6 MO night waking after sleeping 8-11 hours from 2 MO!

[babyshamble]

Hi All,

I am a new poster but have been reading the board for a while...  My daughter has been a textbook baby but since she started solids at 5MO she has been sleeping terribly.

She is waking at about 3.30am and gets louder and louder kicking, screaming and crying until I BF her about an hour later.  Only then will she sleep and usually it's in our bed.  As soon as we put her in her own bed she freaks out again.

She is on a 4 hour EASY schedule and only has her solids in the morning and we are going really really slowly (we started again and have only fed her potato which she hated and this week pumpkin).  My husband wants to do control crying but I don't feel like PU/PD even works so I am at a loss.  SHe just gets so upset it's like she is being tortured and I feel terrible. 

Is it OK to BF after not doing it for so long at night? 
She is still having a Dream Feed, is this OK?
She usually goes to bed at about 8pm, sleeps for 7-8 hours and then starts being angry and crying.

she naps perfectly in the day with 2 2hr naps and 1 evening catnap. 

she is also dependant on her pacifier and acted traumatised when i tried to PU/PD without it.

Have i messed everything up?  reading this it looks like i have a few bad habits that i have developed

[LLLena]

Hi, Can you post your routine and we'll start there?  You mentioned solids... what did you start with and you said you are going slowly.  Please write down what/when she's getting it too.  Does she have a lovey? You mentioned the paci... are you wanting to wean it too?

When you change the routine for los, they are going to be upset because that is not the way its usually done for them.  You are there to help guide them in the new routine and things will get better.  Please do not do CIO or controlled crying because pu/pd DOES work.  There are kinder and gentler ways to help baby through this process with you there supporting them through it. 

Lena

[babyshamble]

Thank you for your reply!  Last night I struggled for 3 hours with her and then just gave up and she slept in our bed all night from 10pm and screamed whenever I put her in her cot.

Sorry, I don't know what a lovely is?  She is using a paci and in the day time is great with it, when it falls out she still sleeps, but at night it doesn't seem to do much soothing when she is worked up.  But then when we remove it from her she get so upset!

our routine is pretty rock solid, we did EASY from day 1 - however at night it goes a bit pear shaped in that her sleeping time is not that consistent and we shower her instead of bathing when we are home:

E7.30am BF in bed with me - 10 minutes
A7.40am nappy change, sitting and reading, tummy time struggling to crawl, standing in her activity station
E8.15-8.30am solids (this week only pumpkin in the morning and nothing else all day)
A8.30-9.30am usually lies on playmat while I shower etc
S9.30am-11.30am give her paci, hold her upright against me until she falls asleep, put her in cot and she sleeps really well

E11.30am BF
A11.40am we are usually out going to a friend's house, mother's group etc.
S1.30pm-3pm

E3.30pm BF
A3.40 nappy change, plays in cot trying to crawl, then we go outside to do washing, check garden, then some sitting time looking at her books
S5.30-6pm

7-7.30pm change nappy, put on pj's, shower most days and try to put her to sleep
8.30pm she wakes up happy and wanting to be awake and playing
8.30-10pm struggling to get her to sleep, her screaming whenever we put her down
10pm-10.30pm let her sit in our bed playing with her books (she only stops crying when she sees her books at the moment!)
10.30pm 'dream feed' while she is wide awake, hold her till she falls asleep and hope that she stays in her cot

3-4am she wakes up (has been for the past month), talks, cries, then screams, paci doesn't help, usually ends in me feeding her after she kicks and struggles with her dad and is frantic.  She drinks both sides then falls asleep and cries if we put her in her cot.

We started solids at 5 months with rice cereal but went pretty quickly and gave her a new food every two days.  She is pretty gassy at night which upset her.  Apart from that though, she is perfect during the day.  never cries, always laughing and smiling. 

I feel guilty that during the day I am cleaning up, doing my own thing and then hoping that she will sleep through so that I can have a good night's sleep.  I also feel like I shouldn't be complaining since we had an angel baby until now!

Is it normal for her to be screaming and hyperventilating with PU/PD?  She gets so worked up that it takes half an hour to calm her only to put her down and have it start all over.

I never rock or sway her to bed and if she kicks i change her position or put her down.  I have read Tracy's book so many times but in practice I can't seem to get it to work.  It would be ok if there were times when she did self settle to give me a bit of motivation to continue but at the moment i feel like i'm doing something wrong.

[babyshamble]

Yes, I do want to wean the paci -that would be great!  But, she is so attached... 

And my husband is supportive and wants to wean the paci more than i do. 

[Colin Macs Mom]

3-4am she wakes up (has been for the past month), talks, cries, then screams, paci doesn't help, usually ends in me feeding her after she kicks and struggles with her dad and is frantic.  She drinks both sides then falls asleep and cries if we put her in her cot.

She's definitely hungry! LOs get a huge growth spurt at 6 mo and I suspect that's what's happening. It should last about a week or so. If she wakes at night and is hungry definitely feed her - she needs it to support the growth.

Also, unless you want to co-sleep every night, you have got to stop taking her to your bed. It's probably already a habit from the sounds of things. It's very important to be consistent and for you and your DH to be on the same page for that reason. At this point, you should decide what you want to do, take it one step at a time, and stick to it. Work on one thing at a time - either the paci or the sleeping in her own bed, but definitely not both at once.

[babyshamble]

Ok, so do you think that perhaps i encouraged a bad habit when she was 5MO by bringing her to bed/feeding her?  That's what I'm confused about, the amount of time this has lasted.  First I thought 'teething' and really babied her, then I thought 'growth spurt' and tried to tank up for 2 weeks with no difference.  Then I thought 'solids' and I must say that cutting rice cereal has made a big difference (she had her first non-painful poo today).  Now i am thinking that the paci must also have been a problem.

Today we had our first full paci-free day!  And it was pretty good - she put up a half-hearted fuss and i had to PU/PD a couple of times but she went down properly at 8pm a whole 2 and a half hours better than last night.  So, I'm feeling confident and motivated again.  I wish that I could work on the co-sleep issue now, but I will have patience and wait...

How long should I wait to work on the sleeping?  Also, I have been standing with her in my arms shhing and patting until she falls asleep and then putting her down - is this ok to do?

Thanks so much! 

[Colin Macs Mom]

Ok, so do you think that perhaps i encouraged a bad habit when she was 5MO by bringing her to bed/feeding her?  That's what I'm confused about, the amount of time this has lasted.  First I thought 'teething' and really babied her, then I thought 'growth spurt' and tried to tank up for 2 weeks with no difference. 

Hard to say, but it's definitely a possibility. At this age, they have a LOT going on between developmental stuff, teething, growth spurt and any illnesses. It's very common to have sleep disturbances at this age and it can be really hard to pinpoint the cause, which also makes it hard to know what to do. The thing to remember is what Tracy always said "Start as you mean to go on." Consistency is always the key, as well as not starting something you don't intend to make permanent (meaning accidental parenting).

Then I thought 'solids' and I must say that cutting rice cereal has made a big difference (she had her first non-painful poo today).  Now i am thinking that the paci must also have been a problem.

It's really a myth that solids will help a baby sleep - actually it most always does the opposite. It's a totally foreign thing to introduce to their system and is more complex to digest than what they're used to. So, gas and tummy upset are part of the process which interrupts sleep.

Today we had our first full paci-free day!  And it was pretty good - she put up a half-hearted fuss and i had to PU/PD a couple of times but she went down properly at 8pm a whole 2 and a half hours better than last night.  So, I'm feeling confident and motivated again.  I wish that I could work on the co-sleep issue now, but I will have patience and wait...

Good for you!!! That's really great that she didn't protest any more than that

How long should I wait to work on the sleeping?  Also, I have been standing with her in my arms shhing and patting until she falls asleep and then putting her down - is this ok to do?

I'd give her a few more days and make sure she's not going to freak about the paci after the fact, KWIM? If she continues to do fine with it then go ahead with the sleeping. You definitely don't want to hold her in your arms though. If you do that and put her down after she's asleep, she won't learn to fall asleep on her own and she will continue to be dependent upon you to do it for her. A better tactic would be to lay her in bed and shhh/pat while she's laying there.

[babyshamble]

hmmm...got it.  so i think that along the way with her being so easy to handle i started getting too comfortable and i think i have forgotten how to read her cues.

well, the day went well without her paci but then she woke up at 9.40pm hungry and not wanting to sleep.  so, i fed her and she still wouldn't sleep and it was a fight until 11pm when I got her to sleep in our bed...with the paci.  I had really just given up - was so tired and couldn't believe she wasn't even comforted by us being right next to her.  I must say though, that I didn't have the energy (and patience) to take her to her room and stand with her until she calmed down, which I probably should have

So, I am thinking that maybe I should start 'weaning' her off sleeping with us before the paci? Right now I really would like to be next to my husband (last night he slept on the floor when she wouldn't go to sleep at 5.30am after he feed)    Is this too confusing for her? 

I just can't believe I have made such a mess of it - i'm being a bit of a sad sack today.  i took a semester off uni specifically to get things sorted and instead things have gotten worse.  Anyway, I am hoping that tomorrow i can report a better night.

I will be napping when she naps today and we have cancelled most of our commitments for the coming week, so hopefully that helps with my lack of energy.
Thanks.

[Colin Macs Mom]

Yes, I would definitely start with the sleeping location before the paci. That way she has a way to comfort herself through that process.

Don't be too hard on yourself, most everyone gets into a similar situation. It's pretty hard to avoid!!

[babyshamble]

thanks!  she had her first feed at 6am today and then we slept in until 9am! oops...but today has been good she slept from 11-1 and i did not hold her at all, just patting and a hand cupped round her face which she loved - like mini-cuddle.  i hope that the late start doesn't interfere i might let her have 1 hour at 3 and cluster 6 an 8 to tank up.  then df 10.30 but i am prepared to ride out her being awake late like last night - have had a nap today also.

[Colin Macs Mom]

Good for you!!!! You're doing great 

[babyshamble]

well she went to bed beautifully at 8.30 after an hour winding down - then was up at 9pm and wouldn't settle, got worked up, started trying to crawl and shouting at me.  so i took her out to try and wind down again and she didn't sleep til after the 10.30 feed.  but, we didn't hold her and she was patted to sleep.  is it ok to sing to her?

she was up at 4.30 and screamed through a nappy change. had a feed and then kept waking up in her bed so we gave in at 5.15 and she slept with us until 6 and then went into her bed...

so, a sort of improvement.

it's amazing how run down you feel with less sleep - i had a fight with my husband about him sleeping on the floor and we haven't argued about Eden ever...

But, i have hope that in 2 weeks this will be sorted - that's realistic, right?

[Colin Macs Mom]

Yes, two weeks is a reasonable hope.    Definitely ok to sing to her as long as it doesn't wind her up.

[babyshamble]

ok last night was officially our worst night ever.  she was kicking abd screaming and slep only four hours between midnight and 4am then was awake and only stopped screaming when her dad got up and played with her and her books for 2 hours!

i gave up last night it's so loud i swear she's louder than the babies i know.  today she won't nap, abd only feeding calms her down - so i guess i will just feed her and hope she needs the food.  i am getting worried that maybe this is a supply problem...that i don't have enough milk.

[babyshamble]

well, things are not really getting any better.  i am finding it hard to be consisten with pu/pd when my LO is kicking and screaming.  she sleeps perfectly in the day, at 9-11, 1.30-3 and 4.30-5 but then it comes to the evening and she won't sleep.  she's not teething, not hungry (i am now giving her a formula feed and she takes a whole bottle), but the crying doesn't seem to subside, and if it does and i leave the room she starts up again.

i don't know what to do.