couple of questions from an insecure mommy

[bicah]

So, I have a couple questions that everyone probably will think sound dumb, but i am a very shy and insecure mom and is very nervous in certain situations because I just dont know how to handle things (etiquette wise) (also, had no idea where topost this)

1. when going for a long walk, to a park or someplace that there is no changing facilities what do you do when you need to do a diaper change? go back to the car if possible? if not possible, find a place to stop yuor walk and change? change him in the stroller?

2. also, when going places that do have a changing facility but are just gross (zoo, aquarium) do u change in the stroller, or go out to the car? i guess maybe i am a bit of a germaphobe (spelling?) I have to be honest and say that I have only once changed him in a changing facility. I totally avoid it. I will bring him to the car or just take quick trips. i do change him in his stroller because it reclines if we are out for a long time.

3. when going shopping and your child does not want to be in the cart, what do you do? bribe w/ food a toy? and if that doesnt work....? ignore the complaints or leave?


believe it or not, these things inhibit me from doing a lot so advice is truly appreciated and my son is almost 2! I do not want him to live a sheltered life because of my insecurities.

[aisling]

((((HUGS))))

With changing, I do it anywhere as long as I have my own changing pad with me to put under him.  I have also bought the disposable ones that are very handy and you don't have to worry about cleaning them straight after, just chuck into the bin.

As long as you are not near food, I have no problem seeing Mums change there LO's in public if there are no facilities or a seperate room near by.  If it is a poo, and you are near to people and they will catch a whiff, then I would move as far as away as possible or do in the stroller or the car like you do if no facilities around. I think that could offend others.  A pee change takes seconds as well and some may not even notice.

I can't comment on the shopping cart thing as my DS is a shop-oholic and loves the cart, as it is up high and he can see the world as he is very nosy.

HTH,

Aisling x

[Erin M]

Hi there--

When going to the park, we do what Aisling does and often change on the grass away from everyone (esp if it's a rather stinky diaper)

When somewhere like the zoo/aquarium, I often change in the stroller - put the top up so we have some privacy and try and step away from most people.  If we're about ready to go home I'll just wait and do it in the car.  You could always bring the stroller into the bathroom and change him in the stroller in the bathroom.  I totally know what you mean about public changing tables being disgusting sometimes.  I sometimes avoid them too.

As far as shopping, I almost always bring snacks with me.  I tell my dd beforehand what we're doing, where we're going, that she can have a snack, etc.  It also helps that the grocery stores near us give out stickers, balloons, cookies, etc which keeps her interested.  Toys don't seem to work as well for us.  I plan to go out not too close to naptime in case she's tired (which tends to lead to more meltdowns).  Also, asking her about stuff in the store -- "Can you help Mommy find the broccoli?" helps keep her attention.  I've been known to sing quite loudly in the store as well if it will keep her happy.  If she's totally had it, then we generally leave, but it doesn't happen very often.

HTH!

[¤ Efka ¤]

I use my own changing pad in changing rooms in malls or stroller when changing place is too yucky.
Outside, just step away and also changing pad or stroller.

As far as cart, nothing yet woks, so when he is too wind up , grocery shopping have been too long, usually after long day too I just pick him up.

[momofclaire]

1.  I try to change Claire in private as much as possible. I wouldn't want someone stripping me down in public so I don't do it to her.  If I have no private options I would change her in the stoller away from people if possible. 

2.  I carry a spray hand sanitizer and really wipe those things down before I put Claire on them.  I also put a changing pad under her.  There was one time that it was too gross so I took her to the car.

3.  I try to go to the store after nap time or during snack time.  She is pretty happy to take her snack in the cart.  I also go to Kroger (local grocer) because they have free balloons at the front.  I get one if we have to go to the store and she is in a less than stellar mood.    If she really acts up in a store we leave, period.  I will not teach her that it is ok to throw fits in public.  Hopefully when she's older she will care when I say, "we will leave if you can't act appropriatly."  Now, we just leave. 

[aisling]

Maybe it is a Canadian thing, but I have yet to run into a really dirty changing facility! 

Even Home Depot's is nice with a nice area to also nurse your child.  My all time favourite Mummy/Baby room though is IKEA's, they are fantastic!

I shall consider us fortunate then.   

Aisling x

[esthere]

I had too post because harry is nearly three and potty trained and I still have not fully gotten over using public facilities.
Heres what I have done:

1: Always used my own changing pad , and had a spare at home so I could wash the one I used that day.
2: I would have brought my own stroller into a changing room if it was bad, lay it flat put my changing pad in and did it that way.

Harry loves the shopping trolley, one thing you could do is give him a list with pictures of what you need and show him as you put them in, or get him to see if he can match item to picture

hugs
Est

[momofclaire]

Aisling, your new avatar is simply precious.  Where did you get those little chicks?

[aisling]

Oh, you are sweet, thanks.  Our photographer arranged them for Easter.  All proceeds went to the Canadian MS Society.

Sorry for interupting Bicah! 

[jumblebox]

Just thinking out loud, so feel free to ignore anything that wouldn't work. Mushy mommy brain, tonight.

Did you say he's almost 2 yrs old? I imagine he's pretty steady on his feet, then? If you can help him put pants on while he's standing (maybe holding onto something for balance), what about pull-ups? Just an idea... we're months behind, but sometimes I can't get DS to lay down for a diaper change, and I've changed him while he's standing at our headboard, playing at the window/curtain. (he's spirited  ) Doesn't work for dirty diapers. 

We always change DS last thing before we leave the house. If we're gone less than about 3 hrs, we usually can get away w/o changing him (unless it's a dirty diaper, obviously). Lots of times, I don't even bother taking the diaper bag. 

Bad mommy... I've put the changing pad on the bathroom floor, before. We've changed him in the back seat of the car. Like pp, I don't like changing him in full view of people.

Shopping cart: Again, we're months behind. I imagine this will be an issue for us, eventually. DS is extremely social & curious, so when we're shopping I try to get him engaged with what we're looking at, I'll let him choose between 2 shirts or sippy cups, etc. He'll flirt with the ladies. Basically, he's usually happy for the change of scenery and the attention from other shoppers. In the grocery store, I'll give him a bagel... or a small paper bag... or a produce bag (the really thin plastic ones) blown up w/air & tied off. I won't go right before nap or bedtime. I try to make sure he gets a bit of active time, before we leave the house. If he starts screaming in the store,  we have a game where I start singing nonsense "la la la"... "let's make happy noises, instead"... and then I grab what I need as quickly as possible.

[bicah]

Thank you so much for all your advice. I definately feel better about going out and having to change him now. I guess for the grocery cart, I have to just find what will work for him and do what I can while there. I probably shouldnt stress about these things, but I guess I just get a little nervous. Thanks again.
Oh, jumblebox, i like the idea of pull-ups. I am gonna try them!