Author Topic: silly question, but here goes....  (Read 1041 times)

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frustratedmommy

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silly question, but here goes....
« on: March 04, 2007, 02:25:46 am »
okay...am I a bad person if I don't check on my kids before I go to bed?

My DS and my DD are both pretty light sleepers...I use to crawl on hands and knees to the crib when DS was a baby to check on him, once he started sleeping in a big bed I stopped...

Now DD (who is a better sleeper than DS was), has been waking when I go in to check on her these last few nights. We are already having sleep issues all around...so should I just assume she's good and hit the sack?

Also, could you guys let me know at what age you started turning the monitor off...I'm a light sleeper myself (geez my kids didn't have a chance LOL) and some nights I find I lay there listening to her breath!

silly me!

Offline Grace's Mom

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Re: silly question, but here goes....
« Reply #1 on: March 04, 2007, 02:51:21 am »
Not a silly question at all. And, no you aren't a bad mom.  You know that they will wake so you are doing what is best for them.

We have a very tiny house and turned off the monitor right away (she only lasted in our room a week because I couldn't get any sleep).  We just leave our door open and keep hers closed.  I can hear everything as I am a VERY light sleeper as well.

My daughter is also a light sleeper so we got a video monitor.  It was only $40 at Costco or BJ's Wholesale Club. It is one of our favorite purchases.  If we do need to go in there we turn it on to see what sleep stage she is in and we can also watch her fall asleep, check on her when ever we want and see when she has woken up in the morning, etc.  It's the absolute best.

Melissa
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Grace April 2006
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Offline wfabby

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Re: silly question, but here goes....
« Reply #2 on: March 04, 2007, 03:06:00 am »
I agree with pp.  We have video monitors and I couldn't live without it!  We have a good size house and ds is across it, so being able to see him so quickly is very comforting.  I turn the sound off and keep the video on.  It must be something about being a mom, but I can practically hear him cough in his sleep ;)

My ds is 13 months old, and I don't see any reason to get rid of the monitor even when he is in a big bed.  I like the fact I can check him any time.

And no your not a bad mom for not checking!  You do what is best for the family.

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Offline aj

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Re: silly question, but here goes....
« Reply #3 on: March 04, 2007, 03:14:32 am »

Not checking on your lo's before bed does NOT make you a bad mommy - the very fact that you are even worried about it shows what an absolutely fabulous mommy you are! ;D

When my dd was a newborn I remember constantly checking in on her and sleeping with the monitor right next to my ear while on full volume! :P  My dd is now 29 mos. and it is very rare if I check on her before bed; I haven't done so since she was about 1 yr. old - unless she's sick, then I check in on her.

I stopped using the monitor when she was about 1 yr. old (her room is so close to ours that we can hear her if she calls out or cries).

Hope that helps!

Offline Layla

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Re: silly question, but here goes....
« Reply #4 on: March 05, 2007, 08:31:01 am »
We also have a video monitor and I used to be obsessed (with #1)! I would check before I went to bed and randomly wake up at night to make sure she is still asleep. So you are not a bad mother at all. We still use the video monitor and I will still check and she is nearly 2.

I still crawl to #2's cot to make sure she has fallen asleep. She doesn't make any noise and I just need to make sure (paranoid I guess) lol. But will have to stop and get another video monitor as she has woken up a few times as well  :P.

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Offline KathrynK

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Re: silly question, but here goes....
« Reply #5 on: March 05, 2007, 09:25:29 am »
I too used to check on dd before bed (and in the night if I woke up)- I stopped at around 3-4 months as it was disturbing her and I thought it's not fair to disturb her just for my own peace of mind- I need to relax and trust that she is ok and she will cry if she needs me. I have been so much more relaxed ever since, it has really helped me to stop worrying so much! We have an ordinary (not video) monitor downstairs so we can hear her if she needs us during the evening, but we stopped using it at night when dd was about 6 months- I was waking at every little noise from her. Our house isn't huge and I always hear her if she whimpers or cries out.
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andibig

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Re: silly question, but here goes....
« Reply #6 on: March 05, 2007, 12:21:00 pm »
i still check on DD b4 i go to bed ::) ::) ::).checking on your LOs doesn't make you a bad mum,we just like that reassurance.

frustratedmommy

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Re: silly question, but here goes....
« Reply #7 on: March 05, 2007, 17:02:31 pm »
So...I've started checking a little earlier in the evening...like 8:45pmish...I think that I was disturbing her further at a natural wake time when I was checking around 10ish. DH and I have noticed that she ALWAYS has been stirring in the 9:45-10 mark.

Now is that because I was disturbing her? or is that natural? hmmmm we'll see....

Thanks! Appreciate all the support!