Nightmare night wakings - please help

[catkin]

Hello. I hope someone will be able to offer me some advice as my DD's night-wakings are becoming a real nightmare for me & DH. She is 6.5 months and an average day looks like this:
Wake-between 6.20-6.45 stays in cot
E - 7.00 milk & then solids at 8.00 (2-4oz)
S - 9.00 (varies 1hr/1.5hrs/1.75hrs)
E - 11.00 milks & then solids at 12.00 (2-3oz)
S - depends on wake-up time, aim for 2-2.5hrs awake time, nap can be 45min or 1.5hr/1.75hr
E - 3.00 - milk (2-3oz)
S - again depends on wake up time, aim for 2hrs/2.25hrs awake time, normally 30-40min nap
E-  5.00/5.30 - solids
     6.30 - into pjs
E - 7.00 milk  - 2-3oz (I try to put her down after this feed but she is starting to resist and can take over an hour for her to fall asleep)

E - 10.00/10.30pm - milk feed 1-4 oz, usually wakes around this time

We have had problems with night wakings for a while but they have gotten worse in the last week and we are starting to have problems with DD fighting the cat nap and fighting bedtime. The NW's are usually 1.00am ish, 2/3am ish and then 5.30am ish. However, they can also be as early as 12.00 and are not at a set time. DD usually wakes up at 10/10.30 and I will give her a final feed, although I wonder if this could be the problem and I should be resettling her instead and if this feed is affecting her others as she is a small milk drinker?

The other possible causes I have come up with are teething (although I gave her medicine before bed and she still woke up), developmental - she has started to roll from back to front in the last couple of weeks and gets stuck on her front (although this has only happened during the night once), AP- when me & DH replace her dummy in the night- this is usually enough to resettle her. In the last few days she has started shrieking/screaming the second we leave the room when we try to put her down for the night and is smiling again when we return. She also rolls around her cot, shuffles up to the other end and enjoys banging her dummy against the cot bars instead of sleeping.  We don't have these problems with the first 2 naps though (touch wood!)

In desperation, we have taken her into our bed on a few occassions when we can't resettle her in the night and she usually goes right back to sleep. I don't want this to be the norm but am getting so tired have given in to it.

If anyone can make any suggestions or can spot something in our routine that may be the cause of these dreaded night wakings, I will be very grateful. I am hoping we can nip it in the bud before it gets too established.

Thanks in advance.

[Colin Macs Mom]

Between 6 and 8 mo is commonly a rough time on sleep - they have a lot going on! Between the developmental things, teething, solids, any illnesses, and the huge 6 mo growth spurt, that's enough to keep anyone awake. The rolling especially is most always brutal on sleep.

I think your biggest problem is consistency. I think that if you can develop your routine to be more solid and use the word "depends" a lot less, you'd see improvement. You also need to be more consistent in how you handle the NW. Taking her to your bed cannot continue unless you want that to be the norm. It's amazing how fast they develop habits, and that is a really tough one to break in particular. I know it's not fun and it's hard work, but you'll only be trading one bad habit for another this way. You and your DH should talk about what you want to do and agree - if you both handle the NW you need to be on the same page about it. Have you tried PU/PD? I would also consider stopping the paci use too.

The other thing I notice is that her milk feeds are very small. She should be getting much more than that in a day. 

[catkin]

Hi, thanks for your reply. I would love for her routine to be more consistent, I am just not sure how to get it there. When the first nap length varies from day to day, I find it difficult to keep the other naps at a regular time as she will get overtired if I hold out for a specific nap time and I have been following her cues with regards to awake times, which again varies depending on how well the previous nap went etc. If you have any suggestions on how to make the routine more consistent or what I should be aiming for, they will be gratefully received.

I haven't tried PU/PD as alot of the time, she just talks rather than crying when she wakes. We have tried just to leave her to see if she settles herself back off but she can carry on chatting for well over an hour. If we sit with her and hold her hand, she will settle back off to sleep most times but I am concerned that we will end up being a prop? What method would you suggest considering she doesn't cry?

I agree that the milk feeds are small and this does concern me. On a good day, she can take 3 x 5oz bottles and a couple of smaller feeds of 2-3oz. I wonder if teething could be playing a part in the recent decrease in milk, although she has never drank more than 6oz, except when having a growth spurt.

Thanks again for your help.

[Colin Macs Mom]

I would aim for something like this:

E - 7.00 milk (6 oz) & then solids at 8.00
S - 9.15 (1.5hrs)
E - 11.00 milk (6 oz) & then solids at 12.00
S - 1.00 nap (at least 1.5 hours but no more than 2)
E - 3.00 - milk (6 oz)
S - 5.00 catnap 30 minutes
E-  5.30 - solids
     6.30 - into pjs
E - 7.00 milk  (6 oz)

E - 10.30pm - DF milk feed 4 oz

At this age, she's probably getting ready to drop the catnap in the evening. So this routine here is assuming she's not quite there yet.   

How long has she been on solids?

I haven't tried PU/PD as alot of the time, she just talks rather than crying when she wakes. We have tried just to leave her to see if she settles herself back off but she can carry on chatting for well over an hour. If we sit with her and hold her hand, she will settle back off to sleep most times but I am concerned that we will end up being a prop? What method would you suggest considering she doesn't cry?

If she's not crying, then absolutely leave her be. It's annoying I know, but if you interfere she won't learn to put herself back to sleep. That's a huge part of independent sleep. Even if it's over an hour, let her do it. You're right that you'll become a prop if you hold her hand and such. Just make sure that you start the day at normal time, even if she wants to party in there for three hours.

Teething can definitely affect how much a LO will take from breast or bottle. The sucking makes their mouth hurt even more. If she's still taking solids fine try to get as much milk mixed in there as you can. Or maybe offer the bottle more often while she's teething.