accidentally parent.  I want to comfort her because she's not feeling well, but other times I feel she's just waking wanting the attention.  The night before last we did WIWO when she woke 2.5 hours after going to bed.  It took 2 hours, but then last night she slept through until 5:20am (at which she woke wanting her milk-every morning the same time).  I just feel like I can't win.  Also, she was napping 2-2.5 hours before all this, now I'm lucky to get 1 hour out of her, so I'm sure overtiredness is contributing.  Any help would be greatly appreciated. ???

Offline MDHmommy

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Re: Is it ever going to end??
« Reply #1 on: March 01, 2007, 19:24:52 pm »
Ugh, I feel your pain. If you look one post below yours you'll see mine...

Anyway, thought I'd give some ideas.

First, yes it will end, in time. My pediatrician told me that we all inherit sleep personalitites from our parents, so some kids are better sleepers than others, and all we can do is guide and influence. So keep that in mind. That said here are some thoughts.

1) not wrong to give extra attention to a sick kid for sure, just be sure that you're not AP. Don't rock to sleep. Try pulling up a chair and patting until calm, settled, and then leave. You can do a kind of modified Wi/Wo when sick too where you stay and pat/rub, but then leave when calm and settled. You don't have to use a chair.

2) Ditch that early milk, she's waking for it now and honestly, unless your doctor tells you otherwise, she can wait until a more decent hour for her milk. Here's how I ditched the early milk (thanks to Mari's suggestion): Get a non-spill sippy with water and put it in the bed at night. Tell DD where it is, and that if she needs it, it's right there. In the AM when wants milk, go in, offer the sippy (you have to talk through this, i.e. here's some water honey, it's too early, time to lie down, etc.) if that doesn't work, which it won't at first, do Wi/Wo, offering the water in the same way, until she goes back to sleep. Then, in the morning, don't get her the milk right away. Change her, dress her, then give her the milk...even wait until breakfast for it, offering water first thing instead.

3) Give meds for the teeth. Those molars hurt like an SOB, and you'd wake up too. Think of it like getting really bad cramps, you can't sleep and all you want to do is take more advil, so you do, and you sleep! If DS is really teething badly, I'll give a dose at his bed time, and then 4 hours later go in and give another one while he's sleeping, just to keep ahead of the pain.

4) using Wi/Wo. If you're going to use it, use it all the time. So, you need to use it at bed time as well as in the night and for naps. It's super effective, and I highly reccomend it. But, the key is really consistency.

Hope it helps, it will get better eventually, but you've got to stick to a plan. And be prepared that it might get a LOT better, but might never be "perfect" for a long, long time. (((((((((((hugs))))))))))))
Kate
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Offline PeepersMom

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Re: Is it ever going to end??
« Reply #2 on: March 01, 2007, 19:43:19 pm »
I think these past 3 months have been almost as bad as the newborn days.  I am almost as anxious about what to do!  I rememeber our Dr. gave a handout on sleep early on - of course about CIO but it did say 'get sleep habits established now because toddlerhood sleep issues will arise'  HA!  I have been blaming one thing after another for the past 3 months - travel, holidays, molars, developmental stuff, teeth again, developmental, overtired, sickness, DEVELOPMENTAL!! 

I have pared down and gone back to basics today with mild success. he went down for his 1 nap at 11am and slept a straight 1.5 hours with no wake up - the first in a week - so we are going back to early bedtimes and early naps to try to get a handle on things.  We were doing great 3 months ago with 2 hour naps everyday and 11+ hour nights....

((hugs)) this is nuts

Meg
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Offline MDHmommy

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Re: Is it ever going to end??
« Reply #3 on: March 01, 2007, 20:31:05 pm »
LOL. It is NUTS. And so hard.

I think though that it's not quite *as* hard as newborn days...at least now I can tell the difference between a real cry and the fake ones we see so much of out of our little Oscar nominee...

What amazes me is that I'm able to have a real career on 4-6 hours of sleep per night, for a year! Today is March 1st, my anniversary of returning to work after maternity leave. Wow.
Kate
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Offline Lilasmom

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Re: Is it ever going to end??
« Reply #4 on: March 02, 2007, 15:15:59 pm »
Thanks for the replies girls!!  PeepersMom I've compared these past few months to the newborn stage too, although with DD I think she did better sleeping as a newborn :o.  Thank you for the suggestions.  I have been giving Lila Motrin before bed.  You can only give it every 8 hours.  It seems to help.  I agree about ditching the milk.  It has become a habit.  This morning, she didn't wake until 6am (I'd prefer 7-because she only takes one nap, so has to go down early at 11am, so a longer A time until bedtime, or we do an earlier bedtime.).  However, I knew if I gave her milk, she'd go back to bed until 7:30 or so, but we just got up instead.  Maybe this is the first step to getting rid of the am milk.  Lila went down well for her nap, so lets hope it's a good one!!

Offline imsmum

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Re: Is it ever going to end??
« Reply #5 on: March 02, 2007, 16:18:16 pm »
Just wanted to give all you ladies a hug and say --hang in there, this will pass!  My younger dd didn't sleep through until about 18 months but even then she was waking at 5:30 to start the day.  Now that she is 2,5 she sleeps until 6:30-7 most days and (most days) she still naps. So it will get better! 

IMHO I think the sleep issues  in the second year are more complicated to deal with just because they can keep themselves awake now while they couldn't as babies so you've got the start of the toddler temperment impacting sleep issues as well.   It will pass, the fog will lift and you will all be able to sleep all night again!

Offline Gippie

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Re: Is it ever going to end??
« Reply #6 on: March 02, 2007, 18:35:06 pm »
Lilas mom - AS I read the topic, I knew the rest of the story.  Your situation is the SAME as about 100 other moms right now.  5 am wakes and we all do some AP and have a lot of "reasons" why we started ad want a fix...I was one of them and my 60 day journey to sanity is on this board. 

You ask the question...when is it going to end....and I think the answer is as soon as YOU are ready.     I posted a long post, read it if you have some time, you will see I am not being unsympathetic - just realistic - I think this 5am wake crap is more about our kids cchanging and the AP we did to bridge the gaps of sleep and nnow we are paying the piper.  I think these kids at 15m +/- need a new set of sleep skills as they are more able in general.   

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=86026.0

There is no quick fix (for us it was a 60 day journey to seeing light at the end of the tunnell)....like weight loss...ongoing and a PITA - some never worry about it, some struggle forever.......

Stacey