Would rather play than nap ALL DAY

[dorisd]

Today has been so draining on my DH and I.  My dd is 10 wks old, and has spent all day resisting naps.  We would do the wind down (darken room, paci in mouth which is signal for sleep, hold against chest no patting/rocking) and then put her down in the crib.  Sometimes almost immediately, or after 10-30 minutes, she would wake up ... and begin to play, coo at the flower light on the wall, etc.  She will happily lay there for at least 15 minutes, after which she starts calling for attention.  But never crying, just fussing.  This has been going on from 9:30 a.m. to 6 p.m., after which we just gave up and gave her bath, put her to bed (she is asleep now).  With the exception of 2 30min. stretches that she spent on my dh's shoulder, my lo hasn't slept today. 

So this is the question:  if my lo wakes up (or has never gone to sleep) and just plays, do we continue to try to put her to sleep, although she obviously seems very awake?  Do we just start wind down all over again until she accepts sleep?  Or do we just let her play and then pick back up with EASY and try for next nap?

We follow her sleep cues and routine (3 hr EASY), which we have been doing for a few weeks.  However, these couple days we have been focusing on sleep training, and trying to abandon our tendencies to allow her to fall asleep on our chests before we lay her down.  I would do sh/pat in crib when she woke up to try to get her to sleep.  Sometimes I would be successful in getting her to drop off into deep sleep.  Soon after I stopped sh/patting, she would wake up.  Or sometimes sh/pat would not work as lo is too awake staring and smiling at crib slats.  I have tried simultaneously sh/patting and shielding her eyes, but she either gets upset with that or will be interested in staring at my hand.

Basic schedule (varies from day to day)--Wake up and eat 8 am, A until 9, sleep cues begin around 9-9:15, Sleep 9:30, E 11am, A until 12, S at 12:30, etc... until 7:15 when we have bath, another bf session to top off and then down for night.  Her night time sleep has been fairly good, waking around 2 and 5 to eat.  Dream feeds have not worked recently (bf --too asleep to accept soft breast, or bottle--too stimulating so wakes all the way up) so just gave it up.  I have tried extending the A to see if she would get more tired, but it seems that if I don't act on sleep cues immediately, she gets more hyper and energetic and then no naps ever.

I though she was textbook but now I am wondering if she is spirited.  Help? 

[SuperToniosMum]

I'm interested in whatever feedback you get since you have described my 16 week old to a tee!!  My little guy wakes up ready to play and coo coo at you!!  But i know he is still tired since he shows it 15 - 20 minutes later by getting fussy again.  His eyelids also get very pink, so I know 30 min is not enough.  You have totaly described my LO.... I'm keen to get any advice.

GOod luck to you, good luck to me!

[kornmesser@comcast.net]

I have a 4 week old and have been working on EASY for about a week.  The description on this email matches my newborn to a tee!  Our schedule is awake at 8, E and A until about 9:15, then down for a nap.  Eat again at 11, etc. following a 3 hour cycle.  He was born at 8 lbs and the 3 hour cycle works great for him.

When I put him in his crib for a nap, he will look around very awake and sometimes never naps.  If he does eventually fall asleep (typically takes 40 mins to 1:15 to go to sleep when he does sleep), he will then wake again in 30 minutes (or sometimes in 5 minutes if he jolts himself awake).  He very, very rarely cries and will just stay awake and make cooing or grunting noises.  Often, he will flap his arms and legs, typically about 30 minutes after I have put him down for his nap (probably overtired by this point).  I will hold him and put him down when he does flap his arms and legs, but this has not helped in extending his nap time or getting him to fall asleep.  Many times, he will stay awake until the next feeding time.

Just like the person who started this thread, I am wondering if I should let him stay awake (maybe have misread his sleep cues and put him down too early?) or if I should keep holding him and putting him down again (not sure if this is needed since he is NOT crying).  Or do I have other options? He almost NEVER cries, so I have not had to do the shh-pat much either.  If he does cry, it is usually later in the evening (between 7 and 11 pm) and I am pretty sure it is because he has not had good naps all day long.  By this time, it becomes a 2-3 hour long cry.

He will nap well in a car seat or if someone holds him (Of course trying to eliminate this as much as possible without offending visiting grandparents and still getting errands done, etc).  He does like the pacifier and that seems to help put him to sleep, but the second it falls out of his mouth, he is awake and then is crying (would not have cried had I never introduced the pacifier).  So, typically only use the pacifier when he is doing the 2-3 hour long cry at night.

He sleeps very well at night, up to 4-5 hours between feeds and has no trouble going to sleep at night.

Also, he absolutely hates to have his arms swaddled.  This seems like a good solution to him jolting awake, but he will definitely cry if I swaddle his arms (has done this since he was born and did this in the hospital as well with the nurses).  So, I will swaddle but leave his arms out of the swaddle when he goes down for a nap or for bed.  Again, he does sleep at night without his arms swaddled.

Thanks for the help!

Regina